Worst holiday you've ever had?

[Mook]

Beautiful architecture & a lot of history but the people were horrible I thought, doubt I'll ever be back.

[Iceman]

Haha.

 

Some lad in my work has the same name as a Jamaican Yardie who got UK citizenship. The daft twats in US Immigration collared him each of the three times he went to Florida. The big giveaway is that he's white.

 

Funny but if you do ever visit Jamaica you'll get to see there are, in fact Jamaicans of all colours. 

[The Golden Eel]

First time I went away as a grown up I took my ex to Paris for a long weekend, the first thing we went to see was The Louvre & we sat down and had a bite to eat outside first, this street artist bloke approached us & asked us if we would like our picture drawn, we said no but he wouldn't take no for an answer so eventually I gave in & said he could draw me just so we could get rid of the cunt, he spent about half an hour doing a caricature of me that was about the standard of an 11 year old (I'm pretty competent at drawing myself so couldn't believe it when I saw the finished article), he then asked for 100 EUR for it, I offered 20 & after about 5 minutes of haggling got him down to 80 EUR (bear in mind I was a very green 21 year old at the time & not at all used to being hustled in the street). Needless to say nobody else got fuck all after that the whole weekend, anyone who approached us in the street was told to 'fuck off' in a very loud Scottish accent & I think I ended up coming home with about 200 EUR.

 

I did like Paris but the locals were arrogant cunts & the women there are extremely overrated, my ex was the best looking bird I saw all weekend there.

 

This happened to me too actually.  He drew the picture of me and my ex and he painted her in a very favourable light, also with some guff about love written on it, then he tried to hit me for 100 euro.  I literally laughed at him and eventually ended up paying him 40.  I didn't want it in the first place but she loved it obviously. 

[VladimirIlyich]

First time I went away as a grown up I took my ex to Paris for a long weekend, the first thing we went to see was The Louvre & we sat down and had a bite to eat outside first, this street artist bloke approached us & asked us if we would like our picture drawn, we said no but he wouldn't take no for an answer so eventually I gave in & said he could draw me just so we could get rid of the cunt, he spent about half an hour doing a caricature of me that was about the standard of an 11 year old (I'm pretty competent at drawing myself so couldn't believe it when I saw the finished article), he then asked for 100 EUR for it, I offered 20 & after about 5 minutes of haggling got him down to 80 EUR (bear in mind I was a very green 21 year old at the time & not at all used to being hustled in the street). Needless to say nobody else got fuck all after that the whole weekend, anyone who approached us in the street was told to 'fuck off' in a very loud Scottish accent & I think I ended up coming home with about 200 EUR.

 

I did like Paris but the locals were arrogant cunts & the women there are extremely overrated, my ex was the best looking bird I saw all weekend there.

I suspect,never having been there,that Paris is like London in that its full of cunts,and a better example of the people would be found elsewhere. I have been to Berlin several times and stayed with friends in the former East Berlin and felt much more comfortable than I did when in the West of the city. I think there is still a psychological barrier between some on either side of the former wall.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

The missus and myself have one of those caricature's in a box somewhere which was done in  Athens. It has me chasing the missus with a massive boner and her with her tits on show. The street artist who did it got no money as I threatened the cunt for doing it in this style, although we did see the funny side of it afterwards. 

[Bjornebye]

The missus and myself have one of those caricature's in a box somewhere which was done in Athens. It has me chasing the missus with a massive boner and her with her tits on show. The street artist who did it got no money as I threatened the cunt for doing it in this style, although we did see the funny side of it afterwards.

My mate had a fella doing these at his wedding a few summers back. He drew me and my bird at the time but the caricature of her turned out the soitbof my ex before her. I clocked itbas soon as I saw it and then showed it to a few mates seperately asking who they think looks like, they all said exactly the same thing right away. My bird at the time was none the wiser and she even ended up putting it above the fireplace in the dining room. Didnt have the heart or bottle to mention anything. To make things funnier her sister put a picture up on instagram over xmas that was taken in my exes room at her mums and I could see it in the background sat on top of a pile of stuff.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

My mate had a fella doing these at his wedding a few summers back. He drew me and my bird at the time but the caricature of her turned out the soitbof my ex before her. I clocked itbas soon as I saw it and then showed it to a few mates seperately asking who they think looks like, they all said exactly the same thing right away. My bird at the time was none the wiser and she even ended up putting it above the fireplace in the dining room. Didnt have the heart or bottle to mention anything. To make things funnier her sister put a picture up on instagram over xmas that was taken in my exes room at her mums and I could see it in the background sat on top of a pile of stuff.

 

Hahaha, I hope you told the bitch about it now mate. 

[Bjornebye]

Hahaha, I hope you told the bitch about it now mate.

Haha tempting but petty. I'll leave the petty shit to her and her bad karma.

[magicrat]

When I was younger, I worked with a married woman, who was in her mid thirties. She went on holiday to the Algarve with her husband and two children. When she came back, she was all smiles and said it was the best holiday she had ever had. It turned out that while her husband and kids were busy playing sports, she was shagging one of the hotel waiters. This happened at least once a day for the duration of the entire two week holiday. Dirty cow.

 

And now you're a waiter in Villamoura, Likely story ! 

[G Richards]

Growing up we were poor and didn't have family holidays. Sometimes we would have a day out, say at West Kirby, or Southport, but family holidays didn't really happen. The exception was one year when we went to Butlins in Pwhelli. I remember that was the first time I had seen a full size snooker table and it was massive!

 

Hard to say worst holiday as an adult, as you just sort of make the most of it even if it's not quite what you expected. I remember going to Tunisia with Mrs G and it was unseasonably cold and raining all week, so the beach and pool were out of the question, and that's all we were planning to do for a few days. Our daughter was really young and she was poorly too, I think it was an ear infection. Still, even then we had a couple of experiences that we might not have otherwise had. We went to the local town and saw a nurse and got a prescription for antibiotics and it did the trick. The bad weather also prompted us to venture out to the local market (think it was called a souk) and instead of eating at the hotel, we ate at some local restaurants and got into the whole bartering thing for a few touristy trinkets.

[stringvest]

Prestatyn and Abergele were the hotspots for me as a kid.  Grim as fuck.

[Tony Moanero]

We used to got to Pontins in Prestatyn. From memory, Prestatyn has a nice beach.

[bigbak]

Ibiza.  Hated the place.

 

The hotel was full of fat ugly people from Newastle on all inclusive during term time.

At night we had to listen to a group of women getting ready to go out for the evening.  Cue high heals clattering up and down.

 

Then one of them would bring a bloke back to shag noisily.

[Captain Turdseye]

Prestatyn and Abergele were the hotspots for me as a kid. Grim as fuck.

I love a bit of North Wales me. Took the kids the other year and bumped into Les Battersby in a pub in Towyn. He was hammered and propping up the bar while all the locals were slapping him on the back and telling him how much they were gonna miss him. I thought he must have been dying or something but he turned up on Celebrity Big Brother the next day.

 

Used to have loads of boss piss ups in the towns all along the coast when a couple of mates were happy to be designated drivers. We're actually thinking of booking a little week in a caravan this year with my mate and his kids. He's got another little girl due in May so there's no chance of him going abroad this year. Hopefully we'll be able to scrape the money together to do that and get to Spain or something later on in the summer.

[Rico1304]

Prestatyn and Abergele were the hotspots for me as a kid.  Grim as fuck.

My Aunty used to have the Bee Hotel in Abergele. Weird place.

[Jose Jones]

stringvest, on 10 Jan 2017 - 02:56 AM, said:

 

Prestatyn and Abergele were the hotspots for me as a kid. Grim as fuck.

It was Trearddur Bay on Anglesey every year for us because my mum's cousin had a caravan in a field next to their house there that my mum and dad slept in, and we borrowed a tent from my uncle for the kids that we pitched next to it.

 

My kids have been to Sri Lanka and snorkeling on the great barrier reef. The posh little twats.

[Rico1304]

I knew a lad who was going to Oz for 12 months. He had a big leaving do, teary farewell with his family etc. Landed in Oz and found out he had the same name and was the same age as an Irish terrorist. This was just after 9/11 and he was put straight on the next plane back.

I've not seen this bloke for a couple of years so just googled him. Turns out he's doing 3 yrs for supplying his girlfriend with a fatal dose of methadone.

[Juniper]

Egypt, Sharm El Sheikh

 

Booked it well in advance, got there just after that shark crises so we couldn't swim in the ocean until the day before we left.

 

We both very quickly got food or water poisoning so we spent most of the 10 days in bed/in the bathroom and eating crackers/biscuits - which was a shame as the food was actually nice (suspect the bug was from the water they use in the drinks even though we were avoiding ice)

 

Resort full of Russians, unpleasant and rude as fuck creatures.

 

Got ripped off by the resort doctor for some medicine as we'd used up all ours and the nearest shop was miles away (couldn't risk the trip in fear of shitting myself on the way)

 

When we did feel better in the final days we couldn't go and see the Pyramids, which was one of the main reasons we went there, as they were having an uprising so all trips to Cairo were off.

 

We were tempted to just stick some return flights on the credit card and fly home after a few days. Stuck it out in the bathroom and made it to the airport to gladly come home, unfortunately after checking in we found out that the plane from the UK hadn't left yet due to a fault so we had to sit in a tiny airport lounge for the next 10/11 hours with no money left to buy any food as we'd spent the last cash on souvenirs for everyone before we got to airport.

 

Luckily the airline gave all passengers a choice of a small slice of pizza OR a small bottle of water before the plane turned up.....

 

Flight home was full of screaming babies and half the plane throwing up.

 

Still, would like to see the pyramids one day and the people there seemed ok and I loved hearing the mosques call everyone to prayer early each morning (a strange highlight) but it's very much on the swerve list for the foreseeable future.

 

Absolutely hated that holiday.

[Remmie]

I've mentioned it before but going to Hamburg on my own to watch the David Haye vs Wlad Klitschko fight. It was my first and only fight I ever attended and couldn't wait for it. Missed my flight there due to awful traffic to the airport, didn't really make any friends, the fight was absolutely atrocious in even worse weather, taking me something like 4 hours to get back in the heaviest rain I can ever remember. As I was on my todd I got harangued to fuck by prostitutes around the Reperbahn.

 

That said, the amount of travelling I've done I feel lucky to consider that the worst as I've had as I enjoyed parts of it and had a few decent nights out.

 

I very well could go back to Hamburg one day, my grandma was from there and German cities are usually great fun in my experience, but would have to be very different circumstances

[Captain Turdseye]

I met a fella from Hamburg while we were in Turkey last year. He was in the room next door but one to ours. Me and my bird ended up having a drink with him outside one night and in broken English he suggested that he could leave his window open and go and wait in the bar so that I could climb in and rattle his wife. He didn't say it in so many words but I got the impression he thought I would offer up the same for him with Mrs Turdseye. I didn't react too well to that and told him he'd better fuck off before I lost my temper. I wouldn't have minded but his missus was fat as fuck and in her early sixties.

[Bjornebye]

Egypt, Sharm El Sheikh

 

Booked it well in advance, got there just after that shark crises so we couldn't swim in the ocean until the day before we left.

 

We both very quickly got food or water poisoning so we spent most of the 10 days in bed/in the bathroom and eating crackers/biscuits - which was a shame as the food was actually nice (suspect the bug was from the water they use in the drinks even though we were avoiding ice)

 

Resort full of Russians, unpleasant and rude as fuck creatures.

 

Got ripped off by the resort doctor for some medicine as we'd used up all ours and the nearest shop was miles away (couldn't risk the trip in fear of shitting myself on the way)

 

When we did feel better in the final days we couldn't go and see the Pyramids, which was one of the main reasons we went there, as they were having an uprising so all trips to Cairo were off.

 

We were tempted to just stick some return flights on the credit card and fly home after a few days. Stuck it out in the bathroom and made it to the airport to gladly come home, unfortunately after checking in we found out that the plane from the UK hadn't left yet due to a fault so we had to sit in a tiny airport lounge for the next 10/11 hours with no money left to buy any food as we'd spent the last cash on souvenirs for everyone before we got to airport.

 

Luckily the airline gave all passengers a choice of a small slice of pizza OR a small bottle of water before the plane turned up.....

 

Flight home was full of screaming babies and half the plane throwing up.

 

Still, would like to see the pyramids one day and the people there seemed ok and I loved hearing the mosques call everyone to prayer early each morning (a strange highlight) but it's very much on the swerve list for the foreseeable future.

 

Absolutely hated that holiday.

Had a great time when I went apart from a 12 hour dose of serious food poisoning. Was 50/50 Russians vs others in our hotel until our last 3 days when loads of the cunts arrived. Rude bastards I'd have happily shot every one of them.

[General Dryness]

I met a fella from Hamburg while we were in Turkey last year. He was in the room next door but one to ours. Me and my bird ended up having a drink with him outside one night and in broken English he suggested that he could leave his window open and go and wait in the bar so that I could climb in and rattle his wife. He didn't say it in so many words but I got the impression he thought I would offer up the same for him with Mrs Turdseye. I didn't react too well to that and told him he'd better fuck off before I lost my temper. I wouldn't have minded but his missus was fat as fuck and in her early sixties.

Did he suggest you just go in boom, straight up the arse, lights off, no questions asked?

 

I reckon it was his missus that was going to the bar.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I've mentioned it before but going to Hamburg on my own to watch the David Haye vs Wlad Klitschko fight. It was my first and only fight I ever attended and couldn't wait for it. Missed my flight there due to awful traffic to the airport, didn't really make any friends, the fight was absolutely atrocious in even worse weather, taking me something like 4 hours to get back in the heaviest rain I can ever remember. As I was on my todd I got harangued to fuck by prostitutes around the Reperbahn.

 

That said, the amount of travelling I've done I feel lucky to consider that the worst as I've had as I enjoyed parts of it and had a few decent nights out.

 

I very well could go back to Hamburg one day, my grandma was from there and German cities are usually great fun in my experience, but would have to be very different circumstances

 

 

I did Hamburg on a stag about 18 months ago and had the best time there because I guess it was all about the Bantz.  Big group of reds after Klopp has just joined (ff on gf I know) we got speaking to so many different people when they found out we were from Liverpool, locals like not other stag groups (the only one we saw had the groom dressed up as a Gimp and were trying to out-bantz everyone).  Huge sing songs in pubs with a gang of old germans taking turns on the Juke Box

 

The harbour is nice but there is a clear line in the sand where the place goes from nice clean german city to grot and the actual Reperbahn is bad but the streets and bars off it are really good and substantially cheaper than the Reper itself.  I also saw a woman strip on a rotating motorbike, pour candle wax into her mouth, spit it on her tits and then put the candle out with her arse.  Don't see that every day like. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Went to Salou, and would have had a decent holiday except I was with an controlling ex so it went something like this, pretty much every day:

 

*Arrived at hotel*

Her: Give me your passport, i'll look after them.

Me: No it's grand, thanks

Her: Just give me you passport and I'll look after them both.

Me: Thanks but I'd rather just hold onto my own passport.

Her: Why won't you give me your passport.

Me: You've answered your own question there. MY passport.

Her: But why won't you give me it though.

Me: Why in the fuck would I? It's just a bloody passport, why are you so intent on getting it. Just let it go.

Her: *huffs for 2 hours*

Me: Oh ffs

 

I loved it when we were silent, lying on a beach, or on a ride in PortAventura. But the tension the rest of the time was a fucking nightmare. In fact the main reason we broke up is because we'd booked Florida for 2 weeks and the more I thought about it, the more I was sure I'd be locked up in America for murder.