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Premier League Round Up (Nov 24-29 2017)

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It’s been a busy week of footy and there’s loads to get through, so I’ll get straight into it with a recap of Saturday’s games. Palace beat Stoke at Selhurst Park thanks to a last gasp winner from Big Mama.  
 
Stoke had initially broken the deadlock with a stunning individual goal from Shaqiri. Whenever, wherever, you won’t see many better goals than that... What? That's gold that is. Kinell, you're a tough crowd.
 
Loftus-Cheek levelled from close range but Shawcross should have restored Stoke’s advantage when he somehow missed from half a yard out.  That proved costly as a bit of magic from Zaha teed up Cabaye at the back stick, and although his shot hit the post it fell perfectly for Sakho to win it. Stoke’s defending on that was terrible, particularly Shawcross who was all over the place all day. 
 
Palace will get out of trouble as they’ve got too many good players and Hodgson - limited as he is - knows enough to avoid relegation. Benteke needs to start scoring though, he’s back from injury now but hasn’t found the net all season.  
 
As for Stoke, they’re going to need to sack ‘Useless’ soon. They need only look at West Brom to see the effect getting rid of a deadbeat manager can have. They have had new life breathed into them since sending Pulis on his way and they went to Wembley and drew with Spurs on Saturday. Who saw that coming? No-one. Those players must have REALLY wanted that knobhead gone.  
 
Rondon scored after just three minutes, and it was a weird one as he shrugged Sanchez aside and then scuffed a shot that rolled past Lloris in slow motion. It was met by a stunned silence, and then a second later there was a cheer from the West Brom section. The delay was no doubt a combination of the weak finish and the “wait, have we just fucking scored?” element of it.  
 
Kane equalised late on and Spurs could have won it as they had other chances, but the best opportunity fell to Rondon who couldn’t hit the target from four yards out.  
 
I see that Erik Lamela is back in the Spurs squad. I wondered what had happened to him, I just assumed he’d realised he was crap and gone off to join a boyband or become a catalogue model. He should, because he’s not a footballer, the pretty boy gobshite.  
 
United beat Brighton thanks to a late, deflected, spawn of the devil goal from that turd Ashley Young. I didn’t watch it, I mean why would I? I saw a clip on twitter of Lukaku twice kicking out at a Brighton defender though. “He’ll be in trouble for that when the FA see the video” I said to myself, before I remembered he’s no longer at Everton, he’s a Manchester United player and is now therefore above the law.  
 
Remember those horrible South African bastards in Lethal Weapon 2 who kept committing crimes and then smugly taunting Murtagh & Riggs by going “diplomatic immunity!”. That’s Man United players that is. Acting like twats on the pitch and taunting the opposition and the ref with “diplomatic immunity!”.  
 
Lukaku not getting done for that is fucking outrageous really. If he played for anyone else he’d be sitting out three games now. Fucking joke.  
 
Swansea included some fella I’ve never seen before as they drew 0-0 at home to Bournemouth. Roque Mesa is his name, and judging by his appearance, bootlegging whiskey is his game. The commentator said they signed him for £11m in the summer. He didn't say where from but I assume it was the prohibition era, as just look at him. He's like a Latino Errol Flynn. Bet you he smokes them little thin brown cigarette things.  


 

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Anyway, Ki Sun Yung somehow escaped a red card when he shoved the referee. He was trying to get to Ibe but the ref was between them so he just seemed to think “fuck it” and shoved the ref into Ibe. He then had the nerve to tell the ref to “fuck off” after he yellow carded him. Fair play to him.  

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I'm still seething about Guardiola. Fucking tit thinks he can do whatever he likes, and all the fucking hipsters who tongue his balls every week will defend him no matter what.

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I'm still seething about Guardiola. Fucking tit thinks he can do whatever he likes, and all the fucking hipsters who tongue his balls every week will defend him no matter what.

Never rated him.

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I'm still seething about Guardiola. Fucking tit thinks he can do whatever he likes, and all the fucking hipsters who tongue his balls every week will defend him no matter what.

 

You could be talking about Mourinho there...or Trump...or a load of other people

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Guest Pistonbroke

Hahaha, a very good side splitting round up. Fully agree about Moyes, they'd be deluded to keep placing any hope of survival under the fraud. Also agree about Guardiola, hate how everyone kisses his arse, it was bad enough when he was in charge of those diving, crybaby fannies at Barcelona, just seems worse at City because it's on the doorstep type thing. 

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