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Carvalho Diablo

Tonight's Takeaway

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I live up a very steep hill. I'm trying to figure out the heaviest possible order for some Deliveroo cunt to deliver for below minimum wage. Then I'll send my four year old to the door to receive it so I don't have to pay a tip.

 

 

 

 

 

* Granted, none of this will transpire. But I've had a shit day and hate the fucking world...

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Had a spicy calzone last night from my local Italian restaurant as a takeaway. It's fast becoming my favourite meal. Flat pizzas are outdated to me now.

Never had a calzone. What's the story?

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Never had a calzone. What's the story?

Buy a pizza, cook it, drop it on the floor, pretend you intended to fold it over.

 

If you make a complete mess of it after dropping, roll it up and call it a stromboli.

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Never had a calzone. What's the story?

 

As Josef mentioned, it's a pizza folded in two, with the edges then folded over to hold all the toppings inside. It keeps the inside really moist, but allows the top layer of dough to dry out a bit, meaning you can get a bit of purchase with your teeth and eat it like the world's largest pasty.

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As Josef mentioned, it's a pizza folded in two, with the edges then folded over to hold all the toppings inside. It keeps the inside really moist, but allows the top layer of dough to dry out a bit, meaning you can get a bit of purchase with your teeth and eat it like the world's largest pasty.

In fairness, a good calzone is a wondrous thing. But I haven't had one in years.

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In fairness, a good calzone is a wondrous thing. But I haven't had one in years.

 

I'm obviously lucky, as my local Italian restaurant seems to be decent at them. Thinking about heading there for my birthday meal next month, as I've always wanted to try some different pasta dishes.

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Had a spicy calzone last night from my local Italian restaurant as a takeaway. It's fast becoming my favourite meal. Flat pizzas are outdated to me now.

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It reminds me of a sketch i saw somewhere may have been the Simpsons.

In a Mexican restaurant and the food comes. Customer complains saying this is a Burrito and I ordered an Enchilada.

Waiter apologises, leans across and unfolds the burrito spins it around and folds it the other way.

There you are sir.

Much better thank you.

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It reminds me of a sketch i saw somewhere may have been the Simpsons.

In a Mexican restaurant and the food comes. Customer complains saying this is a Burrito and I ordered an Enchilada.

Waiter apologises, leans across and unfolds the burrito spins it around and folds it the other way.

There you are sir.

Much better thank you.

That was Billy Connolly, off one of his stand-up shows.

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Woke up ravenous after a night on the piss. Haven't eaten a thing in almost 24 hours so I'm now planning to order a humongous dirty pizza at tea time, something dripping with tomato, peppers and spicy meats.

 

Until then it'll be feet up with coffee and biscuits watching the unmentionable.

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Ordered two parmo's and a "cheese box". £29.10.

 

I've told the cheeky cunts to come and get it collected. 

 

20210724_195912.jpg

 

20210724_192036.jpg

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19 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

Ordered two parmo's and a "cheese box". £29.10.

 

I've told the cheeky cunts to come and get it collected. 

 

20210724_195912.jpg

 

20210724_192036.jpg

Repped for complaining about food. What is wrong with it? Mingebag portions?

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1 minute ago, Tony Moanero said:

Repped for complaining about food. What is wrong with it? Mingebag portion?

Tiny portions T', that box thing in the middle cost six notes and those parmo's are smaller than my cock. 

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1 minute ago, Stouffer said:

Tiny portions T', that box thing in the middle cost six notes and those parmo's are smaller than my cock. 

I wouldn’t be happy. I’d expect the “cheese box” to be full. I’ve never had a Parmo, but I understand it’s a chicken breast. One of those would be ok as a starter!

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28 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

Ordered two parmo's and a "cheese box". £29.10.

 

I've told the cheeky cunts to come and get it collected. 

 

20210724_195912.jpg

 

20210724_192036.jpg

Should have stuck to the Kebaps Stouff. 

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