Premier League Round Up (Feb 10-12 2018)

[tlw content 16,783]

A good week for us and a bad one for United. Happy days. The gap between us is now just two points while we’ve already virtually booked our place in the last eight of the Champions League. I don’t know who I’d want in the next round but I know I don’t want it to be them. 
 
Not because they frighten me, but because I’m really enjoying how open games are in the Champions League and the last thing I want is to be bored rigid for 180 minutes as that shitbag Mourinho lines up with a back eight and has them launching balls up to Lukaku. The sooner they are out the better for all concerned. 
 
They face Sevilla next week which should be interesting as the Spaniards might be the snidiest bastards to play in this competition since Mourinho’s own Porto side back in the day. There are very few sides that could make me root for Sevilla, but United are obviously one of them. Besides, I’d quite like another crack at those bastards as we owe them a massive beating and I’m pretty sure we’d give it to them. 
 
I feel like we’re destined to face Man City though, if not in the next round then somewhere down the line. It just felt like after the 4-3 the other week that wasn’t going to be the end of the story. If we do have to play them again I’d rather it be over two legs than a one off game, as I feel we’d need the Anfield factor to beat them. 
 
City battered Leicester on Saturday as Aguero went goal crazy. De Bruyne produced some amazing assists in this game, as did Kasper Schmeichel. The next time anyone (any by ‘anyone’ I’m mostly meaning my Dad) tells me this fucker is a top keeper and would be a significant upgrade on what we have, I’ll just refer them to this game. 
 
I’m not saying he’s bad, just that he’s one of a shitload of keepers who people seem to think are better than the Mig (and by definition Karius too) when they clearly aren’t. This guy is middle of the pack and the family name and occasional ‘starfish save’ shouldn’t blind people to that. 
 
Sterling kicked things off with a left foot finish from a yard out. “You can’t question his finishing” said the commentator, referencing the sitter he missed last week. Errrr, yes you can question his finishing. He misses sitters every other week and just because he also puts plenty of them away doesn’t make him a good finisher. 
 
He’s a terrible finisher. He’s also a very talented lad with a good football brain who gets himself into some great positions, but he is fortunate enough to be playing with De Bruyne and Silva who put countless chances on a plate for him. I actually reckon I’d hit double figures playing in that team. Fuck off, I’m serious. 
 
Vardy equalised when he was played in by, erm, Otamendi (shite him) and beat the keeper with the aid of a slight deflection. It’s not fashionable to say it, but Vardy is fucking boss. He is averaging a goal every two games against the top six sides so he gets the job done in the big games. He’s like a reverse Zlatan. 


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[buster69 47]

I have to say I love Conte too. His celebration against Spain in Euro 2016 is one of my all time favourite football memories. 

 

And I'm with you on Vardy too. He's probably one of England's best players, but he won't get a sniff of a game come the World Cup because Kane will play non stop.

 

And Jonjo Shelvey would be one of England's best players if he ever got his head right. Maybe it's only playing against United that really lights the fire in him. If only Ferguson was still managing there so he could tell him to fuck off again. Those were the days...

[Trumo 16,125]

They’re as much of a threat to City’s title chances as I am to

 

To what? We are all on tenterhooks here.

[Hoddy 17]

Dave, you forgot to finish a simile - obviously something you were coming back to - about Man Utd being as much a threat to City as you are to...

 

I feel like this needs to be completed for me to get my membership money's worth. I'm very keen to find out what the punchline is.

 

Obviously, it needs to be fucking good if it's going to get anywhere near that line about Firmino fingering his bird from last week. I'm still laughing at that one now.

[The Guest 1,916]

In a way I’m glad the press officer let that continue. It should ruin whatever “prankster” career that fella thinks he’s going to have as it was completely awful.

[Dr Nowt 26,159]

Epic bantz. Depressing, witless twat.

[alles ist gut 4,665]

Dave, you forgot to finish a simile - obviously something you were coming back to - about Man Utd being as much a threat to City as you are to...

 

I feel like this needs to be completed for me to get my membership money's worth. I'm very keen to find out what the punchline is.

 

Obviously, it needs to be fucking good if it's going to get anywhere near that line about Firmino fingering his bird from last week. I'm still laughing at that one now.

 

It's "...to win Fish-O-Mania".

 

You can't have comedy gold every week.

[Paul Wright 38]

Just in case Izquirdo does something great or shit, his name in English is Left.

Would be boss if he had Lefty on his shirt.

No spell checker needed

[m0e 2,872]

Just in case Izquirdo does something great or shit, his name in English is Left.

Would be boss if he had Lefty on his shirt.

No spell checker needed

 

Nice typo!

[dave u 7,507]

To what? We are all on tenterhooks here.

 

I forgot what I was going to say so I left it and planned to go back later to finish it when I remembered.

 

Now I feel like Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction with the 'Ketchup' joke. It's had too much of a build up and couldn't possibly live up to the expectation. 

 

So I'm leaving it dangling in the wind as I feel that's best now.

[Through Ball 31]

You're right, Mesut Özil is a fucking waster. And you're right, Edinson Cavani is an absolute fraud. I'm not too sure Higuain is a fraud though..

 

Seeing Charlie Adam's attempt to reach the rebound from his own missed penalty kick, I now actually have him as the slowest player in the league, pushing Laurent Depoitre down to 2nd.

[Marcas 74]

Given the way Vardy runs, harries and chases non-stop, plus bags more than a few goals, I’m genuinely surprised he’s not been snapped up by now. Let’s face it, he’d be a better back-up to Bobby than anyone we have at the minute and he’d suit Klopp’s style to a tee....

[A_S 2,139]

You're right, Mesut Özil is a fucking waster. And you're right, Edinson Cavani is an absolute fraud. I'm not too sure Higuain is a fraud though..

 

Seeing Charlie Adam's attempt to reach the rebound from his own missed penalty kick, I now actually have him as the slowest player in the league, pushing Laurent Depoitre down to 2nd.

A compilation of Higuain's attempts on goal in cup finals (both domestic and international) would not make for pretty viewing.

[manwiththestick 5,173]

Given the way Vardy runs, harries and chases non-stop, plus bags more than a few goals, I’m genuinely surprised he’s not been snapped up by now. Let’s face it, he’d be a better back-up to Bobby than anyone we have at the minute and he’d suit Klopp’s style to a tee....

Little or no sell on value given his age, FSG would do their nut.

[rb14 1,898]

"...his new bleached blonde look fine now, but give him a couple of weeks until his roots start coming through and it looks like a pigeon has shit on his head."

 

Say what?