Should UK also Ban Smacking?

[Charles Penrose]

On board with most people here; I’ve done it three or four times with my lad who has just turned four. It’s reserved only for exceptional cases and is a distant fourth to talking to him, spending time in his room/on a naughty step or taking toys away.

 

He had a spell at about two where he would go crazy and bite and smack his mum. She’s never smacked him and I’ve got to say she gets the brunt of all of his worst behaviour. I guarantee part of that is his knowledge that if he pushes too far (and I’m not talking a mere series of little things here) then he could get a smacked bottom. He smacked his mum at soft play last week and i absolutely know he wouldn’t ever do that with me. In fact when I’ve seen him in a real tantrum he’s put his hand up to hit me and gone on to bottle it. He’s much closer to me than his mum too so it’s not like he’s walking round terrified either..

 

He’s incredibly well behaved generally, has never hit another child and is notably kind to everyone. It works for me for him to know that whilst he’s getting bigger and stronger there is a limit to what he can get away with.

[Bjornebye]

On board with most people here; I’ve done it three or four times with my lad who has just turned four. It’s reserved only for exceptional cases and is a distant fourth to talking to him, spending time in his room/on a naughty step or taking toys away.

 

He had a spell at about two where he would go crazy and bite and smack his mum. She’s never smacked him and I’ve got to say she gets the brunt of all of his worst behaviour. I guarantee part of that is his knowledge that if he pushes too far (and I’m not talking a mere series of little things here) then he could get a smacked bottom. He smacked his mum at soft play last week and i absolutely know he wouldn’t ever do that with me. In fact when I’ve seen him in a real tantrum he’s put his hand up to hit me and gone on to bottle it. He’s much closer to me than his mum too so it’s not like he’s walking round terrified either..

 

He’s incredibly well behaved generally, has never hit another child and is notably kind to everyone. It works for me for him to know that whilst he’s getting bigger and stronger there is a limit to what he can get away with.

 

 

Just wait till you walk through the door and he cleans you out and sends you the naughty step. Get him off the protein for fuck sake. 

[Strontium]

I don't view assaulting children as acceptable in this day and age. And it was always less effective on me than the withholding of privileges. So it doesn't even work.

[Pureblood]

It's barbaric in any shape or form.

[G Richards]

I’m generally uncomfortable with the concept of governmental interference in this parenting matter. I believe parents should have the right to discipline their children, and a smack, if deemed necessary, should be one of the options.

 

Of course it is open to abuse, like many things that are legal and permissible are open to abuse, but my instinct is against banning.

 

On a personal note we very rarely smacked our children when they were little. I honestly can’t remember doing it, but it must have happened once or twice - slap to the bottom, or back of the leg, that sort of thing - never in anger, and never with the sort of force that would be inappropriate. However, what we found along the way is that there are other ways to discipline the children that are more effective. Usually positive reinforcement is most effective - do this, and get this reward. That encourages the right sort of behavior in most people far more than the negative way of handling it.

 

So I’m virtually there in practice, but there’s just something that doesn’t sit right with me about the government interfering in parental freedom on this issue.

[Pureblood]

How do you smack someone not in anger?  I really struggle with that concept.

 

The word "smack" sanitizes the act somewhat.  It's violence with a shiny name. 

[Anubis]

On a personal note we very rarely smacked our children when they were little. I honestly can’t remember doing it, but it must have happened once or twice - slap to the bottom, or back of the leg, that sort of thing - never in anger, and never with the sort of force that would be inappropriate.

 

Yeah, try getting that past St. Peter. You're out, Padre. You're toast. Pointy forks await you.

[KMD7]

Smacking children seems a bit primative, and I’m not convinced that physical punishment actually works as a deterrent to poor behaviour in the majority of cases.

 

If banning it stops some fuckwit parents from abusing their children, I’m all for it.

 

It probably wont stop them though

[TheHowieLama]

Spanking has it's place -- in the bedroom.

[TheBitch]

The fuck has our Tam done this time?

[Fowlers God]

I’m curious, FG, or anyone else, what kind of things do you smack your kids for and why do you choose that rather than any other reprimand?

Regardless of the reason for smacking as I explained it’s used as a last resort when we feel as parents other tactics of parenting haven’t worked.

 

And to TK’s point. Smack is what you call it. Name it whatever you like but it in our case isn’t done out of anger. We speak to the children and let them know the reason for and then do it. Hitting out of anger is done on a whim, it’s not thought about, much like twatting someone cause they’ve pissed you off.

 

Is suppose its difficult to explain over written word but I hope I have put our view point across.

[Pureblood]

Regardless of the reason for smacking as I explained it’s used as a last resort when we feel as parents other tactics of parenting haven’t worked.

 

And to TK’s point. Smack is what you call it. Name it whatever you like but it in our case isn’t done out of anger. We speak to the children and let them know the reason for and then do it. Hitting out of anger is done on a whim, it’s not thought about, much like twatting someone cause they’ve pissed you off.

 

Is suppose its difficult to explain over written word but I hope I have put our view point across.

 

Hold on, you explain that you're about to hit them and the rationale for it and then proceed with the act?  That sounds bizarre and cruel.

[Paulie Dangerously]

It's barbaric in any shape or form.

 

 

How do you smack someone not in anger?  I really struggle with that concept.

 

The word "smack" sanitizes the act somewhat.  It's violence with a shiny name. 

 

 

Hold on, you explain that you're about to hit them and the rationale for it and then proceed with the act?  That sounds bizarre and cruel.

 

 

Trying hard to reel someone in for an argument here but no-one is biting 

[Champ]

I didnt see it like that. Maybe ‘barbaric’ is a bit extreme but otherwise I don’t disagree with anything TK’s said

[Pureblood]

Ah, I've been accused of trolling.  I shall bow out of this thread disgracefully and sleep soundly at night in the knowledge that I don't smack kids.  

[lifetime fan]

My natural instinct is that I don’t believe in ‘punishing’ children with violence - what sort of lesson does that teach them?

 

However, in reality I can see why in extreme cases parents may use it as a last resort.

 

I’d never intended to smack my own children, but having watched my niece run out into the road in front of a car because she saw her friend on the other side of the road and the fear of god it put into my brother, I could perfectly understand and accept why after he’d pulled her out of the road he gave her a smack with his open hand across the back of her leg.

 

I don’t think that should be a criminal offence and could easily see myself doing the same with my own children.

[Sputnik1]

I'll admit I had the deterrent of a smack as the punishment for my kids, as a child I was smacked when I deserved it. Unfortunately there's a very small percentage of fucking idiots that take it to abuse levels and now nobody can have that deterrent at all. Those idiots will still hit their kids because their horse lost, they had a few drinks or because it's Wednesday or something. Generally a shout was enough to bring mine into line, but it was usually a shout that reminded them if they didn't stop something they could get smacked.

 

I can totally understand those parents that do not wish to use violence against their children, I wouldn't try to tell others how to bring up their kids. 

 

I'd definitely support smacking some parents. 

 

It's often difficult for those that do not have children to fully understand why a deterrent of smacking might be needed. 

 

[Champ]

My natural instinct is that I don’t believe in ‘punishing’ children with violence - what sort of lesson does that teach them?

 

However, in reality I can see why in extreme cases parents may use it as a last resort.

 

I’d never intended to smack my own children, but having watched my niece run out into the road in front of a car because she saw her friend on the other side of the road and the fear of god it put into my brother, I could perfectly understand and accept why after he’d pulled her out of the road he gave her a smack with his open hand across the back of her leg.

 

I don’t think that should be a criminal offence and could easily see myself doing the same with my own children.

A genuine question, what was the smack for that being hauled back from in front of a car and seeing her dad’s fear hadn’t achieved?

I’m trying to understand the logic for myself

[Paul]

This is one of those issues that people feel they need to tread round on eggshells as parenting is such a personal thing. However, I think smacking kids is appalling; it’s the last resort of someone who’s lost control. Unless this “I only smack in a coolly rational way” bollocks is true, in which case it’s worse than appalling; it’s barbaric.

 

The lack of debate about parenting in this country is dangerous in my view. However, even worse is the complete absence of any education on it whatsoever. In my view, the record number of children in care right now is entirely related to the Tories ditching Sure Start centres seven years ago. They gave the most vulnerable children in society a better chance by giving their parents loads of help and support. That’s now long gone and kids are paying the price.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Ah, I've been accused of trolling.  I shall bow out of this thread disgracefully and sleep soundly at night in the knowledge that I don't smack kids.  

 

If you don't, I'll put you over my knee and smack you. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Corporal punishment at school was barbaric. All the way through school (I left in 1980) they dished it out. A three foot bamboo cane, up to six of the best over each hand. Fuck me, that use to sting. Fingers and palms were black and blue and swollen for days. Teachers who were having a hard time at home or whatever used to put more effort in deliberately to take out their anger on the pupils. Quite a few had their wrist or fingers broken by some twat of a teacher. 

 

The headmistress, Mrs Brennan was only a short arse and used to stand on a chair and jump off to cane you as otherwise she wouldn't have got any leverage to bring the cane down on your hand. that was more funny than barbaric like.  

[Fowlers God]

I am not barbaric in anyway. I love my children unconditionally. I’ll bow out now too

[TheHowieLama]

The reality is people have a more visceral reaction to this than say ensuring proper nutrition for young ones. Or bullying on social media.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

The reality is people have a more visceral reaction to this than say ensuring proper nutrition for young ones. Or bullying on social media.

 

Great point mate. Or by fucking up their children's future in one way or another, climate change and Brexit being examples. 

 

On the nutrition side, I know loads of parents who think that being a good parent is handing their children 10 notes to have a fucking McDonalds every day. Cook a meal you lazy cunts.  

[Ginny]

When you think about it, using physical force, punishment and fear to teach a kid what you deem right and wrong is pretty awful. I used to get a crack from me old fella all the time “never did me any harm” is what I used to say. Seeing a grown man or woman basically assaulting a child is wrong. It should be illegal to lay your hands forcefully on a kid regardless of whether they have been good or bad.