Family Strife

[cloggypop]

The majority of people respond better to abuse than to genuine advice,

 

 

Fuck off you 100 carrot cunt

 

[lifetime fan]

Not sure on the outcome, i just didn't want to run and leave.

 

I have an arse of a family, the friction between me and my mother used to always be at boiling point over her choice of men or her treatment of my siblings (who could almost get away with murder). I have contact with only one brother. The other two I really can't be arsed with.

 

I decided to back off. I still have contact, I'm still there to pick up the pieces, as i do on a regular basis. I just don't expect anything more from her, I don't expect her to make the right decision as she inevitably won't I have to accept her for who she is, but at the same time protect myself.

 

There is a balance there, it just takes time to find it. And a fair few grey hairs.

With tits like those you can get away with a few grey hairs!

[Section_31]

I have regrouped like the Red Army at Stalingrad and have organised for an autism charity and the British Red Cross to visit my mum over the coming days (the Red Cross, sign of the times or what, cheers Cameron)

 

I am also going around at lunch with a box of Maltisers for my sister and some Barry's Northern Irish tea for my mum which she's long wanted to try. 

 

However, I will still maintain emotional distance with my wife and own home as much as possible. 

 

Cheers for the advice and sounding board, the malevolent Pugwall that is Hades notwithstanding. 

[lifetime fan]

When the fuck did you get married?

[Rico1304]

I have regrouped like the Red Army at Stalingrad and have organised for an autism charity and the British Red Cross to visit my mum over the coming days (the Red Cross, sign of the times or what, cheers Cameron)

 

I am also going around at lunch with a box of Maltisers for my sister and some Barry's Northern Irish tea for my mum which she's long wanted to try.

 

However, I will still maintain emotional distance with my wife and own home as much as possible.

 

Cheers for the advice and sounding board, the malevolent Pugwall that is Hades notwithstanding.

No doubt Hades will assume you've poisoned the tea and the 'maltesers' are in fact rabbit droppings. Capitalist pig.

[markcd]

@Section - Just read through this whole thread, and (mostly) what comes across is that you definitely aren't alone

 

my story, fwiw, is bi-polar mum and an alcoholic dad with a couple of fucked up brothers in the mix. Weirdly, it was only when I got with my now wife that I realised what a fucking state my family was. I went for lunch with her family, and I couldn't believe that they didn't call anyone a cunt, threaten to batter everyone else, they were just all really nice and normal. It was like being in some BBC sitcom, but in a really ace way.

 

anyway, long story short, moved to the other end of the country to get away from them, still feel guilt from time to time, but as they don't even bother sending my daughters birthday cards, they can all go fuck themselves.

 

Good luck with maintaining a relationship with your family, really hope it works out for you.

[Dr Nowt]

@Section - Just read through this whole thread, and (mostly) what comes across is that you definitely aren't alone

 

my story, fwiw, is bi-polar mum and an alcoholic dad with a couple of fucked up brothers in the mix. Weirdly, it was only when I got with my now wife that I realised what a fucking state my family was. I went for lunch with her family, and I couldn't believe that they didn't call anyone a cunt, threaten to batter everyone else, they were just all really nice and normal. It was like being in some BBC sitcom, but in a really ace way.

 

anyway, long story short, moved to the other end of the country to get away from them, still feel guilt from time to time, but as they don't even bother sending my daughters birthday cards, they can all go fuck themselves.

 

Good luck with maintaining a relationship with your family, really hope it works out for you.

"...but as they don't even bother sending my daughters birthday cards, they can all go fuck themselves.

 

Good luck with maintaining a relationship with your family, really hope it works out for you."

 

Not trying to be a cunt mate, but these two lines being right next to each other just got me chuckling.

[markcd]

"...but as they don't even bother sending my daughters birthday cards, they can all go fuck themselves.

 

Good luck with maintaining a relationship with your family, really hope it works out for you."

 

Not trying to be a cunt mate, but these two lines being right next to each other just got me chuckling.

 

ha ha - i know, I would rather have a 'normal' relationship with my family, but after years and years of trying, I've sort of given up on it ever happening. And, speaking personally, I am definitely better off for it, as I feel that I can just concentrate on the bits of my family that I have some sort of control over. Control isn't the right word, but you know what i mean.

 

I do still get embarrassed / angry / pissed off when my wife's family come over and bring presents and cards and cake and all that, and the girls get jack shit from any of my family. But, it is what it is, and all I can do is make sure that my girls grow up in the best possible environment, and if that means having nothing to do with my family, then so be it. 

[Section_31]

When the fuck did you get married?

 

Last October, oh and Princess Diana's dead. 

[Champ]

I have regrouped like the Red Army at Stalingrad and have organised for an autism charity and the British Red Cross to visit my mum over the coming days (the Red Cross, sign of the times or what, cheers Cameron)

 

I am also going around at lunch with a box of Maltisers for my sister and some Barry's Northern Irish tea for my mum which she's long wanted to try.

 

However, I will still maintain emotional distance with my wife and own home as much as possible.

 

Cheers for the advice and sounding board, the malevolent Pugwall that is Hades notwithstanding.

 

If my own experiences have taught me anything it is to recognise that sometimes there's very little we can do to change others but we do have choices about how we react to them...easier said than done, admittedly, but worth working on and reminding yourself, rather than being sucked into yet more nonsense.

 

You come across as being someone who would want to do the right thing and possibly, in spite of yourself, know you are in it for the long haul. Arm yourself with information and seek out whatever you can to lighten the load. All the best

[A Red]

 But, it is what it is, and all I can do is make sure that my girls grow up in the best possible environment, and if that means having nothing to do with my family, then so be it. 

This for me, help the ones that want helping and get away from the rest

[Scott_M]

My family issues seem somewhat nonsense compared to what's on here!

 

 

My Dad is retiring in August and is organising a bit retirement meal for family and friends.

 

There is a long winded story before this but at my Grandad's funeral about this time last year my sister told me about my yet unborn daughter "I don't like you, I don't like your wife, I don't care about your daughter".

 

My daughter was born a week later and, as some of you may recall, wasn't very well and spent 3 weeks in hospital & has a treatable, but life long condition, to which I've received 1 text message in 12 months asking about or hoping shes Ok.

 

She's also had little digs at my daughter in the past year which have gotten back to me accidentally, notably she's got a big head (which she doesn't)

 

Dad's in asked me to 'bury the hatchett' with my sister yesteday so we could both go to the dinner. I told him the only place I'd bury it is in the back of her skull. I don't think he was impressed. I feel guilty saying no to him and my sister has turned into such a spiteful, bitch over the past couple of years (I get the irony considering what I've put above!) I can't stand the sight of her.

[Lee909]

Dont blame you

You cant choose family but you can choose not to talk to the twats

[Hades]

Hades, not sure where you are coming from, but your recent posts on this thread seem way off.

 

Section explained a difficult family situation in the opening post. He has been, and is doing all he can to help support his mum and sister, recognizing that wider help from the relevant authorities is also needed. He has personally invested a great deal, which is what you would expect from a loving son/brother; and he has also knocked on numerous doors to try to widen the support they receive.

 

If you have any sound advice to offer with regard to where he can find some additional help, then I'm sure that would be well received. But I have to say the stuff you weighed in with seemed wide of the mark to me, and I honestly didn't understand the venom you showed towards Section. Based on what I read (so obviously there's not a lot to go on) you either have previous with him, or the issues he talked about touch close to home for you.

 

If it's the latter, please try to show some compassion, as from your own experience you should know how difficult this stuff is. Obviously if you can't manage to do that, you might be better advised to say nothing.

 

The forum is a wonderful mixture of things - having a laugh, politics, irreverence, current issues, moral issues, and all manner of other things. From time to time someone takes a risk and bares some of the anguish in their soul, be that over physical illness, bereavement, or something like what Mark posted in this thread. The forum is all the better for it.

 

Hades, your approach in this thread has prompted several people to try to call you to account. Sometimes there exists a group mentality that goes after one person a little unfairly, but don't confuse this with that. It has been fair comment.

 

Obviously it's up to you how you respond. You can dig your heels in, think on, or perhaps even offer an apology.

 

Peace and love.

I'm posting to turn tables on oppressors who think they're victims. Because their oppression is subtle and based on existing, longstanding power structures it can be masked in politeness and seem benign. The mentally ill, not having power structures and all of the English language in their favour, have to resort to crude methods of having their suffering acknowledged. By displaying a hideous directness I am trying to wake people up from their comfortable bigotry. If I go after particular targets harder than others, it's mostly because I expect more from them and think they can take it. This probably isn't the forum to do it on, as it seems to have been interpreted as an attack on egos, rather than ideas. Sorry if I have inadvertently caused hurt to anyone who isn't a oppressor, but to those who are, I hope it's given cause for a rethink. Going to take a break from the forum as my persona on here is having the opposite of the intended effect. Good luck to the posters who think beyond their ego for the marginalised, you know who you are.

[PestiRed]

My family issues seem somewhat nonsense compared to what's on here!

 

 

My Dad is retiring in August and is organising a bit retirement meal for family and friends.

 

There is a long winded story before this but at my Grandad's funeral about this time last year my sister told me about my yet unborn daughter "I don't like you, I don't like your wife, I don't care about your daughter".

 

My daughter was born a week later and, as some of you may recall, wasn't very well and spent 3 weeks in hospital & has a treatable, but life long condition, to which I've received 1 text message in 12 months asking about or hoping shes Ok.

 

She's also had little digs at my daughter in the past year which have gotten back to me accidentally, notably she's got a big head (which she doesn't)

 

Dad's in asked me to 'bury the hatchett' with my sister yesteday so we could both go to the dinner. I told him the only place I'd bury it is in the back of her skull. I don't think he was impressed. I feel guilty saying no to him and my sister has turned into such a spiteful, bitch over the past couple of years (I get the irony considering what I've put above!) I can't stand the sight of her.

All babies have big heads. Go but don't engage with your sister and ask your dad to seat you at opposite ends of the table

[Champ]

My family issues seem somewhat nonsense compared to what's on here!

 

 

My Dad is retiring in August and is organising a bit retirement meal for family and friends.

 

There is a long winded story before this but at my Grandad's funeral about this time last year my sister told me about my yet unborn daughter "I don't like you, I don't like your wife, I don't care about your daughter".

 

My daughter was born a week later and, as some of you may recall, wasn't very well and spent 3 weeks in hospital & has a treatable, but life long condition, to which I've received 1 text message in 12 months asking about or hoping shes Ok.

 

She's also had little digs at my daughter in the past year which have gotten back to me accidentally, notably she's got a big head (which she doesn't)

 

Dad's in asked me to 'bury the hatchett' with my sister yesteday so we could both go to the dinner. I told him the only place I'd bury it is in the back of her skull. I don't think he was impressed. I feel guilty saying no to him and my sister has turned into such a spiteful, bitch over the past couple of years (I get the irony considering what I've put above!) I can't stand the sight of her.

Haha! You were next on the Missing Posters thread, Paulie. Or should I say, Scott.

 

Pesti's right; it's not about you or your sister, your dad wants you both there. It's his do, make it the best you can for him

[Mook]

I'm posting to turn tables on oppressors who think they're victims. Because their oppression is subtle and based on existing, longstanding power structures it can be masked in politeness and seem benign. The mentally ill, not having power structures and all of the English language in their favour, have to resort to crude methods of having their suffering acknowledged. By displaying a hideous directness I am trying to wake people up from their comfortable bigotry. If I go after particular targets harder than others, it's mostly because I expect more from them and think they can take it. This probably isn't the forum to do it on, as it seems to have been interpreted as an attack on egos, rather than ideas. Sorry if I have inadvertently caused hurt to anyone who isn't a oppressor, but to those who are, I hope it's given cause for a rethink. Going to take a break from the forum as my persona on here is having the opposite of the intended effect. Good luck to the posters who think beyond their ego for the marginalised, you know who you are.

 

[Scott_M]

Haha! You were next on the Missing Posters thread, Paulie. Or should I say, Scott.

 

Pesti's right; it's not about you or your sister, your dad wants you both there. It's his do, make it the best you can for him

When I joined here, I had natural grey wings in my hair like Paulie from the Sopranos.

 

Now the baldness has well and truly set in, I might as well drop the persona.

 

Anyway, I've been making numerous valuable contributions on the MF and Game Of Thrones thread!

 

I know what your saying, I genuinely want to do it for my Dad & do feel guilty about but I can't, typing this & thinking about her is making my blood boil.

 

I know the big head comment is nothing really, it's more the fact we'd only had her home 5 minutes before she started and she made 1 token gesture to check how she was when she was in hospital which angers me most.

[Scott_M]

Anyway, ignore me, I didn't mean to hijack Sections thread.

[Champ]

Anyway, ignore me, I didn't mean to hijack Sections thread.

Nah, Section's had his 15 min of fame*

 

What is more important, your relationship with your dad or your anger towards your sister? Nah, do the right thing and be there on a big day for your dad.

And when you think about it, how many times have you been out with a crowd of friends/family and got home and thought, I hardly spoke to so and so...someone you like.

Stop thinking about it and make your dad very happy.

 

*He knows better than that

[Hand Shandy]

I'm posting to turn tables on oppressors who think they're victims. Because their oppression is subtle and based on existing, longstanding power structures it can be masked in politeness and seem benign. The mentally ill, not having power structures and all of the English language in their favour, have to resort to crude methods of having their suffering acknowledged. By displaying a hideous directness I am trying to wake people up from their comfortable bigotry. If I go after particular targets harder than others, it's mostly because I expect more from them and think they can take it. This probably isn't the forum to do it on, as it seems to have been interpreted as an attack on egos, rather than ideas. Sorry if I have inadvertently caused hurt to anyone who isn't a oppressor, but to those who are, I hope it's given cause for a rethink. Going to take a break from the forum as my persona on here is having the opposite of the intended effect. Good luck to the posters who think beyond their ego for the marginalised, you know who you are.

Bye.

 

Don't rush back.

[Champ]

I'm posting to turn tables on oppressors who think they're victims. Because their oppression is subtle and based on existing, longstanding power structures it can be masked in politeness and seem benign. The mentally ill, not having power structures and all of the English language in their favour, have to resort to crude methods of having their suffering acknowledged. By displaying a hideous directness I am trying to wake people up from their comfortable bigotry. If I go after particular targets harder than others, it's mostly because I expect more from them and think they can take it. This probably isn't the forum to do it on, as it seems to have been interpreted as an attack on egos, rather than ideas. Sorry if I have inadvertently caused hurt to anyone who isn't a oppressor, but to those who are, I hope it's given cause for a rethink. Going to take a break from the forum as my persona on here is having the opposite of the intended effect. Good luck to the posters who think beyond their ego for the marginalised, you know who you are.

 

What about just winding the 'persona' in a bit or was that the point of it all?

 

And, anyway, who's gonna get my back against the misogynists now? 

[Section_31]

Anyway, ignore me, I didn't mean to hijack Sections thread.

Nah fuck that, misery loves company, unload son.

[moof]

I'm posting to turn tables on oppressors who think they're victims. Because their oppression is subtle and based on existing, longstanding power structures it can be masked in politeness and seem benign. The mentally ill, not having power structures and all of the English language in their favour, have to resort to crude methods of having their suffering acknowledged. By displaying a hideous directness I am trying to wake people up from their comfortable bigotry. If I go after particular targets harder than others, it's mostly because I expect more from them and think they can take it. This probably isn't the forum to do it on, as it seems to have been interpreted as an attack on egos, rather than ideas. Sorry if I have inadvertently caused hurt to anyone who isn't a oppressor, but to those who are, I hope it's given cause for a rethink. Going to take a break from the forum as my persona on here is having the opposite of the intended effect. Good luck to the posters who think beyond their ego for the marginalised, you know who you are.

The hero this forum deserves but not the one it needs right now. Fly free sweet prince.

[Lee909]

.