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Featured: That was the week that was (May 12-18 2018)


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Saturday May 12… 
 
We might be reporting Monchengladbach over them tapping up Rhian Brewster. This whole moving to Germany thing, it’s just a stupid fucking fad that these young English players are being taken in by. It’s like sleeve tattoos and shit haircuts. One does it and the others all want to follow. It’s pointless. 
 
I keep hearing about this Sancho kid who left City for Dortmund, and Reece Oxford who went to Gladbach on loan for the season. “Oh look at them getting first team football”. They started eleven games between them. ELEVEN! They’d have probably got more starts if they’d stayed put. This whole thing reeks of agents lining their pockets by giving the kids bad advice. 
 
Not much else going on today so I had a look at some of the clickbait shit on news now. The Daily Star are running something about how Madrid considered offering us £86m for Keita but didn’t because they knew we wouldn’t sell him. Okaaaaaay. Of course the Express were all over that shit too, as they’ll run literally anything if it gets them a click. Maybe Madrid didn’t bid that because THEY HAVEN’T FUCKING GOT IT!! It’s the biggest myth in European footy that Madrid can buy whoever they like because they’re loaded. They haven’t bought anyone big since Bale. 
 
There’s a few outlets linking us with Sami Khedira too. Good player but he wouldn’t last five minutes playing at the tempo Klopp has our midfield lads playing at. Still, if it gets clicks then who cares. Other rumours have us being in for Harry Maguire. There’s more chance of us signing Jerry Maguire. I’m calling it now, Klopp won’t sign a centre half this summer as I reckon he’s more than happy with what he has. So am I actually.
 
Not be outdone, the Italian press are saying Juve are set to announce they’ve completed a deal for big Emre ‘any day now’. Yeah, and how long have we been hearing this? He may well end up there, but I’d confidently bet that nothing will be announced this week because the Italian press know nothing. 
 
The Spanish press are talking shite too, saying Mo is off to Madrid for £130m and we’re using the dough to sign Dembele from Barca. Firstly, Madrid can’t afford Mo. Secondly, if we want Dembele we’ve got the money for him already without selling anyone. 
 
One of Egypt’s most famous players is doing the arl Edinson Cavani routine though and trying to sell our star player: Hany Ramsy, who was a really good player back in the day, is running his mouth and talking shite. ”All the media are talking about Real Madrid or Barcelona. For me, Salah is ready to make this step. For him it’s time. It’s the right time to transfer or go to Real Madrid, especially I think Real Madrid as the way they play could be a very, very good transfer for Salah. I think he makes history for an Egyptian player and this is very important. Also that all the world can see that Egypt has talent.“ 
 
What, and the world can’t see that when he’s tearing shit up for us in the biggest league in the world and helping us to a Champions League final? Shut up you tit. 
 
Sunday May 13… 
 
L 4 Brighton 0 Boss that. The result was what we needed but the biggest take away for me was how fresh and sharp the lads looked after a full week to prepare. Not gonna lie, I was worried that all the games had caught up with us, but clearly that’s not the case. They looked leggy in recent weeks just because they were playing twice a week. With two weeks to prepare for the final I reckon our lads will be ready to fucking run all over Madrid. They won’t know what’s hit them, they don’t have to face anything like us in La Liga but the arrogant bastards won’t even think for a second that we can beat them. If we show up we’ll fucking destroy them. IF we show up. 
 
Made up for Solanke today. I almost typed 'my boy Dom' then as he's been my boy all season, but I bailed on him last week when he missed that header at Chelsea so I feel a little uneasy about shamelessly jumping back on the bandwagon. I like the kid though, he's going to be a really good striker in this league, I just don't think it will be here because there aren't going to be enough opportunities for him to play and develop. Interesting that we played 4-2-3-1 today though, I thought it worked very well and might be worth looking at again in pre-season.  
 
Meanwhile, in Scotland. Rangers went 3-0 down, came roaring back to get to 5-3 up and then threw it away and drew 5-5. At least Stevie is used to that kind of crazy shit. When his team plays Brendan’s it might finish 10-9. 
 

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"You ain’t got three European Cups? Sorry, you ain’t getting in. Ok, tell you what, maybe we can work something out, have you got two? No? Fuck off then…. You still here? You don’t give up easily do you. Ok, we’ll let you in with one European Cup. Each. Ok, between you. You don’t even have that? Get the fuck out of here before we call the police."

 

Love it!

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"You ain’t got three European Cups? Sorry, you ain’t getting in. Ok, tell you what, maybe we can work something out, have you got two? No? Fuck off then…. You still here? You don’t give up easily do you. Ok, we’ll let you in with one European Cup. Each. Ok, between you. You don’t even have that? Get the fuck out of here before we call the police."

 

Love it![/quote. Haha Dave this is the best thing you’ve wrote this season. Genius.

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"I keep hearing about this Sancho kid who left City for Dortmund, and Reece Oxford who went to Gladbach on loan for the season. “Oh look at them getting first team football”. They started eleven games between them. ELEVEN! They’d have probably got more starts if they’d stayed put. This whole thing reeks of agents lining their pockets by giving the kids bad advice."

 

You missed out Ademola Lookman at Leipzig. Only been there since January, 5 goals in 11 appearances and several assists too.  He turned down a loan to Derby to go there.

Punch Line: Fat Sam loaned him out from Everton - so there's no way he would have got more starts!! 

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