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Premier League Round Up (Apr 14-19 2018)

tlw content

By tlw content,
in FF - Football Forum

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tlw content Grand Master

tlw content

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Not a great week for Spurs as Karma bitch slapped them around a bit after their shameful Harry Kane shenanigans last week. They got dicked at home by Man City on Saturday and then dropped two more points at Brighton in midweek, putting us in control of our own destiny for third spot.

 

City were brilliant at Wembley. I’m glad about that for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because fuck Spurs. Secondly, because we’ve beaten them three times in the space of as many months it’s been downplayed just how impressive they are. Like it or not, City have generally been brilliant this season, but we’re their Kryptonite. Just because we can turn them over doesn’t make them any less impressive. It just shows how dangerous we are.
 
They've been helped by loads of opponents having "Mike Tyson syndrome" whereby they're beaten before they even start because they're terrified of getting battered, but there's no getting away from the fact that City have been miles better than everyone else over the course of the season. They'll top 100 goals and there's a good chance they'll top 100 points too. 

 

Having lost twice to us though and also allowed United to pull off a flukey win last week, City went into this game looking a bit vulnerable. Spurs have been flying and will have fancied their chances but they were quickly put back in their box as City tore them apart early on. Sane was relishing the sudden freedom of life outside Trent’s pocket and he smashed a volley against the post in the opening minutes. Bless him, he was like a dog that had been cooped up all day and then let loose in the garden. He just wanted to run and run. 

 

De Bruyne then found space and fizzed a rasping shot just wide. Not like him to miss the target, but he was probably a little surprised at the room he had and was looking around wondering why Milner wasn’t attached to him like a limpet. 

 

Jesus ran clear of Sanchez to latch onto a long ball and give City the lead. Sterling was then awarded penalty by Fat Jon Moss when Loris clipped him outside the box. Sterling wasn’t trying to go around the keeper and he got his pass away to his intended target before he was caught. Plus it was outside the box so Spurs weren’t happy, but fuck them.
 
It was a difficult one for Moss because he’s used to helping out both of these teams with shitty decisions, but now one of them was going to suffer because of it. Must have been a nightmare for him, the poor guy. 

 

Gundogan buried the pen but it was a strange one. He came at it from a weird angle and the ball looked like it could only be going in one place. It did go in that place (and it was inch perfect right in the corner) but for some reason Lloris dived the other way. 

 

Defensively Spurs were a mess and it was mostly that Sanchez kid. It always surprises me they don’t get caught out a lot more than they do because they play such a high line and leave loads of room in behind. I always fancy us to exploit that and City were taking them to the cleaners with balls in behind. 

 

Davies then nailed Kompany with a proper shithouse tackle that most refs would have produced a red card for. Jon Moss though. *shakes head* Fucking useless. Davies didn’t face any retroactive punishment either, which is a bit much considering Marcos Alonso got done this week for a tackle that was very similar. Not getting into which was worse, they were both bad and it’s bizarre that one got suspended and the other didn’t. Fucking Spurs, sick of them getting away with shit. I actually hope Chelsea pip them to fourth you know. 

 

Lamela then dived to try to win a penalty (as he does) but Moss wasn’t buying it. Well of course he wasn’t, Liverpool weren’t the opposition. He didn’t book Lamela though, the massive shithouse. Probably just had a quiet word about 'save those for when you're playing those scouse cunts'. 

 

Eriksen pulled one back when the ball ricocheted onto his shin and ended up in the net. Sterling missed his customary sitter before then scoring his customary tap in. He missed another great chance soon after following one of the best passes of the season from De Bruyne. Just a glorious touch from De Bruyne that was. 

 

Guardiola was all sweetness and light in his post match interview, kissing the BBC interviewer's arse and being dead nice and smiley. Fucking bell. The difference in him when things go his way to when they don’t is huge. Say what you like about Mourinho, and God knows I do, but at least he is consistent in that he’s an obnoxious cunt whether they win lose or draw. Egghead Pep is a fake nice guy, don’t let him fool you. 

 

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dave u Grand Master

dave u

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How the fuck is Otamendi in the team of the year. He's a fucking liability under the smallest amount of pressure. The fact most teams are shithouse who won't put them under pressure shouldn't give him a free pass.

 

He shouldn't even be in City's team of the season.

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