Premier League Round Up (May 13 2018)

[tlw content]

So that's it then. Another season in the books. It seems to go faster every year, like life in general really. Since I turned forty it's as though someone hit the fast forward button on life, much like me when the Mancs are on MOTD. I don't think I watched them even once this season except when they dropped points.
 
I might have to adopt the same policy for Spurs next season. Not because they're dull like United, but because I can't stand the fuckers. 
 
Thanks for nothing Leicester. They scored four goals at Wembley and still managed to lose, the fucking gobshites. Puel is supposed to be a dour, defensive minded manager who plays dull football. The fact that Leicester are involved in a game like this shows just how little notice they're paying to what he's telling them.
 
Vardy headed them in front after four minutes but Danny Simpson’s clanger put Kane clean through to score. The keeper’s attempt at keeping it out was pathetic too. No idea where Schmeichel was but this loser who replaced him was fucking terrible. 
 
Mahrez rifled Leicester ahead again and Gray should have made it 3-1 but was denied by Lloris. Spurs were all over the place and Iheanacho’s screamer put Leicester in the driving seat at 3-1. At this point we were looking good for third but they fucking bottled it. Lamela’s first league goal since the opening day of LAST SEASON got Spurs back in it, although it shouldn’t have counted as he was offside, the shit pretty boy twat. 
 
Spurs levelled with one of the spawniest goals of the season that ended up flying in off Fuchs after a couple of other ricochets. It got worse for Leicester when Gray’s fuck up ended up with another tap in for Lamela but they came roaring back with a classic 'Mahrez to Vardy' goal to make it 4-4. That goal came about because Kane spurned the chance to square the ball and instead tried to go himself and lost the ball. He was so desperate to catch Mo he wasn't passing to anybody, the selfish fuck. 
 
He did get another goal eventually (good one it was too) to finally kill off Leicester and secure third spot for Spurs. Their fans have been giving it the big ‘un on social media about how many times they’ve finished above us in the last ten years. Yeah congratulations of winning the ‘finishing above Liverpool cup’, when’s the parade? Fucking getting as bad as the blueshite these knobheads. 
 

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[UnwelcomeinPeru]

The fact that we let 9 points go down with the bottom three has a lot to do with us not finishing where we should have done.

 

Vote of Thanks: these reports are a Friday highlight, usually the cue for a mid-afternoon Americano and a sugared doughnut. Thank you for them all. 

[Mark M]

Going to miss these roundups. Any plans on doing some roundup / reports for the WC matches Dave ?

[sir roger]

Twats of the Season XI 
 

Ederson: Shit tattooed, Mané shafting twat. 

 

Hector Bellerin: Arsenal Fan TV disrespecting twat.
 
Ahmed Hegazi: Rib punching, behemoth twat.
 
Nicolas Otamendi: Team of the Year gatecrashing, over rated twat.
 
Ashley Young: Not quite as loathsome as he used to be, bird shit eating twat. 
 

Ander Herrera: King Twat.
 
James McCarthy: Dirty, bitter, blag James McArthur twat 
 

Erik Lamela: Diving, boy band looking twat.
 
Jesse Lingard: Ugly, shit celebrations twat
 
Dominic Calvert-Lewin: Diving, weird eyebrows twat. 
 

Harry Kane: Lying, greedy, fame gone to his head, self absorbed, overly sensitive, ugly, big chinned slobbering twat. 

 

Subs: 
 

Fraser Forster: Bench warming twat.
 
Phil Jones: Gurning Warrington faced twat
 
Richarlison: Diving stupid faced twat
 
Marouane Fellaini: Elbowing twat.
 
Alexis Sanchez: Money grabbing twat.
 
Javier Hernandez: Still calling himself ‘Chicarito’ twat.
 
Paul Pogba: Style over substance twat.

 

 

Brilliant stuff , surely this selection will be picked up by the Times or Telegraph ?

[Redlewie]

These roundups, together with the match reports and "that was the week that was", are just about the finest things a Liverpool supporter can read.

 

Fantastic stuff Dave, well worth the subscription.

 

...looks like an extra from prisoner from cell block H.

 

Haha, fucking genius.

[dave u]

Going to miss these roundups. Any plans on doing some roundup / reports for the WC matches Dave ?

 

Yeah I'll be doing the World Cup round ups as normal.

[dockers_strike]

 

Twats of the Season XI 

 

Ederson: Shit tattooed, Mané shafting twat. 

 

Hector Bellerin: Arsenal Fan TV disrespecting twat.

 

Ahmed Hegazi: Rib punching, behemoth twat.

 

Nicolas Otamendi: Team of the Year gatecrashing, over rated twat.

 

Ashley Young: Not quite as loathsome as he used to be, bird shit eating twat. 

 

Ander Herrera: King Twat.

 

James McCarthy: Dirty, bitter, blag James McArthur twat 

 

Erik Lamela: Diving, boy band looking twat.

 

Jesse Lingard: Ugly, shit celebrations twat

 

Dominic Calvert-Lewin: Diving, weird eyebrows twat. 

 

Harry Kane: Lying, greedy, fame gone to his head, self absorbed, overly sensitive, ugly, big chinned slobbering twat. 

 

Subs: 

 

Fraser Forster: Bench warming twat.

 

Phil Jones: Gurning Warrington faced twat

 

Richarlison: Diving stupid faced twat

 

Marouane Fellaini: Elbowing twat.

 

Alexis Sanchez: Money grabbing twat.

 

Javier Hernandez: Still calling himself ‘Chicarito’ twat.

 

Paul Pogba: Style over substance twat.

 

 

Brilliant stuff , surely this selection will be picked up by the Times or Telegraph ?

 

 

Epic.

[Barnesey]

Three worst teams went down? The evidence presented before us Liverpool fans suggests WBA were unlucky to be ousted by Huddersfield.

 

But points scored tells a different story and that’s what counts.

[sir roger]

Yes , I would say Huddersfield were the worst team I saw at Anfield , with Everton in the league game in second.

[Peter Cormack]

Brilliant as ever Dave, marked by one error,

Ashley Young „not quite as“ surely should read „twice as“. How come that sneaky thug Valencia doesn‘t figure, he‘s a massive twat.

[dylstar]

Boss read Dave ....even better reading it on the coast of Greece; Halkikidi ....the Aegean Sea lovely

[aws]

Yes , I would say Huddersfield were the worst team I saw at Anfield , with Everton in the league game in second.

Thought Everton were the worst. It was like watching an old 4th division side playing for touch.

[dave u]

worst teams to play us is not the same as worst three overall though.

 

West Brom deserved to finish bottom because of how bad they were against everyone else prior to Moore taking over.

 

Huddersfield punched well above their weight and deserved to stay up based on the effort they put in. Aesthetically they were one of the worst teams, no question, but look at the players they have?

 

They fought and scrapped for every point.

[aws]

Southampton should have gone down. They've gone to shit lately.

[sir roger]

worst teams to play us is not the same as worst three overall though.

 

West Brom deserved to finish bottom because of how bad they were against everyone else prior to Moore taking over.

 

Huddersfield punched well above their weight and deserved to stay up based on the effort they put in. Aesthetically they were one of the worst teams, no question, but look at the players they have?

 

They fought and scrapped for every point.

 

Yeah , was made up Huddersfield stayed up particularly after seeing how limited they were at Anfield.

[Trumo]

Thought Everton were the worst. It was like watching an old 4th division side playing for touch.

 

Agreed.

[dave u]

Pickford kicking it into the stands at every opportunity. It was pitiful. One of the most annoying things about the season is we didn't destroy them in both league games.

[StevieMax]

 "Granted, I doubt anyone else has had so many opponents cower in the corner begging not to be hit, but that says more about the shithousery of those teams than it does anything negative about City, as it’s hardly their fault. Hopefully more teams will grow some balls for next season though or the same thing will happen again."

 

Just seen a stat that said that if every shot on target against City had gone in they would have still won the league!

[sir roger]

And we probably had half of them shots

[dave u]

Just seen a stat that said that if every shot on target against City had gone in they would have still won the league!

 

That's absolutely incredible.

[JustTosh]

Missing cunt award to Delle Alli is as bad as Kevin Friend missing stonewall pens. And btw where’s the cunt award to our beloved Friend?

 

Maybe you’ll need to do a twats of the season XI reserves next season as well?

[StevieMax]

Dele Alli is the Ballon D'Or Twat winner for these photos alone:

 

http://www.boohooplc.com/media/image-gallery/boohooman-campaign-2.aspx