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Another wasted pre-season - by John Brennan


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Must we? Really? Again? Oh, go on so. To be clear, this isn’t (read, “wasn’t supposed to be”) some downtrodden piece on the new season. I’ve put my money where my mouth isn’t and had a tenner on us for the Title and (11/1) and a fiver for the European Cup (35/1). 
 
It’s my annual donation to Paddy Power’s retirement fund. And it cost me a fiver more this year, as they qualified for the European Cup, the bastards. What do you mean, I bet on us to win a competition we haven’t even qualified for? Stupid, me?
 
But, and you knew there was a big but coming (think Molby), this is all going to end in despair again, isn’t it? We say it every time: it’s the hope that gets you. So, the secret it to not have any. Except, three days out from the new season, we all do. Faith, no; hope, yes.
 
First things first. This “window” (it used to be called the close season) has been a shambles. Who is running the Club? These guys are incompetent, not quite Gillett (the best a man can get?) and Hicks (would love to hear his namesake Bill’s take on him) incompetent, but incompetent nonetheless. But we have a new Main Stand, they’ll say. 
 
What, meaning more money in their pockets? Oh and the Club shop is almost ready. Although the floor will probably fall through just before it opens. Who’s in charge of transfers at the Club? Not the CEO, Peter Moore, who took to Twitter to deny any involvement. Klopp? The receptionist? Who knows? Nobody, that’s who. The Van Dijk “saga” was humiliating, at best, a sackable offence at worst. Thing is as nobody knows who’s in charge, nobody knows who to sack.
 
We can criticize Klopp all we want. He often has too much to say for himself. He has spoken out against the home crowd on occasions. Some of his tactical decisions have been questionable. Just like some of his signings. But he’s working with cowboys and could well walk if things don’t change.
 
I think he’s taking the piss out of the Board with his statements about “new players”. Alberto Moreno was shit when he was good. If he’s the answer to our problems at left-back, what’s the fucking question? Everybody knows we’re vulnerable to crosses coming in. so it’d probably be reasonable to buy someone who knows how to stop them. Milner as a new player? In the middle of the park? Just what we needed!
 
We’re spoilt for choice up front, but that hinges on Coutinho staying. That’s probably not going to happen, is it? He wants out and Neymar’s departure has obviously opened the way to that happening. McManaman, Owen, Mascherano, Alonso, Suarez and now Coutinho. Spain’s big two have done well out of us, haven’t they?
 
Mané, Firmino and Salah playing behind a fully-fit Sturridge (thank you, I’m here all summer) is enough to make any defence sit up and notice. Add Adam to the mix when he gets back and you could easily see this team scoring goals, although the 78 (SEVENTY-EIGHT!) of last season will still be hard to overhaul.
 
The problem, of course, is not and never has been up front. It’s been at the back since Klopp got here and before that when Rodgers was in charge. Since Carra retired, basically! The last four Champions conceded 33 (Chelsea), 36 (Leicester), 32 (Chelsea) 37 (City – and they scored 102 in 2012-2013). Last season we conceded 42! 
 
So it’s not difficult to see where the problems lie. If we start next season with a back-four of Alexander-Arnold, Matip, Lovren and Moreno, we’re fucked. If Keegan’s philosophy at Newcastle was “you score three, we’ll score four”, our reality will be “we’ll score three but concede four”. Twelve clean sheets out of 38 tells its own story. You can argue the rights and wrongs of the van Dijk fee (well you can’t really, as there’s nothing right about it) but unless we strengthen at the back we’re going nowhere and when we go nowhere, our best men leave.
 
If we happen to qualify for the European Cup, we’ll have at least six huge games before Christmas and hopefully more thereafter. One of the reasons we had a decent season last year was the fewer number of games. Klopp is being told to “do more with less”, effectively.
 
This is all conjecture at the moment. If Coutinho stays by some miracle and we get van Dijk in, then things will look a lot brighter. We’re devastatingly good going forward but a lot of that hinges on Coutinho (take his 13 goals from last out of the team and Lallana’s 8 and suddenly things look a lot gloomier). 
 
We’ll know more in six weeks’ time but safe to say that Paddy Power will make money from my Title bet. Yirrip, however, could be a different matter. You just never know with this team. The bigger the night, the more they want it… “Enjoy” the new season.
 

John Brennan

@JohnAPBrennan



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I was thinking about this the other day as well, and what any of this means in the modern age, with Neymar moving for big money, and Barca circling for Coutinho, and by all accounts Dembele who has missed training with Dortmund to get a move sorted.  Those two bastard clubs can do anything they like, and they will get away with it.

 

Whether or not they get a small ban, or a miniscule fine, it doesn't matter, there's enough in reserve to see them through 5 years of transfer bans if they they want to, maybe 10.  They kidnap talent from abroad while it's still in infant phase, and there isn't a word spoken about it.

 

What does all this mean for us?

 

Well, we WILL insist on fucking around with South Americans and the Spanish.  They ALL want to end up at Bardrid eventually.  What part of that do we not understand?

 

But moreover, how long do we want with these players before we take a title shot seriously?

 

3.5 seasons we had with Mascherano, who went to Barca.

4 seasons we had with Torres, who went to Chelsea.

4 seasons we had with Suarez, who went to Barca.

5 seasons we had with Alonso, who went to Madrid.

5 seasons we've had with Coutinho....

7 seasons we had with Owen, who went to Madrid.

8 seasons we had with McManaman, who went to Madrid.

17 seasons we had with Gerrard.

17 seasons we had with Carragher.

 

Why are we crying about Coutinho possibly leaving?  Is it the 6th season when we win the title?  Why couldn't we win the title in 2013?

 

Fucking Gerrard, Coutinho, Suarez, Sturridge, Sterling.  What was wrong with winning the title in that season?

 

We didn't take the chance.  We blew our lines, and the fans played their part in that.  Too tense, too nervous, fucked it.

 

 

Nobody, nobody, apart from the grotesque state-funded cartels of Madrid and Barcelona, will have a god-given right to win their league in the top echelons of european football.  

 

YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR CHANCES WHEN THEY COME ALONG.

 

Leicester are the prime example of how to do it, and Spurs and us are the prime examples of how not to do it.

 

We've got to stop throwing a titty lip when the Spanish mafia come calling, and stop bleating about unfair this and unfair that, because all that matters is getting things right in any ONE given season, and pushing the throttle down until it won't go down any more.

 

As for this season, it's a perilous game, but if Klopp and the board pull off Van Dijk and another top player before 31 Aug then it will have been well-played overall.  

 

But for christ's sake, let's take a shit on Watford's face and get the season going.

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I was thinking about this the other day as well, and what any of this means in the modern age, with Neymar moving for big money, and Barca circling for Coutinho, and by all accounts Dembele who has missed training with Dortmund to get a move sorted.  Those two bastard clubs can do anything they like, and they will get away with it.

 

Whether or not they get a small ban, or a miniscule fine, it doesn't matter, there's enough in reserve to see them through 5 years of transfer bans if they they want to, maybe 10.  They kidnap talent from abroad while it's still in infant phase, and there isn't a word spoken about it.

 

What does all this mean for us?

 

Well, we WILL insist on fucking around with South Americans and the Spanish.  They ALL want to end up at Bardrid eventually.  What part of that do we not understand?

 

But moreover, how long do we want with these players before we take a title shot seriously?

 

3.5 seasons we had with Mascherano, who went to Barca.

4 seasons we had with Torres, who went to Chelsea.

4 seasons we had with Suarez, who went to Barca.

5 seasons we had with Alonso, who went to Madrid.

5 seasons we've had with Coutinho....

7 seasons we had with Owen, who went to Madrid.

8 seasons we had with McManaman, who went to Madrid.

17 seasons we had with Gerrard.

17 seasons we had with Carragher.

 

Why are we crying about Coutinho possibly leaving?  Is it the 6th season when we win the title?  Why couldn't we win the title in 2013?

 

Fucking Gerrard, Coutinho, Suarez, Sturridge, Sterling.  What was wrong with winning the title in that season?

 

We didn't take the chance.  We blew our lines, and the fans played their part in that.  Too tense, too nervous, fucked it.

 

 

Nobody, nobody, apart from the grotesque state-funded cartels of Madrid and Barcelona, will have a god-given right to win their league in the top echelons of european football.  

 

YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR CHANCES WHEN THEY COME ALONG.

 

Leicester are the prime example of how to do it, and Spurs and us are the prime examples of how not to do it.

 

We've got to stop throwing a titty lip when the Spanish mafia come calling, and stop bleating about unfair this and unfair that, because all that matters is getting things right in any ONE given season, and pushing the throttle down until it won't go down any more.

 

As for this season, it's a perilous game, but if Klopp and the board pull off Van Dijk and another top player before 31 Aug then it will have been well-played overall.  

 

But for christ's sake, let's take a shit on Watford's face and get the season going.

 

Excellent rantage.

 

But what are you saying, dont sign the best players we can? What if you sign a player and he develops very quickly into a very good or excellent player, say, like Coutinho has done? Do you sell him before he become to the attention of clubs like real, barcelona, city and psg?

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