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Premier League Round Up (May 5-10 2017)

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I’ll be glad when this is all over. It’s too stressful worrying about other team’s results because we can’t trust our own to handle their business, and I’m becoming increasingly resentful that a season that started so well and looked for several months like it might be a title challenge has now descended into a pitiful scrap for fourth place.
 
Hopefully we’ll get it, but at the risk of going all Roy Keane, there should be no celebrations if we do, only relief. 
 
I’m fucking annoyed about the whole thing and I’ll still feel that way even if we get fourth. We should already have Champions League football secured, but two points from our last three home games against shite teams has opened the door for Arsenal, fucking ARSENAL, to do their usual trick of somehow getting into the top four. How do they do it every year? Osmosis? 
 
Of course if we beat West Ham and Boro it won’t matter what Arsenal do, but does anyone have any real confidence we’ll do that? Not me. I fully expect us to win at West Ham and then fuck it right up against relegated Boro and have the whole country laughing at us as Everton roll over and have their bellies tickled by Arsenal on the last day and the Mancs win the Europa to make us the only team in the top six to not have Champions League next season. 
 
That’s where my mind is at right now but can you blame me? I used to think people who thought like this were just shithouse miserable bastards who always expect the worst and needed to grow a set of balls. Now? Anyone who doesn’t think that way is a fucking loon, because there’s a whole body of evidence to justify being a “Doubting Thomas”. 
 
Arsenal beating the Mancs initially looked like it was good for us, but then they did what we failed to do and beat Southampton and all of a sudden it’s not looking so good now is it? We’re relying on Stoke beating them otherwise they’re nailed on to take nine points from their remaining games and any slip up from us will be catastrophic. And Stoke have been on their summer hols for months. Hell, we even beat them. 
 
Many of us have spent most of the season laughing at Arsenal and United, but this is the danger of writing cheques our loser team can’t cover. If they don’t get top four after all this, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive any of the cunts, Klopp included. It took me months to get over that loss against Sevilla last year, but this would be so much worse. 
 
Anyway, let’s get this over with. The weekend kicked off on Friday night as West Ham ended Spurs’ title hopes. Adrian had a great game in goal for the Hammers and Lanzini popped up with the winner at the other end. 
 
It might be a bit rich coming from me, as someone who has spent years talking about “doing a Spurs” and how being chokers is in their DNA, but I didn’t like some of the shite I read about how this was “typical Spurs” and that they’ve bottled it. They’d won nine in a row to at least make the title race somewhat interesting, but you can’t expect a team to win every game they play and eventually points will be dropped. 
 
Spurs didn’t play well at West Ham but let’s face it, they were due a bad performance as they’ve been great for months. They didn’t bottle anything, they just lost a game. Now if they were to go and do what they did at the end of last season and completely implode over the next couple of weeks they’ll deserve every bit of stick that comes their way, but losing one game away at West Ham doesn’t make them bottlers. Hopefully they’ll stick it right up United this weekend and secure second spot in style.

 

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Funniest thing on MotD - Burnley game, wrestling match in the West Brom box, Burney guy goes down. The ref (think it was Mike 'Beach Ball' Jones) does that gesture they all do now to say 'no pen'. Simultaneously, the lino is waving like crazy for the pen! The useless ref then decides to give the pen, but before he can react the ball's in the net! The dopey Kevin Kilbane in his analysis gives the ref credit for playing advantage, when the reality was that he didn't have a clue what was going on and play just unfolded in front of him before he could actually make a decision! A microcosm of how fucked up modern football is.

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Spot on re Arter, dirty snide fucker, keeps doing this he will be in the Scum midfield very soon.

Also reverse prediction for me, lose to WHU and win a meaningless end of season game v Boro so we can all applaud the losers and their kids while we fish around for season ticket money.

God its miserable!!

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