Random Predictions - Season 2017/18 Edition

[setreal]

Having seen a few doom-mongers handing the title to Pep already, I thought we could do with another one of these prediction threads. Complete with bragging rights, "told you so"-bumps and all that.

 

To kick it off:

 

Liverpool will win a cup competition.

City will be out of the title race come January.

We will sign at least two players from the Bundesliga.

Rafa will take Newcastle to Europe.

Conte will leave Chelsea (this will probably happen after the season, maybe earlier)

Mourinho will chin a reporter and/or official.

[Creator Supreme]

Citeh will win the league at a canter after spending £1bn on Messi, Neymar, and Suarez.

Liverpool will finish in the bottom 6.

Terry will become Chelski manager after Conte is sacked for fucking Abramovich's wife.

Everton will abandon Bramley Moore Dock and commence building work on their new stadium in their spiritual home...Llanfairfechan.

Mourinho will complete his transformation in to tramp by moving in to a skip in Carrington.

[Gym Beglin]

Joe Gonez will make a triumphant return and be named PFA Young Player of the Year.

 

Alonso will join our coaching team.

[3 Stacks]

Ben Arfa will sign for LFC, will instantly gain the admiration of the kop and will lead us to #19.

[Pureblood]

Firmino golden boot.

[SlugTrail]

Citeh will win the league at a canter after spending £1bn on Messi, Neymar, and Suarez.

Liverpool will finish in the bottom 6.

Terry will become Chelski manager after Conte is sacked for fucking Abramovich's wife.

Everton will abandon Bramley Moore Dock and commence building work on their new stadium in their spiritual home...Llanfairfechan.

Mourinho will complete his transformation in to tramp by moving in to a skip in Carrington.

you are an arsenal Wenger and I claim my £5

[Creator Supreme]

you are an arsenal Wenger and I claim my £5

I did not see that!

[Tj hooker]

Citeh will win the league at a canter after spending £1bn on Messi, Neymar, and Suarez.

Liverpool will finish in the bottom 6.

Terry will become Chelski manager after Conte is sacked for fucking Abramovich's wife.

Everton will abandon Bramley Moore Dock and commence building work on their new stadium in their spiritual home...Llanfairfechan.

Mourinho will complete his transformation in to tramp by moving in to a skip in Carrington.

Repped for spelling Llanfairfechan right

[Creator Supreme]

Repped for spelling Llanfairfechan right

I've been to North Wales too many times to get it wrong mate.

[G Richards]

Liverpool to be in the top four in the league for goals conceded and goals scored.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

United will underperform. The diminutive Portuguese will blame someone else.

[chacha shakoor]

Arsene Wenger will become a player/manager, bang in 30 goals and lead Arsenal to fourth

 

Mourinho well perform auto fellatio during a game

 

Rafa will release a video manual explaining his hand signals

 

We will do the quadruple

 

Firmino will get a decent hair cut

[setreal]

Arsene Wenger will become a player/manager, bang in 30 goals and lead Arsenal to fourth

 

Mourinho well perform auto fellatio during a game

 

Rafa will release a video manual explaining his hand signals

 

We will do the quadruple

 

Firmino will get a decent hair cut

 

Now you're just being silly.

[Captain Turdseye]

Liverpool to be in the top four in the league for goals conceded and goals scored.

But we are gonna win the league, right, Rev?

[rubble-rouser]

We'll play Brighton away first game

We'll lose to Everton away but beat them 6-1 at Anfield

Chelsea will go unbeaten until December

Rafa will leave Newcastle in January

Sadio Mane will be player of the year

Huddersfield will be the new Bournemouth

Actual Bournemouth will be in a relegation scrap all season

Pulis will leave West Brom and fat Sham will take over

Bilic will be sacked by Christmas 

FSG will sell a stake of the club to far eastern investors

I'll do a sex wee in Linda's bumhole

[Rorschach08]

My prediction?  Pain.

[UnwelcomeinPeru]

Shortly before the Cretaceous–Paleogene event that caused the mass extinction of the dinosaurs, an advanced reptilian race left Earth in a fleet of spaceships. In season 2017/18 they will return to reclaim the planet, putting our fullback issues into some welcome perspective. 

[Bjornebye]

Celtic will win the spl

[Chip Butty]

Everton will be top by the end of September. And nowhere by the end of January. 

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

AC Milan to win the Europa League.

 

They're spending big already. If that continues, the 25/1 available will disappear. Only Skybet offering a market at the moment. I can't register with them as it's saying I already have an account. Can't remember password and it's registered to a now defunct e-mail account so can't do a reset.

 

West Ham to get relegated.

 

We'll do better than most expect in the Champions League (subject to qualifier)

[magicrat]

We will win the Europa League next season

[Grinch]

We will win the Europa League next season

I'd imagine you'd get really good odds on that and we would become one of the favourites if we ended up in it.

 

Sent from my B1-770 using Tapatalk

[Section_31]

We won't win anything

City and Chelsea will spend big and one will win the league

Arsenal will start strong and fade away, there will be talk of binning Wenger but he will stay

A minnow will be relegated

[Thoth]

Piers Morgan will have a cardiac arrest live on good morning Britain

 

No point going on that will do to be honest

[SlugTrail]

Mourinho will put out a revolutionary new 7-2-1 formation next season when playing all the top 6 away.