The New Cricket Thread

[Pureblood]

1 minute ago, Pistonbroke said:

 

Most teams continue with the short stuff if they've already hit a batsman. It wasn't shithouse at all, they all do it. 

Not at 95 mph they don't.  It's a cunt's trick.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

2 minutes ago, TK421 said:

Not at 95 mph they don't.  It's a cunt's trick.

Behave. Fucking hell, are you conveniently forgetting all the fast bowlers over the years that have peppered batsmen with the short stuff? You are just carrying on with your opinion to be arsey, did you not sleep well or something? Anyway, enough has been said, best just to leave you to your bee in your bonnet. 

[Brownie]

Genuinely one of the worst takes i’ve ever heard.

 

What next, heavyweights aren’t allowed to punch? Once you get past middleweight you’re not allowed to punch, you have to have a tickle contest instead.

[Stickman]

9 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Maybe be should bowl underarm?  

Don't give them ideas 

 

 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

A load of recent bowlers who were quicker than Archer. They all used the short ball to intimidate and try to get the batsmen out. The Aussies have had Tait, Lee and Johnson who were all near or over the 100mph. Starc is just as fast as Archer on average, and has bowled quicker at the top end.  

[Vincent Vega]

Michael Holding against Brian Close in 1976, Close batting without a helmet.

 

 

 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

50 partnership up for these two, needed it. 

[Rico1304]

17 minutes ago, TK421 said:

Not at 95 mph they don't.  It's a cunt's trick.

Maybe we should ask the spinners to stop spinning it so much.  

 

I be you every single international batsmen would think you are a hysterical fanny.  It’s elite sport, if you mess up and get hit on the head from a ball that didn’t misbehave it’s your own fault.  

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Half century for Stokes, probably our most reliable batsman at the moment. 

[Mudface]

Just now, Pistonbroke said:

Half century for Stokes, probably our most reliable batsman at the moment. 

He's been excellent recently, really reigned in his attacking instincts and become a very gritty, 'proper' Test batsman. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

1 minute ago, Mudface said:

He's been excellent recently, really reigned in his attacking instincts and become a very gritty, 'proper' Test batsman. 

 

A few of our other one day specialists should take note. Buttler has batted better in this innings as well, long overdue. 

[Dougie Do'ins]

So what's considered a safe declaration score ?

[Guest Pistonbroke]

2 minutes ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

So what's considered a safe declaration score ?

 

I think we need to make sure that the Aussies would have to go for it big time to win, only giving them an outside chance. A draw is not the worst result here with 3 test matches to go, we can't afford to lose it. Probably about 67 overs left today weather permitting. Bat for another 20 overs and try to set them about 250 off the remaining 47 overs. A few early wickets and they could easily collapse again. 

[Dougie Do'ins]

2 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

 

I think we need to make sure that the Aussies would have to go for it big time to win, only giving them an outside chance. A draw is not the worst result here with 3 test matches to go, we can't afford to lose it. Probably about 67 overs left today weather permitting. Bat for another 20 overs and try to set them about 250 off the remaining 47 overs. A few early wickets and they could easily collapse again. 

I wouldn't want to give them any chance, no matter how outside it is. Most important thing is not losing. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

5 minutes ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

I wouldn't want to give them any chance, no matter how outside it is. Most important thing is not losing. 

 

Like I said, just a glimpse of an outside chance. Plus we have taken early wickets against them on a regular basis, take a few today and they wouldn't even attempt to take on a run chase imo. If they were to get bogged down trying to survive then anything can happen. 

[Pureblood]

England will take the draw knowing that Smith is unlikely to play at Headingley so that they can shithouse their way back into the series.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

TK on a mission to just post bollocks today. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

They shouldn’t use a coin to toss, they should do Rock, Sandpaper, Scissors.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Just now, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

They shouldn’t use a coin to toss, they should do Rock, Sandpaper, Scissors.

 

They should have a more skilful way to decide. A coin toss is just luck. One stump at the crease, first team to hit it gets the choice. But who would bowl the first ball at the stump? Toss a coin. 

[Pureblood]

3 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

TK on a mission to just post bollocks today. 

It's exactly what will happen.  They're never going to risk going 2-0 down with three to play.  1-0 down with Smith out of the third test would be job done.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

And then it’s time for loppity-loppity-lop, nice and gentle, over the arm.

Pop! Richie gets a six, round of applause, gentlemanly conduct, everyone thinks i’m great.

[Dougie Do'ins]

3 minutes ago, TK421 said:

It's exactly what will happen.  They're never going to risk going 2-0 down with three to play.  1-0 down with Smith out of the third test would be job done.

Is Smith confirmed as not playing ?

[Guest Pistonbroke]

2 minutes ago, TK421 said:

It's exactly what will happen.  They're never going to risk going 2-0 down with three to play.  1-0 down with Smith out of the third test would be job done.

 

It's your insistence that England are using Shit House tactics. 

[Pureblood]

1 minute ago, Dougie Do'ins said:

Is Smith confirmed as not playing ?

Cricket Australia saying that the short turnaround is "not in his favour". 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Just now, Dougie Do'ins said:

Is Smith confirmed as not playing ?

No. He will be assessed. I still have a feeling it is his arm and the concussion bit was just so they could use a concussion sub. The Aussies went into deep explanation about how players don't show concussion on the day but the next morning. Benefit of the doubt I suppose, but something smells fishy to me.