The New Cricket Thread

[sir roger]

Hadn't registered that Ian Cockbain Jr. was still at your place.

 

The Mrs used to fancy his dad when he was a decent local cricketer and paid in to the bank she worked in. Being the petty type I am pleased to report he has a financial services firm now and judging from his picture on the website he has put a bit of chunk on and his head is perfectly circular.

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20 hours ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Click above the left hand corner of your original post, a cross in a box appears, click it twice and press return. Works for me.

 

I thought you were a builder, not an IT guy?

 

 

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18 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

 

No one could ever question his talent and ability, if they did they’d almost be as big a cunt as him. 

 

But his england career should have been over for good once he started texting the opposition telling them how to get out his own Captain. 

 

You'd almost call it cheating.

 

 

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17 hours ago, rubble-rouser said:

It's really good. It's Australian but relatively balanced. I've been listening to it for a few weeks. 

 

Also, if you're searching for it it's 'The Grade Cricketer'

 

Cricket at the grass roots stage in Australia is one of the most nurturing, salt of the earth, honest, fair-minded and egalitarian things about our country.

 

It's just gets cunt-like at the elite level.

 

 

 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

23 minutes ago, skaro said:

 

I thought you were a builder, not an IT guy?

 

 

I don’t know my arse from my elbow mate, just happened upon it. It is easier the way others mentioned. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

43 minutes ago, skaro said:

 

You'd almost call it cheating.

 

 

It was imo. He had a beef with a few players within the squad so let the opposition know about things. Like Lifey said, his career should have been ended. All he likes to do these days is snipe at certain players along with Vaguhan. He was a gifted and excellent player, but his ego meant he wasn't a team player a lot of the time. 

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1 minute ago, Pistonbroke said:

It was imo. He had a beef with a few players within the squad so let the opposition know about things. Like Lifey said, his career should have been ended. All he likes to do these days is snipe at certain players along with Vaguhan. He was a gifted and excellent player, but his ego meant he wasn't a team player a lot of the time. 

 

Not that bad a bloke, I reckon, just not - as you say - suited to team sport.

 

[Total Longo]

Took my lads to OT to see Lancs v Notts in the Vitality T20 on Saturday night. Boss game (Lancs won from a position of looking goosed after Notts first 14 overs) and the most impressive thing was that it cost £12 for me and the lads. £10 for adults and a £1 each for U18's. I was driving so i couldn't buy an overpriced pint so it really wasn't an expensive night out (petrol apart) and represents great value if you are into it. Good international (or ex) players like Hales, Jennings, Maxwell, Faulkner, Vilas, Duckett, Samit Patel and Dan Christian were playing as well. 

[rubble-rouser]

27 minutes ago, Total Longo said:

Took my lads to OT to see Lancs v Notts in the Vitality T20 on Saturday night. Boss game (Lancs won from a position of looking goosed after Notts first 14 overs) and the most impressive thing was that it cost £12 for me and the lads. £10 for adults and a £1 each for U18's. I was driving so i couldn't buy an overpriced pint so it really wasn't an expensive night out (petrol apart) and represents great value if you are into it. Good international (or ex) players like Hales, Jennings, Maxwell, Faulkner, Vilas, Duckett, Samit Patel and Dan Christian were playing as well. 

I saw most of the Lancs innings. Maxwell was awesome. The T20's in London are a bit more pricey (about £30 at the Oval) but still good value compared to other sports, although I wasn't  saying that last week when Surrey v Kent was reduced  to 7 overs per side and Kent knocked off the runs in 4 overs. 

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7 hours ago, rubble-rouser said:

I saw most of the Lancs innings. Maxwell was awesome. The T20's in London are a bit more pricey (about £30 at the Oval) but still good value compared to other sports, although I wasn't  saying that last week when Surrey v Kent was reduced  to 7 overs per side and Kent knocked off the runs in 4 overs. 

 

30-quid for a County T20?  Christ.

 

[Jairzinho]

8 minutes ago, skaro said:

 

30-quid for a County T20?  Christ.

 

Yes. I was briefly back in the UK last week and fancied going to see Somerset v Surrey. Also 30 quid.

 

I didn't go.

[TheBitch]

I went to the Lancs v Worcestershire T20 match. It was £15 and predictably rained off during the second innings. Still a great couple of hours and good value at that price. 

 

Gutted that the Premier league have put us on tomorrow night as it clashes with the Yorkshire match. Cunts. 

[Vincent Vega]

I've got tickets for the T20 Roses match tomorrow, obviously booked months ago so had no idea it'd clash with one of our matches in that other sport. Tickets for this were £30 and it's a sell-out. Forecast for tomorrow however is grim, so will wait to see what it's actually like before setting off and paying train prices on the off chance that I might see a five over per side match that can start right up to 9pm.

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11 hours ago, Jairzinho said:

Yes. I was briefly back in the UK last week and fancied going to see Somerset v Surrey. Also 30 quid.

 

I didn't go.

 

Fuck that.

 

It's less than half that price here.

 

[sir roger]

2 hours ago, TheBitch said:

I went to the Lancs v Worcestershire T20 match. It was £15 and predictably rained off during the second innings. Still a great couple of hours and good value at that price. 

 

Gutted that the Premier league have put us on tomorrow night as it clashes with the Yorkshire match. Cunts. 

Assuming the weather is ok , I am planning to watch the first hour of the cricket , catch up on fast forward during half time of our game & then watch the denouement after our game ends. I am not arsed at all about the football analysis.

[lifetime fan]

£25 for the Glos V Kent T20 last night. 

 

The weather here has been crazy here lately, glorious sunshine one minute, pissing down the next so gave it a swerve. 

[Captain Howdy]

Ali replaced by Jack Leach for next test

[Guest Pistonbroke]

20 minutes ago, Captain Howdy said:

Ali replaced by Jack Leach for next test

 

I said earlier in the thread that Ali would probably be the only sacrificial lamb. Archer was already in the squad and will obviously replace the injured Anderson. Curran will probably be the squad player to miss out, which means Denly, Bairstow and Buttler will all keep their place in the starting 11. Two of those should be watching from the balcony!  

[Bjornebye]

On 08/08/2019 at 13:31, lifetime fan said:

£25 for the Glos V Kent T20 last night. 

 

The weather here has been crazy here lately, glorious sunshine one minute, pissing down the next so gave it a swerve. 

Weather has been the same up here today. An hour ago it was torrential rain. Just had to shoot out so wore a jacket. Just got in dripping with sweat and the sun is blazing 

[Captain Howdy]

49 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

 

I said earlier in the thread that Ali would probably be the only sacrificial lamb. Archer was already in the squad and will obviously replace the injured Anderson. Curran will probably be the squad player to miss out, which means Denly, Bairstow and Buttler will all keep their place in the starting 11. Two of those should be watching from the balcony!  

I agree

[sir roger]

Awkward one I suppose , I would have certainly binned Denly at least but playing devil's advocate the selectors are probably saying that if you pick a squad you feel is correct for the first test of a series you should give them more than one game to prove their worth.

[Jairzinho]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2019/aug/11/cricket-world-test-championship

 

Cricket has always had a peculiar vocabulary. The sport’s baffling use of language is part of its charm – naming a boundary fielder after a Graham Greene novel, for instance – but there have been recent additions to the lexicon I refuse to endorse. Bowlers putting “tail” on the ball – as if the word swing did not exist – or batsmen hitting it “downtown”. I hoped with the World Cup over we would have seen the end of the frankly gruesome use of “slot”, which seems to have been widely accepted as a bona fide technical term for a hittable length in limited-overs cricket. Yet there it was, leaping out of commentator’s mouths during the Edgbaston Test: “That’s right in his slot.”

 

I’m aware this kind of talk makes me sound like an absolute Victorian but I can’t help it – there is something about the combination of these words that makes me feel actively queasy. If the Lord’s Test this week involves Mitchell Starc tailing the ball into Jason Roy’s slot and Roy decides to go downtown on it, please send someone to my house immediately with smelling salts.

 

The other word that has snuck up on us with terrifying stealth is “bilaterals”. The first time I heard it I assumed people were discussing a set of muscles that England’s gym‑bunny cricketers had been honing in the weights room. It turned out this was the trendy way of talking about a two-team series. It does not seem to matter that every Test series is a bilateral one (Wisdenrecords one triangular Test tournament in 1912, but the first world war broke out two years later and no one has dared attempt it since).

 

Now cricket is implementing a brand new World Test Championship to bring fresh purpose to its pre-existing bilateral arrangements – and if that does not set your heart racing, read it again in Laura Kuenssberg’s voice. This Ashes series is the opening salvo of a two-year umbrella tournament that will climax with a Lord’s final between the top two Test sides in the world, and crown one of them the ultimate champion. (You thought the World Cup was a long old competition? You have 23 more months of this one.)

 

If you are not sure what to think about the World Test Championship, all I can say is, welcome to the club. I have not seen many people tweeting their boiling-hot take on this supposedly revolutionary development and I can only assume that is because hardly anyone has one. The whole thing feels entirely meh. Be honest, the fact that Australia went 24 points up in the WTC is not even the hundredth most interesting thing about that Edgbaston Test – it is easily beaten by the shirt number of Matthew Wade (13 – is the man daring destiny?) and the exact order of body parts Steve Smith needs to touch before he settles at the crease.

 

There are many reasons it is hard to get excited about the World Test Championship. It has one of those complicated mathematical structures that you care about only if you’re a 21st-century Fermat. I have found it hard for my mind to encompass a tournament that requires me to look further ahead than my current mortgage deal.

 

No one is convinced that the eventual winner will be the best Test side in the world because the system is such that not everyone plays each other on an equal footing. That the ICC will keep operating its world rankings system, which is arguably a better indicator of position, is another oddity.

 

And yet I cannot argue with its intentions. Cricket’s overpopulated and frankly messy sporting calendar has lost a good chunk of its meaning, not to mention its stakes, prestige and jeopardy. Test cricket is being drowned in the commercial deluge of one-day and T20 tournaments and whatever meaning is attached to the longer form of the game is under constant attack from its money-hungry boards, the very people who administer it.

 

It used to be that Test series were their own raison d’être and cricket was almost unique in that regard. Its narrative structure has not been the same as other sports’ – an annual gathering of neighbours for hemispherical bragging rights, or a mega-tournament that decides, once every four years, who is king of the world. The story of international cricket has always been more linear and long form – a continuing epic with each new encounter appended to the scroll.

 

From the Ashes, to the Caribbean tours, to India v Pakistan, it is the history between the two sides that has brought meaning to the match-ups, layering angst and nuance, pride and grudge. It is why lovers of the game are so well versed in matches from eras we were not alive to see. These are our origin stories, woven into our understanding of what it means for Michael Holding to bowl at Tony Greig or for Virat Kohli’s India to triumph in Australia.

 

Those stories grew out of a very specific context. They were an imperial legacy that gave England its lead-character importance for decades, even as other nations played, and evolved, the game better. Tradition counted. It is why many – or most – England and Australia fans care more about the result of the Ashes than any other cricketing contest.

 

I am not saying that position is wrong, just that it is not hugely progressive. As it is, India now dominates the global game in a way that is itself rewriting the sport’s narrative. A tournament that might, at least in a future iteration, elevate each competing nation to equal status can be only a good thing. There was no more encouraging or eye‑opening sight at this summer’s World Cup than the happy, passionate crowds representing all sides, from Afghanistan and New Zealand to Pakistan and Bangladesh. If the World Test Championship can bring us more of that, there’s a reason to get behind it.

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

https://www.news.com.au/sport/cricket/sledging-war-heats-up-ahead-of-second-ashes-test-at-lords/news-story/db115a67a8c42f11f03173e2e9836899

 

Sledging war heats up ahead of second Ashes Test at Lord’s

The war of words before the second Ashes Test hit fiery new heights as England issued a brutal response to an “international incident”.

 

Australia went 1-0 up in the Ashes and landed a hammer blow when it also took an early lead in the sledging stakes, but England has hit back as the war of words before the second Test escalated to fiery new levels.

While James Pattinson ripping in to Jason Roy for complaining about the stump microphone was about as testy as it got between the two sides at Edgbaston, the far more entertaining sledgefest has taken place beyond the boundary rope between two foes with a rivalry as fierce as the one on the cricket pitch.

Of course, we’re talking about the battle of the breakfast spreads — Marmite vs Vegemite.

Marmite threw the first punch by handing out free jars to spectators in Birmingham in an effort to convert Aussie fans before Vegemite took out a full-page ad in UK newspaper The Daily Mirror to ram home the fact the Aussies had demolished the hosts by 251 runs in the series opener.

 

Just as the referee was preparing to call off the fight, Marmite scrambled back off the canvas.

It retaliated with its own newspaper ad, featuring text over a yellow page with a jar of Marmite underneath. And it was done playing nice, this time hitting Australia below the belt.

 

 

“Dear Vegemite, we might not taste like Australia, but love it or hate it, we won’t be tampering with it,” the ad read.

“See you at the home of cricket. #MarmyArmy.”

[Rico1304]

The world has gone fucking mad

 

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/linthwaite-cricket-west-yorkshire-police-16713282.amp

[s(k)aturation]

On 12/08/2019 at 01:58, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

https://www.news.com.au/sport/cricket/sledging-war-heats-up-ahead-of-second-ashes-test-at-lords/news-story/db115a67a8c42f11f03173e2e9836899

 

Sledging war heats up ahead of second Ashes Test at Lord’s

The war of words before the second Ashes Test hit fiery new heights as England issued a brutal response to an “international incident”.

 

Australia went 1-0 up in the Ashes and landed a hammer blow when it also took an early lead in the sledging stakes, but England has hit back as the war of words before the second Test escalated to fiery new levels.

While James Pattinson ripping in to Jason Roy for complaining about the stump microphone was about as testy as it got between the two sides at Edgbaston, the far more entertaining sledgefest has taken place beyond the boundary rope between two foes with a rivalry as fierce as the one on the cricket pitch.

Of course, we’re talking about the battle of the breakfast spreads — Marmite vs Vegemite.

Marmite threw the first punch by handing out free jars to spectators in Birmingham in an effort to convert Aussie fans before Vegemite took out a full-page ad in UK newspaper The Daily Mirror to ram home the fact the Aussies had demolished the hosts by 251 runs in the series opener.

 

Just as the referee was preparing to call off the fight, Marmite scrambled back off the canvas.

It retaliated with its own newspaper ad, featuring text over a yellow page with a jar of Marmite underneath. And it was done playing nice, this time hitting Australia below the belt.

 

 

“Dear Vegemite, we might not taste like Australia, but love it or hate it, we won’t be tampering with it,” the ad read.

“See you at the home of cricket. #MarmyArmy.”

 

I know the lads that wrote the Vegemite ad. 

 

But the Marmite response was brilliant.