Odd things you do that you wonder if anyone else does

[Bjornebye]

8 hours ago, General Dryness said:

So did I until I got an ear infection and went deaf in one ear for a month. 

Don't use the same one you scratch your arse with ..... 

[General Dryness]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Don't use the same one you scratch your arse with ..... 

I scratch my arse with your birds cock.

 

Just be careful sticking sharp objects in your ear mate.

[Clem H Fandango]

remember some idiot i worked with years ago that told some office lass that he could self-felate.

 

needless to say, she told everyone in the building.

[stringvest]

16 minutes ago, Clem H Fandango said:

remember some idiot i worked with years ago that told some office lass that he could self-felate.

 

needless to say, she told everyone in the building.

I find that unspeakably hard to swallow

[Bjornebye]

18 minutes ago, Clem H Fandango said:

remember some idiot i worked with years ago that told some office lass that he could self-felate.

 

needless to say, she told everyone in the building.

Well, can you? 

[VladimirIlyich]

19 minutes ago, Clem H Fandango said:

remember some idiot i worked with years ago that told some office lass that he could self-felate.

 

needless to say, she told everyone in the building.

The birds he must have had after that!

[Clem H Fandango]

2 minutes ago, stringvest said:

I find that unspeakably hard to swallow

I used to ask him if he did yoga.

 

I had to admire his dedication, must've taken years of stretching to perform such a trick. lets face it, there was no way a lass was ever going to suck him off..ever.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Move along, nothing to see here.

 

 

[General Dryness]

9 hours ago, Clem H Fandango said:

remember some idiot i worked with years ago that told some office lass that he could self-felate.

 

needless to say, she told everyone in the building.

Lying cunt.

 

If he was telling the truth there's no way he'd ever have left his house to go to work.

[Stouffer]

Does anyone else instantly think the second that the car radio loses signal; "nuclear holocaust"?

[redinblack]

On 20/05/2021 at 22:33, General Dryness said:

Lying cunt.

 

If he was telling the truth there's no way he'd ever have left his house to go to work.

As Bill Hicks said....."if guys could suck their own cocks you ladies would all be sat next to empty seats......looking at an empty stage"

[Pete]

1 hour ago, redinblack said:

As Bill Hicks said....."if guys could suck their own cocks you ladies would all be sat next to empty seats......looking at an empty stage"

In a similar vein I think it's Jasper Carrott who said why do dogs lick their own balls. Because they can.

[Elite]

I read somewhere that a person dies twice. Once when they physically die and again once their name is said for the last time. So I say aloud dead relatives names or people I've known and liked.

 

 

[Trumo]

On 20/05/2021 at 22:33, General Dryness said:

Lying cunt.

 

If he was telling the truth there's no way he'd ever have left his house to go to work.

 

That's because he'd have done his back in.

[Captain Willard]

I hold my breath when reverse parking. Have done all my life. 40 years of driving now. Don’t know why 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

I pretend I'm in a Western gunfight when I boil the kettle, me vs it. When it clicks, that's the draw. I've never lost yet.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Whenever I see a magpie I trace three triangles with my thumb and then trace 3 crosses.

 

Tautriadelta.

[DalyanPete]

10 hours ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

I pretend I'm in a Western gunfight when I boil the kettle, me vs it. When it clicks, that's the draw. I've never lost yet.

So funny 

[YorkshireRed]

I tell my youngest, before he sets off to school, every morning I can to; “watch out for scoundrels, watch out for traffic, and to watch out for traffic driven by scoundrels”. 
 

If ever forgot to do this I would struggle a lot. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

23 hours ago, Elite said:

I read somewhere that a person dies twice. Once when they physically die and again once their name is said for the last time. So I say aloud dead relatives names or people I've known and liked.

 

 

From now on I'm never going to mention... a person who repairs cottage roofs with dried grass.

[Remmie]

On 21/05/2022 at 12:12, Elite said:

I read somewhere that a person dies twice. Once when they physically die and again once their name is said for the last time. So I say aloud dead relatives names or people I've known and liked.

 

 

Sounds very game of thrones-esque