IBS

[Spy Bee]

Anybody else suffer/ed with this shit?

 

I got a stomach infection in Costa Rica last January and basically didn't get any better. I have finally been diagnosed with Post Infection IBS. The consultant basically said that there is nothing they can do, just take lopiramide (Imodium) and wait until your stomach sorts itself out!

 

Anyway, the reason I am sharing this, is that someone put me onto some stuff called VSL#3. It's a really powerful probiotic which helps you to equalise the good/bad bacteria in your gut.

 

I wouldn't say I am 100% healed, but I am miles better! I read a review online from a guy who had IBS for 30 or 40 years and then took VSL#3 and went into total remission.

 

Anyway, in true GF spirit, I am going to confess that this condition led to be shitting myself in the World Trade Centre in Dubai. Possibly the most traumatic experience of my life!

 

Who else has had a shit somewhere completely inappropriate?

[Mook]

I don't have it but my ex had it really bad, we had to leave restaurants & things like that, I felt terrible for her.

 

Not as bad as I felt for myself after she'd been in the bog right enough, fucking Hell.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I used to have terrible guts, always shitting anywhere we went, had to carry my own bog roll at all times.  A doctor told me it was mild IBS brought on by anxiety.  When I met my missus it all but disappeared apart from when we're going through some stress.

 

As for a shit somewhere inappropriate I've got a hatfull but the grimmest part was that I was notorious for leaving the Krazyhouse with one sock, the other having had to be used as an emergency arse wiper. 

[Jockey]

Was it just me who thought this was about this irritable shit? 

 

[Section_31]

Yeah I've had it on and off since I was in school, comes in bouts I find. I actually quit uni first time round with it as I used to get dead uncomfortable in lectures wanting a shit. I'll try that stuff you mentioned, by and large though I've found all treatments for it pretty useless.

 

Also,

 

Anyway, in true GF spirit, I am going to confess that this condition led to be shitting myself in the World Trade Centre in Dubai.

 

That's absolutely top drawer, well done!

 

I shit in my dressing gown a few years back when I was on the GF and was so engrossed in the thread I didn't immediately go the bog.

[Spy Bee]

I'll try that stuff you mentioned, by and large though I've found all treatments for it pretty useless.

£45 for a 30 day course, so not cheap, but for me it's been life changing.

 

If I eat fatty food it still goes through me like a Porsche, and coffee gives me the hurry-ups, but I'm miles better than I was.

[Section_31]

£45 for a 30 day course, so not cheap, but for me it's been life changing.

 

If I eat fatty food it still goes through me like a Porsche, and coffee gives me the hurry-ups, but I'm miles better than I was.

 

Is it a one off or do you have to keep taking it? Dear do that!

 

I've not identified any specific foods that set me off,  seems to be circumstances/stress.

[ZonkoVille77]

I have ulcerative colitis but I was initially diagnosed with IBS. Stress and anxiety are a major part of flare ups.

I guess my meds for UC keep IBS at bay, or at least I don't consider IBS anymore.

 

My mates used to say it was like going on holidays with your Grandad when going away with me. I was forever in the bogs.

Drinking, disco biscuits and powder made it massively worse.

[KMD7]

Ya have it for years now.  I'm not too bad at the moment and am careful with diet, barely drink anymore either.  I normally get up in the morning an hour earlier than I need to so I can have my daily 3 shits before I go to work.  Cunt of a does though

[Spy Bee]

Ya have it for years now.  I'm not too bad at the moment and am careful with diet, barely drink anymore either.  I normally get up in the morning an hour earlier than I need to so I can have my daily 3 shits before I go to work.  Cunt of a does though

I hear ya!

[Dr Nowt]

I’ve been on the VSL intermittently for a couple of years now. It’s good stuff, off the scale in comparison to the strength of other probiotics I’d been using for 10-15 years. Looking after the “microbiome” is becoming quite trendy in alternative healthcare circles nowadays, but anything which helps gut health and motility is okay by me. I personally find problems in that area disproportionately incapacitating compared to my other ailments.

 

As I’ve no doubt mentioned before, I have regular courses of numerous highly toxic IV antibiotics which wipe all the bacteria out in my body, healthy or otherwise, and use the above to sort myself out over the month or so following when I’m just a drained, barren wasteland. Particularly my stomach etc is always in a terrible state immediately afterwards, and the VSL accelerates recovery times in my experience.

 

Have had chronic digestive problems my whole life, can’t eat a thing without munching a load of pancreatic enzyme replacement capsules, but in the past couple of months they’ve hugely intensified in significance and following a camera up the ringpiece I’m told I now have as yet unspecified colitis.

 

Waiting on the histology report from biopsies taken to let me know if there’s anything malignant to worry about - am at an increased risk of bowel cancer - if was just an acute flare-up caused by the crazy problems which left me half an hour from major bowel surgery and months of recovery in ICU, with an anaesthetist literally calling outside my door for me to go down, or a new fun thing to be permanently assimilated into the daily regime.

 

Haven’t shit myself anywhere, lately, but did have dozens of people on a ward knowing the precise ins and outs of my arsehole for weeks, and I’m told high-fiving each other when the mud-dropping began again in earnest.

 

My first words post-levee breaking, to the cool as fuck senior sister who came in to wheel me off to theatre, were “I’d give it five minutes before going in there if I was you. If you could let the surgeon know I won’t require my theatre appointment and felt it apt to call the new arrival Donald, I’d be most grateful.”

 

I looked like someone had dug up Ian Brady’s corpse and stuck Morrisey’s barnet on it by that point, so she had tears in her eyes because they were unsure whether I’d make it through the operation in the condition I was in. Either that or it was the searing nerve-gas stripping paint off the walls, instantly turning food bad and killing plants as it stretched out into the room and beyond hitting her. One or the other.

[KMD7]

I hear ya!

 

No lie in the KMD household!

[KMD7]

I’ve been on the VSL intermittently for a couple of years now. It’s good stuff, off the scale in comparison to the strength of other probiotics I’d been using for 10-15 years. Looking after the “microbiome” is becoming quite trendy in alternative healthcare circles nowadays, but anything which helps gut health and motility is okay by me. I personally find problems in that area disproportionately incapacitating compared to my other ailments.

 

As I’ve no doubt mentioned before, I have regular courses of numerous highly toxic IV antibiotics which wipe all the bacteria out in my body, healthy or otherwise, and use the above to sort myself out over the month or so following when I’m just a drained, barren wasteland. Particularly my stomach etc is always in a terrible state immediately afterwards, and the VSL accelerates recovery times in my experience.

 

Have had chronic digestive problems my whole life, can’t eat a thing without munching a load of pancreatic enzyme replacement capsules, but in the past couple of months they’ve hugely intensified in significance and following a camera up the ringpiece I’m told I now have as yet unspecified colitis.

 

Waiting on the histology report from biopsies taken to let me know if there’s anything malignant to worry about - am at an increased risk of bowel cancer - if was just an acute flare-up caused by the crazy problems which left me half an hour from major bowel surgery and months of recovery in ICU, with an anaesthetist literally calling outside my door for me to go down, or a new fun thing to be permanently assimilated into the daily regime.

 

Haven’t shit myself anywhere, lately, but did have dozens of people on a ward knowing the precise ins and outs of my arsehole for weeks, and I’m told high-fiving each other when the mud-dropping began again in earnest.

 

My first words post-levee breaking, to the cool as fuck senior sister who came in to wheel me off to theatre, were “I’d give it five minutes before going in there if I was you. If you could let the surgeon know I won’t require my theatre appointment and felt it apt to call the new arrival Donald, I’d be most grateful.”

 

I looked like someone had dug up Ian Brady’s corpse and stuck Morrisey’s barnet on it by that point, so she had tears in her eyes because they were unsure whether I’d make it through the operation in the condition I was in. Either that or it was the searing nerve-gas stripping paint off the walls, instantly turning food bad and killing plants as it stretched out into the room and beyond hitting her. One or the other.

 

Fucking hell mate.  Didn't realize you were having it so rough.  You have my sympathies. 

 

Glad it's not AIDS xx

[Section_31]

Never knew I was in the company of so many fellow smelly bastards.

 

I see in the GF some of the smartest yet fartiest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we get stressed and shit our kecks.

[Dr Nowt]

Fucking hell mate. Didn't realize you were having it so rough. You have my sympathies.

 

Glad it's not only the AIDS xx

Edited that for you.

 

Cheers pal. It’s been fucking mental...was just a perfect storm unfortunately. Long, slow, patient recovery now, but hopefully come back from it.

 

I’ve been told my 4 consultants, who’ve each seen hundreds and hundreds of x-rays, were unanimous that they’ve never seen anything like what showed up in mine*, and it’s now going to be used for medical training. Oh, fabulous.

 

Painful as fuck too, the nurses were saying they have grown men crying their eyes out from the pain on the highest level of opioids they can give them. Guess which lucky fuck is horribly allergic to opioids and had 9 days of it with paracetamol only. I was in a delightful mood and am confident all the staff saw the most charming version of me.

 

Still, I had three different women sticking their fingers in my balloon knot and having a rummage about, so not all bad.

 

* One of Stig’s winkle pickers and an Igor Biscan fridge magnet is pretty niche fare for the small intestine, in fairness.

[Spy Bee]

It's amazing how many people have IBS when you start talking to them about it. It's just that nobody likes talking shit.

[Anny Road]

Must be awful. My sympathies.

A good shit is one of life’s greatest yet simplest of pleasures. To have that, even that, taken away is cruel.

[ZonkoVille77]

Once had to force a lass away from giving me a nosh cos I'd just sharted a few mins beforehand. I had been chasing her for near on a year. Made an excuse that I had to go blow my nose. By the time I got back from the bog, leaving my shattered kecks wrapped up in a plastic bag I was only lucky to get out of the toilet bin, she had the hump and thought I didn't fancy her and had called a cab. Bastard.

[Bjornebye]

Edited that for you.

 

Cheers pal. It’s been fucking mental...was just a perfect storm unfortunately. Long, slow, patient recovery now, but hopefully come back from it.

 

I’ve been told my 4 consultants, who’ve each seen hundreds and hundreds of x-rays, were unanimous that they’ve never seen anything like what showed up in mine*, and it’s now going to be used for medical training. Oh, fabulous.

 

Painful as fuck too, the nurses were saying they have grown men crying their eyes out from the pain on the highest level of opioids they can give them. Guess which lucky fuck is horribly allergic to opioids and had 9 days of it with paracetamol only. I was in a delightful mood and am confident all the staff saw the most charming version of me.

 

Still, I had three different women sticking their fingers in my balloon knot and having a rummage about, so not all bad.

 

* One of Stig’s winkle pickers and an Igor Biscan fridge magnet is pretty niche fare for the small intestine, in fairness.

And here was me thinking id lost it in all the commotion after tokyo popped his head over the beer garden fence. If you was hungry id have bought you some dry roasted.

[The_Goat]

Anybody else suffer/ed with this shit?

 

I got a stomach infection in Costa Rica last January and basically didn't get any better. I have finally been diagnosed with Post Infection IBS. The consultant basically said that there is nothing they can do, just take lopiramide (Imodium) and wait until your stomach sorts itself out!

 

Anyway, the reason I am sharing this, is that someone put me onto some stuff called VSL#3. It's a really powerful probiotic which helps you to equalise the good/bad bacteria in your gut.

 

I wouldn't say I am 100% healed, but I am miles better! I read a review online from a guy who had IBS for 30 or 40 years and then took VSL#3 and went into total remission.

 

Anyway, in true GF spirit, I am going to confess that this condition led to be shitting myself in the World Trade Centre in Dubai. Possibly the most traumatic experience of my life!

 

Who else has had a shit somewhere completely inappropriate?

 

Your deffo not the only person who has shit themselves in a world trade centre

[Hand Shandy]

[Nunavut Patrick]

I’ve been lucky have good bowels.

 

I’ve shat many times in the woods, it’s actially about as close to bonding with nature as you can curling out a turd in the borel forest.

 

My ex had Crohns, went through three surgeries to remove damaged and diseased bowel. Her diet would just go from one thing to another as she could manage- I made loads of potatoes latkes, then she’d be off then, went through a Mac and cheese phase, then a ramen noodle phase , etc

 

Funny she was never horny after the endoscopes or colonoscopies.

[stringvest]

I had gastroenteritis about three weeks back.  Not only did I shit the bed by semi-sleepily thinking I was squeezing a fart out, but after the necessary clean up operation thinking 'what a smart bastard I am having a mattress protector on' promptly got back into bed with freshly laundered sheets sans mattress protector and within 30 mins repeated the same diabolical mess.  Dragging the putrid thing to the skip the same day while being scared to cough wasn't great.  I was driving around with a bin bag on the seat for two days.  

 

£750 to replace the fucking thing and it won't turn up until April.  I'm now having to sleep in a bed lifetime fan has slept in.  FML.

[Nunavut Patrick]

 

I was driving around with a bin bag on the seat for two days.

 

/quote]

 

 

Stig has done that a few times; although I think he was fully functional when it came to shitting.

[Trumo]

A friend once had a problem with this, nearly losing control and having a massive accident while navigating a roundabout. He went to a garage the next day and they sorted the problem, rinsing him of a few hundred quid in the process, but after that it was fine.

 

He lives in Birmingham, by the way.