Most depressing sentences heard or read

[sir roger]

Reading a television magazine and came across the following.

 

' Brexit, Trump, The England football team v Iceland , Upsetting celebrity deaths,, 2016 has been a bit of a stinker. But don't worry - Alan Carr is here to lift our spirits '

[Bjornebye]

"Hi its me Adrian Chiles and we are at wembley to watch England..........."

[Mook]

Led Zeppelin's final statement from 1980 always chokes me.

[Total Longo]

"All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."

 

Destroys me every time, and i wouldn't mind, he isn't even a human being!

[Dr Nowt]

"...and 2016 has now officially ended without Alan Sugar, Philip Green, Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan, Katie Hopkins, Jeremy Clarkson, Rupert Murdoch or Paul Dacre being added to The Grim Reaper's impressive haul for the year."

[Babb'sBurstNad]

My nan once quibbled over some white goods that came with a 10 year guarantee because "I won't get my money's worth out of that".

[Captain Turdseye]

"I'm pregnant"

[TheBitch]

"is it in?"

[Harry Squatter]

My brother worked with some fella in his late 40s who would count down every day up to his retirement of 55 every night when they got the train.

 

I work with some miserable cow who never stops complaining about where we work. She says she isn't going until she gets a payoff because after working there for 27 years and moaning every minute of the day she feels she is entitled to it.

[Dr Nowt]

"is it in?"

 

Had "What the fuck have you done to that?" once, after several days of booze and chemicals. 

 

[lifetime fan]

Had "What the fuck have you done to that?" once, after several days of booze and chemicals.

 

Similar scenario;

 

Her: Don't worry, it happens to lots of blokes.

Me: Not to me it doesn't, it must be you.

 

Stormed out of the room and went back down stairs to the party.

 

Then had her mates calling me a cunt for the rest of the night.

[littletedwest]

"...and 2016 has now officially ended without Alan Sugar, Philip Green, Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan, Katie Hopkins, Jeremy Clarkson, Rupert Murdoch or Paul Dacre being added to The Grim Reaper's impressive haul for the year."

Maybe 2016 is the empire strikes back and 2017 will be the return of the jedi with some of that list and kelvin mckenzie as well

[manwiththestick]

We're doing an office secret santa.

[Creator Supreme]

We're doing an office secret santa.

I feel your pain, although thankfully they know better than to ask me to take part now!

[Furmedge]

I've booked the week off too, so we should decorate the house.

[Guest]

I've booked the week off too, so we should decorate the house.

 

This looks like a memory in the making.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

"Suggested serving size: 2 biscuits"

[Lee909]

"Suggested serving size: 2 biscuits"

Haha

Thats why i just dont eat them.

When i was talking to a dietitian about diabetes she said you can still have the odd one or two after a meal.

 

If i cant sit there with a coffee or hot chocolate and eat at least half the pack I won't bother. Eating two is bollocks

[Trumo]

"Multi-millionaire Justin Bieber..."

[Jenson]

Sorry for standing you up*

 

 

 

(*This did not happen to me on Sunday, no way)

[Bjornebye]

Still a month of 2016 left

[Herp McDerp]

Still a month of 2016 left

:)  :)  :)   :)  :)

 

 

[SammyAftershave]

He/She/They deny any 'wrongdoing'.

[easytoslip]

On a gravestone, nobody knows I've gone. Tom Waits.

[lifetime fan]

FGM Parties.

 

Please let me leave this world.