The first girl you ever properly fancied.

[Kevin D]

Cheerleader?

Yeah, her name was Louise.

 

She looked a lot like Rachel Stevens, from Sclub 7, who I used to be utterly obsessed with for years.

[Kevin D]

Nicola Palmer, she was in the year above me at primary school, I used to go bright red when anyone even mentioned her name.

I never made it as far as speaking to her.

That's class.

 

Did people deliberately bring her up, just to watch your face turn?

[littletedwest]

The first girl I ever went out with properly was called Deidre Gascoigne and her older brother was called Paul. We were both 14 at the time. I spent ages plucking up the courage to ask her out as I thought she'd knock me back. I was pleasantly surprised when she said yes and kissed me, it was like walking on air and all that stuff. Didn't last long though, I tried to get my hand down her pants to finger her, she slapped my face and then binned me. Her older brother who was about 20 also tried to kick me in the nuts the next time our paths crossed, good job I could run fast. Never listen to your older brothers was what I learnt from that lesson, their advice on what women wanted was pretty fucking shit, although they did stop Paul from rearranging my nuts. I met Deidre a few years later whilst on leave from the Army, she said she still fancied me, even more since we had both grown up, but she could never forgive me for what I did. Her older brother Paul died due to a drugs overdose which more or less ruined their whole family, weird what life has in store for us all.

 

Still not sure what you did wrong think every young lad tries that?

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Still not sure what you did wrong think every young lad tries that?

 

Girls were a lot more frigid in the 70's mate. 

[RedKnight]

Buffy was boss!

 

Well it was when I was in school anyway. Sexy ladies and monsters. Giddy up. I tried watching it a few years ago and it wasn't the same.

 

I still keep in touch with a lad who has a Buffy poster on his wall. He also wears a Pokemon hat to work. 30 in May. I'd love to be able to laugh at him but I'm a sad cunt too

 

Buffy is a great TV show, one of the best of the '90s.

[Tony Moanero]

I still keep in touch with a lad who has a Buffy poster on his wall. He also wears a Pokemon hat to work. 30 in May. I'd love to be able to laugh at him but I'm a sad cunt too

Examples of your sad cuntedness, please.

[Adebisi]

Buffy is a great TV show, one of the best of the '90s.

I still think quite highly of seasons 2-3 but it dipped a lot when they started going to college for me, even if there was some classic episodes in the later seasons. I think it's one of the few shows I can think of where 99% of the characters remain likeable throughout the entire show. I was bummed out when I went back to watch it and it didn't do much for me. It was one of my favourites from my school days. 

 

Surprised we haven't got a Netflix reboot yet. 

[Strontium]

Still not sure what you did wrong think every young lad tries that?

 

Every lad tries to finger a 14 year old girl?

 

Are you Adam Johnson?

[Mook]

That's class.

 

Did people deliberately bring her up, just to watch your face turn?

One of my teachers mentioned her once and everybody clocked on after that, it was a nightmare.

[Adebisi]

Examples of your sad cuntedness, please.

-The collecting/hoarding of comics,

-I add myself as a certain German when playing footy games (and do interviews in my head while having a plop or waiting for a game to load)

-I bought an iron-on badge of Bart Simpsons pulling a moonie the other day and plan to put it on a denim jacket,

-I've got this text based wrestling game where you book the matches and winners despite not really watching wrestling anymore  

 

Probably loads more that I can really think of that just seem normal to me. Not sure if sad cunt or on the spectrum tbh. Most likely both. 

[RedKnight]

I still think quite highly of seasons 2-3 but it dipped a lot when they started going to college for me, even if there was some classic episodes in the later seasons. I think it's one of the few shows I can think of where 99% of the characters remain likeable throughout the entire show. I was bummed out when I went back to watch it and it didn't do much for me. It was one of my favourites from my school days. 

 

Surprised we haven't got a Netflix reboot yet. 

 

Yeah it definitely lost something when they went to college but that happens to a lot of shows that start off in a high school setting. Seasons two and three are golden TV though. Once they changed networks, and it became a little more 'adult' in content, it definitely lost something but we still got some classics like Hush and Once More with Feeling.

[littletedwest]

Every lad tries to finger a 14 year old girl?Are you Adam Johnson?

I'm 36 now so obviously not but when I was 14 I got more slaps than a shit boxer

[razor]

A beautiful young girl from school.

 

And whatever happened to her?

 

Reader, I married her...

[Anubis]

Buffy was boss!

 

Well it was when I was in school anyway. Sexy ladies and monsters. Giddy up. I tried watching it a few years ago and it wasn't the same.

 

I still keep in touch with a lad who has a Buffy poster on his wall. He also wears a Pokemon hat to work. 30 in May. I'd love to be able to laugh at him but I'm a sad cunt too

Buffy was fucking ace. Ignore him. Navy boy. Nuff said....

 

As for first girl, I honestly can't recall one at primary school. I think I was more in love with Erin Gray who played Wilma Deering in Buck Rodgers In The 25th Century. Highly attainable....

[Kevin D]

Yeah it definitely lost something when they went to college but that happens to a lot of shows that start off in a high school setting. Seasons two and three are golden TV though. Once they changed networks, and it became a little more 'adult' in content, it definitely lost something but we still got some classics like Hush and Once More with Feeling.

The body.

[razor]

I had no money and I was in school and all I seemed to do with my spare time was play footy on the field by her house with my younger brothers. Her mate said a few weeks later "Sophie has a car, goes the pub every weekend and has loads of older men fancying her, why would she be interested in you?"

 

That is some hard-kicking reality check.  Girls can be so cruel.

 

I can picture you, with muddied knees, a football nestled under your arm, staring forlornly into the distance as Sophie skids past in her Vauxhall Astra on her way to Glastonbury with some trendy bearded hipster skinning up in the passenger seat.

[Dr Nowt]

Girl called Louisa when I was about 7. She kicked this lad right in the bollocks with the tip of her pixie boots and I can still see the look on his face now, his strangled groan was like a wheezy version of the catchphrase noise.

 

We knocked about together loads and I considered it to be an impressive score in my head, but she went to another school and years later I heard she got railed in the showers by some prematurely shaving cunt at their secondary modern.

 

It's a shit business.

[Harry Squatter]

That is some hard-kicking reality check. Girls can be so cruel.

 

I can picture you, with muddied knees, a football nestled under your arm, staring forlornly into the distance as Sophie skids past in her Vauxhall Astra on her way to Glastonbury with some trendy bearded hipster skinning up in the passenger seat.

Yep. And walked back home with the Hulk ending music playing in the background.

[Hand Shandy]

A girl in my class at secondary school. Fucking lovely she was, and still is. Never had a shot with her, and she always came across as thinking she was better than everyone else. Eventually told her best mate that, which obviously got straight back to her and resulted in her bursting into tears. She didn't speak to me for about a month, but then we finally ended up being good friends.

 

Still didn't get anywhere with her.

 

Also had the serious hots for my best friend's older sister. Used to stay round his house fairly regularly, and one night we're watching The Blue Lagoon in his room with him on the floor and me in his bed. She walks in wearing silk pyjamas, says she wants to watch it too and gets into bed with me. Provided me with wanking material for a long time did that...

 

She is also still fucking gorgeous.

[RedKnight]

A girl in my class at secondary school. Fucking lovely she was, and still is. Never had a shot with her, and she always came across as thinking she was better than everyone else. Eventually told her best mate that, which obviously got straight back to her and resulted in her bursting into tears. She didn't speak to me for about a month, but then we finally ended up being good friends.

 

Still didn't get anywhere with her.

 

Also had the serious hots for my best friend's older sister. Used to stay round his house fairly regularly, and one night we're watching The Blue Lagoon in his room with him on the floor and me in his bed. She walks in wearing silk pyjamas, says she wants to watch it too and gets into bed with me. Provided me with wanking material for a long time did that...

 

She is also still fucking gorgeous.

 

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY.

[Hand Shandy]

She was about 18 months older than us, and I was a shy 14 year old. I'm pretty sure she knew exactly what she was doing and it took all my self control not to nudge her in the back with my boner.

[jimmycase]

Haha, Alison Turner! She was in the same year as me all the way through school (primary, junior and secondary). Never looked at her really as she wasnt a raving beauty or anything. Then in about the 3rd year of secondary about 40 kids went to this outdoor centre in the Lakes. We also had a swim in the lake (it was fucking freezing) and she wore this two piece outfit (not a bikini as such) and you could see she had a decent cleavage. Even though the water was freezing I got a stalk on. Had to stay in the water for a good 5 minutes after everyone else and Alison got out!

 

Fucking lusted after her all the way through 5th year but she wasnt interested. The bitch.

[razor]

Haha, Alison Turner! She was in the same year as me all the way through school (primary, junior and secondary). Never looked at her really as she wasnt a raving beauty or anything. Then in about the 3rd year of secondary about 40 kids went to this outdoor centre in the Lakes. We also had a swim in the lake (it was fucking freezing) and she wore this two piece outfit (not a bikini as such) and you could see she had a decent cleavage. Even though the water was freezing I got a stalk on. Had to stay in the water for a good 5 minutes after everyone else and Alison got out!

 

Fucking lusted after her all the way through 5th year but she wasnt interested. The bitch.

 

Haha!

 

"Come on out, Jimmy, we're all going to roast marshmallows on the fire lying in our sleeping bags!"

 

(Turning blue) "F-f-f-f-f-five m-m-m-more min-min-min-minutes...... it's l-l-l-l-l-lovely in h-h-h-h-here....."

[Bjornebye]

Losers come second.

 

 

 

 

Winners go home and fuck the prom queen. 

[Bob]

My best mate married her about 7 years ago.