The New Cricket Thread

[King Emlyn]

By the way I know less than zero about Australian politics but who on earth is that utter Bell end of a PM you lot are saddled with? What a self righteous twat he is.

[s(k)aturation]

who on earth is that utter Bell end of a PM you lot are saddled with?

 

 

I refer you to previously cited c-words.

[Jennings]

...

 

But I'd like to see all cheats in sport caught and punished.

 

Me too...except any Liverpool player diving in the box on Saturday and getting us a penalty!

[Captain Turdseye]

Anyone who took enjoyment from that could be more than reasonably classed, I think, a cunt.

*waves*

[s(k)aturation]

*waves*

 

 

Your classification wasn't required to be proved, CT.

[A_S]

It's been brutal, but I think the game will be better for it in the long run.

 

I'm not naive enough to think Cricket Australia's first (and only?) thought was not losing sponsors rather than giving a fuck about the integrity of the game, but the result might be the game attempting to clean itself up somewhat.

 

I mean, what kind of pressure will the next player caught tampering be under? Would he be certain it'll only be the joke of a sanction the ICC hands out?

 

I can see the parallel with diving in footy, to a degree. There's a feeling 'everybody' does it, it can actually have a significant effect on a game, isn't taken seriously enough by the authorities but it all boils down to it just being cheating.

 

And Vaughan and du Plessis can get to fuck. By all means get your digs in at the Aussies, as it's deserved, but please don't try and sugarcoat your own incidents of tampering while you're at it. That shit is embarrassing.

 

Anyway, more players like Mike Hussey and fewer like David Fucking Warner and this team might just start to be loved by the public again.

[Captain Turdseye]

Your classification wasn't required to be proved, CT.

[s(k)aturation]

It's been brutal, but I think the game will be better for it in the long run.

 

I'm not naive enough to think Cricket Australia's first (and only?) thought was not losing sponsors rather than giving a fuck about the integrity of the game, but the result might be the game attempting to clean itself up somewhat.

 

I mean, what kind of pressure will the next player caught tampering be under? Would he be certain it'll only be the joke of a sanction the ICC hands out?

 

I can see the parallel with diving in footy, to a degree. There's a feeling 'everybody' does it, it can actually have a significant effect on a game, isn't taken seriously enough by the authorities but it all boils down to it just being cheating.

 

And Vaughan and du Plessis can get to fuck. By all means get your digs in at the Aussies, as it's deserved, but please don't try and sugarcoat your own incidents of tampering while you're at it. That shit is embarrassing.

 

Anyway, more players like Mike Hussey and fewer like David Fucking Warner and this team might just start to be loved by the public again.

 

 

 

More importantly, Oz, does this mean we can't stick a masking tape seam on our tennis balls in the backyard anymore?

[s(k)aturation]

Anyway, more players like Mike Hussey and fewer like David Fucking Warner and this team might just start to be loved by the public again.

 

 

Mind you, in that great era, there was only one Michael Hussey gentleman.

 

No stream off your piss for the rest.

[sir roger]

By the way I know less than zero about Australian politics but who on earth is that utter Bell end of a PM you lot are saddled with? What a self righteous twat he is.

 

Friends of mine in Adelaide suggest that it is a lot harder to get him in front of a camera to talk about human rights concerns with immigrants on Nauru.

[A_S]

More importantly, Oz, does this mean we can't stick a masking tape seam on our tennis balls in the backyard anymore?

Let's not go crazy!

 

We had tape as the seam, bowling up a Lordsesque slope. One day I took it upon my 10yo self to drop the blade on the mower to carve a pitch out of Dad's nice lawn.

 

He wasn't happy.

[s(k)aturation]

Friends of mine in Adelaide suggest that it is a lot harder to get him in front of a camera to talk about human rights concerns with immigrants on Nauru.

 

 

Ah yeah, but you see he's from a single-parent upbringing... and is a subsequent hard-grind, self-made multi-millionaire, so he doesn't have to give a fuck about poor people, like he once was.  He rose above that shit.

 

His fist pumps and hoarse regalia when the gay marriage plebiscite was rubber stamped in Parliament - as if he'd just quilled the Magna Carta - were a highlight too.  Of course, that he didn't have the balls (cock or arsehole for that matter) to save poor tax payers the $160m cost of a voluntary postal vote in the first place - and that, instead, he didn't just ease a no-big-deal human right through Parliament without the all-important "will of the people" - underlines the fact that he has far more important things to do.

 

Like policing cricketing ethics.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Brought tears to my eyes that PC of Smith, tears of joy. Nothing against the Aussies but I hate the cunt.

[1892-LFCWasBorn]

Brought tears to my eyes that PC of Smith, tears of joy. Nothing against the Aussies but I hate the cunt.

 

Agreed.

 

Funny a few tears and he's getting sympathy now from all around. Poor guy. Pfffft.

 

Read some whoppers on Twitter today questioning the length of the ban etc.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Agreed.

 

Funny a few tears and he's getting sympathy now from all around. Poor guy. Pfffft.

 

Read some whoppers on Twitter today questioning the length of the ban etc.

" ahuhuhuh and my Mum "

[Red74]

Alistair Cooke could do with tampering with his bat

[Jairzinho]

Sanding a bit of it off is unlikely to help though.

[s(k)aturation]

Sanding a bit of it off is unlikely to help though.

 

 

Never know.  The space left by the bit sanded off might help him miss, rather than edge to first slip every second or third knock for sub-10.

[Ian Sea]

Mitchell Starc out injured and will miss the IPL. Almost as if he's been suspended but it's been covered up.

[TheBitch]

Shane Warne claiming it's OTT.

 

Have a rest, Shane.

[Ian Sea]

What a player Aiden Markram for South Africa looks to be. Early prediction but I reckon he'll be their next captain.

[s(k)aturation]

Shane Warne claiming it's OTT.

 

Have a rest, Shane.

 

 

You might be listening to Australia's next cricket coach, unfortunately.

[sir roger]

Shane Warne claiming it's OTT.

 

Have a rest, Shane.

 

Du Plessis has done it twice , 50% & 100% of match fee as sanctions

Atherton got fined £2k

 

He might have a point, and to be fair he was talking more about the man-handling at the airport and the feeding frenzy of the press.

[s(k)aturation]

Australia are going to be pole-axed again in this Test.  

 

3-1 will be the result.

 

Putting the "circumstances" aside, this is (well, almost) the perfect palindromic configuration - from the Ashes in England 2013 through 2015, under the fitting precursor of the downfall, Michael Clarke... to now.

 

We went from losing the Ashes 0-3 to winning them 5-0 in a matter of months, to beating SA away - and now, to getting smashed in the 3rd and 4th Test shit shows of (and losing) the Ashes in 2015, winning them back 4-0 a few months ago and then getting the shit kicked out of us by SA subsequently.

 

If we've been tampering with balls all along (which I wouldn't rule out), it has wildly fluctuating results... under sub-par leaders.

[TheBitch]

You might be listening to Australia's next cricket coach, unfortunately.

  

Du Plessis has done it twice , 50% & 100% of match fee as sanctions

Atherton got fined £2k

 

He might have a point, and to be fair he was talking more about the man-handling at the airport and the feeding frenzy of the press.

To be honest I just wanted to get in 'have a rest' which was what was said to me after about 4 overs of bowling dross.