Everton 0 Liverpool 0 (Apr 7 2018)

[tlw content]

  
Before I get stuck into the report, I need to begin with an apology and a retraction. Last week, in the Premier League Round Up I wrote the following: 
 
“The Blues did their bit to aid City’s preparation for their Champions League visit to Anfield by sitting back and letting the leaders have as much of the ball as they wanted while they watched and admired. The cunts may as well have been eating popcorn.
 
They only had 17.9% possession this time. At home!!! I mean fucking hell, Fernandinho had 14.5% possession himself. Of all the statistics I’ve ever seen I think that might be the maddest. Think about it, one player had almost as much of the ball as the entire fucking Everton team.
 
They should be ashamed of themselves. They might be the worst, most feeble, inept bunch of shithouses that City have faced all season. But then that was the plan, wasn’t it? Don’t want to make City play an actual competitive game before they go to Anfield.
 
Watch the difference in their approach this weekend. Bet they kick fucking lumps out of us. Even if we rest some of our key men they’ll be booting fuck out of them on the bench or in the stands, the bitter bastards.”  
 
It was wrong of me to question Everton’s commitment and professionalism against Manchester City. It has now become clear that they are in fact just incredibly shit and lacking in any kind of passion. 
 
We went there with half a team missing, and the ones who were included clearly did not want to be there. It was a game we could have done without; a game that virtually nobody connected with LFC actually gave much of a shit about. We were ripe for the picking. 
 
Yet despite this, we completely dominated the game until fatigue set in late on and Everton finally had a bit of a go. They’re just terrible, and whatsmore they know it. There wasn’t even any real fight in the crowd, let alone the team. It was the tamest derby I can ever remember. 
 
If they can’t beat us when literally everything was in their favour, they must be thinking that they never will. 17 derbies without defeat for us now, but at the risk of seeming ungrateful, considering the massive gulf between the teams too many of them have been draws. They’ve stolen a couple of draws at Anfield in recent years and they got lucky with the timing of this one. Had we not been preoccupied with City we’d have fucking battered them. 
 
While it’s funny that they haven’t beaten us in 17, we’ve drawn with them twice this season even though this is as bad an Everton side as I’ve ever seen. That’s four points that would have us comfortably ahead of Spurs and right on United’s heels. 
 
Everton have had worse teams in the past, but they made up for that by being dirty bastards and we always knew we’d been in a game. This was a glorified training session. 
 

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[The Guest]

Klavan had a good game I thought. I wonder why it took him this long to make it to this level. He’s a very good footballer and he just never gets rattled or nervous about anything. First start for absolutely ages and at left back and he just gives no shits.

[Anubis]

I thought Klavan did a superb job on Walcott. Felt a bit sorry for Bolasie for the treatment he got off his own fans though. At least he was the one Everton player who put a bit of effort in.

[Dave D]

Its ridiculous when you think about it. 

 

We are 3-0 up?...............

 

Why am I nervous????????????

[Josef Svejk]

Not a single reference to Rooney?! He was hilariously bad. And then embarrassed himself when subbed off.

 

Missed opportunity, Usher...

[sir roger]

Dave's write-up was more interesting than the game.

[Marcas]

Everyone’s nervous. There’s no in-between in this one: it’s either going to be great night or one of the worst...