Family Strife

[Rico1304]

14 minutes ago, Stouffer said:

RR?

Rabble Rouser. Never spells

my name right on the cup. 

[littletedwest]

It looks like when i inevitability get nicked I'll be able to call on a tlw legal team that'd shit on oj Simpsons.

[Kevin D]

41 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

RR is a barrister too. Best cup

of coffee I’ve ever had. 

 

Real red?

[Liverpool lad]

On 19/08/2020 at 12:05, Doctor Troy said:

The worst thing any man can do is marry a woman who lives in her family's pockets or runs everything past her Mum. You aren't marrying just her but her whole family. 

 

Hope it gets sorted out for you DS as it doesnt sound like a nice situation for you.

 

I have some experience of this. Stories for over a bevy rather than a public forum

 

The biggest indicator of potential twats is those with time on their hands.

 

Professional workshy types who as a result have a lot of time to fill with nonsense or create nonsense to occupy themselves.

 

If you have one of these pulling the strings with your partner. It is game over

 

They aren't often immune to criticism over their own miserable circumstances but feel empowered to question everyone else. A dangerous dynamic 

On 19/08/2020 at 09:59, Doctor Troy said:

Ba dum tish.

 

To take Liverpool Lads advice "these people are best avoided"

Boundaries and fucking people off early doors 

 

Set them early and you'll be fine but I appreciate it is not always an option 

 

I wish I had started this philosophy earlier but I might have taken this too far now

[Anubis]

11 hours ago, tokyojoe said:

I’d forgotten about this thread. Anyway it was her Indoor’s (hereinafter referred to as HI) birthday last month and it was arranged for some of us to go out for lunch.

 

Those of you who have seen my posts on the various Christmas threads will be familiar with Bint and Cockney Wanker. Bint is HI’s niece from the pit of hell and as the aforementioned outing was discussed between HI and Bint’s mum the latter delivered a fait accompli. Shall we invite Bint? Very rhetorical question. So as I was not present I had to look forward to the brain dead parasite’s attendance.

 

Bint turns up late. No apologies to anyone. Brings a carrier bag full of wrapped presents for HI to have the dramatic effect (which turned out be tat anyway) with the attitude which clearly said ‘aren’t you all delighted to see me’. She wanted us all to hear about Cockney Wanker’s business, a tin pot printers in Epsom. This was during the Euros and wanker was making a load of blag T-shirts etc with the 3 Lions emblem which of course is under copyright. She then continued with more trivia.

 

Anyway after eating I go up to settle the bill for all six of us. I came out of the pub and I hadn’t left a tip because I’d put it on a card. The others, bar one (guess who) leave some change on the table quite generously. They all thanked me for the meal. Well, not exactly all.

 

News we hear a few days later is that wanker had been selling his shite to quite a few of the local gippos. Seems the travelling folk weren’t too happy with the goods delivered as they broke into the company van, nicked a load of printing gear from it and threatened to twat 10 pounds of shit out of him.

 

In August another happy family gathering awaits. HI’s cousin is coming down from Yorkshire (we’re in Herts) and all are going except me. This is a mutual agreement between HI and me as Wanker and Bint will be in attendance. HI doesn’t want me getting done for splattering their blood all over the walls. The lovely couple have a habit of turning up for these occasions and never pay a fucking penny. Also the visitors from Whippet land had their engagement party to which we were ‘invited’ at a pub that used to be a haunt of mine. This event was probably about 10 years ago. Nice meal, probably about 20 or so of us. Then comes time to settle up. We all had to put our hands in our pocket. Some invite.

 

I’m not sure if it has been communicated to Cockney Wanker that he is on borrowed time with me for singing ‘sign on, sign on’ the first time I’d met the cunt. Nothing happened because it was at HI’s mum’s birthday bash and there is no way I would have caused an upset. If he is unaware he will have quite a rude awakening. HI has the sense to keep me at bay.

 

Anyway another spectacular we’ve both swerved is Bint’s 50^th later this year to celebrate such a joyous period of her not having done a day’s work in her miserable existence. She’d be so welcome in the monarchy.

 

HI knows how I feel and agrees with me. But dare we say anything to the others? What do you think?

 

Thing is it will all fucking explode one day as the considerable restraint I have shown with Bint over the years is at breaking point. Endless snidy, sarcastic digs. Unprovoked. Worst was when HI was at home KO’d due to chemo (she’s good now) and everyone was running around doing everything they could. Except Bint. She just sat on her lazy fat arse across the road and did fuck all. It had always been obvious that if she picked up with anyone he would be an utter wanker. Spot on.

 

When I do loose it (and I will one day) guess who’s fault it will be?

 

Sorry for the long post. Rant over. For now anyway.

 

You can choose your friends…...

Just shop his business to the FA. Sit back with a glass of brandy. Watch the fun and games unfold.

[Harry Squatter]

My Mrs and my daughter went out shopping in town a few weeks back and went to Marks and Spencers cafe. 

 

My parents and my sister who is their lapdog were standing right in front of them and completely ignored both of them. They hate my Mrs anyway but they haven't set eyes on my daughter since she was about 4 years old so I was surprised that they didn't even gawp at their granddaughter or even look at how she has grown up. Nothing, no reaction or anything.

 

Last time I saw my parents was at a funeral 4 years ago. My Mum had barely bothered with me for a couple of years before this and had made no attempt to have any contact with my kids. She then said that if we wanted to have a relationship the onus was firmly upon me to stay in touch and make the effort. Her logic for this was that I'd slagged them off for their lack of interest and my Mrs said the same in a letter to them. 

 

They were allegedly hurt by this even though they've got thicker skin and less arsed than Boris Johnson. I just feel that it was an excuse not to bother and save a bit of money as well as not having any demands put on their time. When they did bother with the kids it was always on their terms and would have to fit in around their social engagements.

 

 

[Bruce Spanner]

You owe your kids everything, they owe you fuck all.

[Section_31]

I always think people who don't bother with their kids/grandkids must have faulty wiring, it's one of nature's most primal instincts. Animals don't do it.

[YorkshireRed]

11 hours ago, tokyojoe said:

Also the visitors from Whippet land had their engagement party to which we were ‘invited’ at a pub that used to be a haunt of mine. This event was probably about 10 years ago. Nice meal, probably about 20 or so of us. Then comes time to settle up. We all had to put our hands in our pocket. Some invite.

Made me smile this. I’ve sat with bewilderment at many a meal out in ‘whippet land’ where someone reminds the rest that they “only had a main course” or “Yorkshire Red had a fillet steak, I only had the soup”.

 

It’s how we do things in these parts (some do anyway the ‘living up to the stereotype’ clowns).

[Champ]

3 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Made me smile this. I’ve sat with bewilderment at many a meal out in ‘whippet land’ where someone reminds the rest that they “only had a main course” or “Yorkshire Red had a fillet steak, I only had the soup”.

 

It’s how we do things in these parts (some do anyway the ‘living up to the stereotype’ clowns).

Don’t think for a minute you have the monopoly on this. Every group has one

[Preston Red]

10 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

I always think people who don't bother with their kids/grandkids must have faulty wiring, it's one of nature's most primal instincts. Animals don't do it.

100%

 

I don't have any biological kids but I have a stepson who in turn has a stepdaughter and three months ago his own kid came along.

 

To me they're family. Always will be. It's been murder for the last month though as we've not been able to see the kids with us all at different stages of either having Covid or isolating.

 

My mum's brother and his horrible fucking fat wife turned my cousin away when he pleaded for help during his heroin addiction as they were concerned as to what the neighbours would think about a druggie (their son!) living at their house. Three months later, my cousin was dead from pneumonia. Cue the world shattering grief, in public, from this pair of twats.

[Bruce Spanner]

24 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

I always think people who don't bother with their kids/grandkids must have faulty wiring, it's one of nature's most primal instincts. Animals don't do it.

 

My family on my dads side has always been strange and it's only as you get older and start asking the right questions and piecing things together you figure out just how much. 

 

I might unburdon myself at some point with the finer details, but I haven't spoken to any of them in years and have absolutley no will to and I will not lose a second of sleep over this, which amazes my wife.

 

Anyway my grandfather and grandmother divorced when my dad was young, he was a horrible bellend, she's in inveterate snob, a marrige made in heaven I'm sure you'll agree.

 

After a few years of divorce he met somebody else and completly shut out his family, having nothing to do with anybody, though later when he was broke and infirm he came crawling back making every cunts life a misery again. 

 

I was ten maybe and saw him on a market when i was with my grandmother, on my mums side who effectively raised me as her own. I walked over and said 'Hi Grandad, not seen you in ages' he was with his 'new' family and blanked me totally and literally turned his back on me without saying a word.

 

My grandmother saw how confused I was and being the worldy saint she was said, something along the lines of, 'Remeber this, this isn't what a man is. Remember how this feels and make sure you never make anybody feel that way. That's not a man, that's a cunt and he's miserable everyday of his life.'

 

First time I'd heard her swear, turns out she swore like a navvie when kids wern't around.

[Preston Red]

7 minutes ago, Champ said:

Don’t think for a minute you have the monopoly on this. Every group has one

We've had them as well that disappear early leaving £20 towards the £50 meal & drinks they've had.

 

On the flip side, me and the Mrs go out with a group of friends, that I've known since school, and wives that split the bill equally. I've no qualms with that at all. The couple who are the most well off will always ask if we're splitting the bill evenly and the answer is always the same. That seems to be a green light for them to order the steak and the most expensive wine as they're "foodies". Although, when we go to their's, the food is unreal. Swings and roundabouts I guess.

[Section_31]

13 minutes ago, Preston Red said:

100%

 

I don't have any biological kids but I have a stepson who in turn has a stepdaughter and three months ago his own kid came along.

 

To me they're family. Always will be. It's been murder for the last month though as we've not been able to see the kids with us all at different stages of either having Covid or isolating.

 

My mum's brother and his horrible fucking fat wife turned my cousin away when he pleaded for help during his heroin addiction as they were concerned as to what the neighbours would think about a druggie (their son!) living at their house. Three months later, my cousin was dead from pneumonia. Cue the world shattering grief, in public, from this pair of twats.

 

I went to see a counsellor about 10 years back and one of the things that came up was how I was with women. I had an intense, almost volcanic sensitivity to rejection and in hinsight was often beaten in my mind before I'd even thought about making a move on a woman. If a woman acted anything other than 110% interested I'd completely shut down. The ides of 'pursuing' someone was anathema.

 

He reckoned it was because my dad had left when I was two and that it'd given me a thing about loss, so I was averse to relationships. I was alone, but being alone was 'safe' he said.

 

Throughout most of my life I've always found relationships tough, I'm fine with friendships but anything deeper and I tended to set fire to it early doors.

 

I'd told him I don't remember my dad, but he reckons at age 2 I would have done. I told my mum about all this only recently and she said I did and often used to say 'where's daddy?'.

 

It's amazing the influence a parent can have on you, good and bad.

[Elite]

4 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

 

I went to see a counsellor about 10 years back and one of the things that came up was how I was with women. I had an intense, almost volcanic sensitivity to rejection and in hinsight was often beaten in my mind before I'd even thought about making a move on a woman. If a woman acted anything other than 110% interested I'd completely shut down. The ides of 'pursuing' someone was anathema.

 

He reckoned it was because my dad had left when I was two and that it'd given me a thing about loss, so I was averse to relationships. I was alone, but being alone was 'safe' he said.

 

Throughout most of my life I've always found relationships tough, I'm fine with friendships but anything deeper and I tended to set fire to it early doors.

 

I'd told him I don't remember my dad, but he reckons at age 2 I would have done. I told my mum about all this only recently and she said I did and often used to say 'where's daddy?'.

 

It's amazing the influence a parent can have on you, good and bad.

Yeah rejection is tough but it's a numbers game, I've seen lads on nights out that looked like male models getting knocked back by absolute mingers. Women tend to be absolute savages as well when knocking a bloke back, whereas a bloke will do it as sensitively as possible probably because we all know what the 'burn' feels like.

[Captain Turdseye]

1 hour ago, Bruce Spanner said:

You owe your kids everything, they owe you fuck all.

Disagree. They owe you comfortably upwards of 2000 lifts each.*
 

Going to meet a friend 90 mins walk away, wouldn’t dream of showing up in your car. Got a Saturday job just around the corner. All of a sudden they want dropping off and picking up, the millisecond before or after they’re due to start and finish. 
 

As soon as my youngest passes her test, my license is getting ripped up. They’ll drive me everywhere thank you very much.  
 

 

 

 

 

*

[YorkshireRed]

8 minutes ago, Elite said:

Women tend to be absolute savages as well when knocking a bloke back

Not always. I’ve had many a rejection that was so nicely delivered I didn’t know I’d been rejected.

 

I’ve the restraining orders and criminal convictions to prove it as well. 

[Gnasher]

55 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

You owe your kids everything, they owe you fuck all.

Hope my son doesn't read this, he owes me a tenner.

[tokyojoe]

Comedy Gold. I've just learnt that wanker and bint have acquired a boat. Fuck knows where the money came from as I've checked his firm at companies house and they appear to be insolvent. Bint can't have saved up much on her lifetime of benefits either.

 

Mentioned it before but there's a get together on Sunday where relatives from whippet land are coming down. The illustrious two will be there scrounging another free meal. No doubt what subject they will be bringing to everyones attention.

 

I am not going on Her Indoor's recomendation as she knows what will happen if I set eyes on wanker again.

 

Being a fly on the wall would be amusing watching them fight over the bill. If I was going I'd probably end up paying for the fucking lot. (Her Indoors could, but she quite rightly won't)

 

Anyway I have a history of not turning up to these wonderous events but HI when asked by her sister (bint's mum) why I wasn't going simply said that I don't want to. This is a huge improvement on the usual excuses such as:

I'm ill

Gone to f*******.

Watching f******.

Business meeting

Business conference call.

 

This is the nearest so far to the truth which is simply that I'm not having anything to do with that bone idle bitch and the brainless ignorant gobshite she has in tow.

 

Bint's 50th birthday is in October which we have both swerved. The flashpoint will of course be fucking christmas. I've no idea of the venue (covid permitting) whether it will be here or at her sisters. If the latter, easy. I simply won't go.

 

Here, and I need a ticket for a certain sporting event on boxing day so I can just fuck off for all of it.

 

Pissed off with not being allowed to say what needs to be said. i.e. the fucking truth.

 

On the boat subject, I can't help thinking of the Summer Wine sketch where Compo jumps into a boat and goes straight through the bottom of it. Can't find it on Youtube. Anyone who can, a rep awaits.

 

[Rico1304]

My smack head cousin stole my brothers trainers the other week.  

[Section_31]

My aunty died a few years back, she had five shithead kids all around my age or older. My uncle gave them a few hundred towards the funeral, which they took, but then had her cremated in secret, didn't tell us when the service was or where her ashes are scattered. 

 

The same kids used to steal off me or break my stuff deliberately pretty much throughout my entire childhood. I've genuinely never encountered as dense a field of pure scumbags as I have in my own family. 

[lifetime fan]

3 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

My smack head cousin stole my brothers trainers the other week.  

He out of prison now then? 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

I could tell a long story here suffice to say my ex is a cunt, left without a care for the kids, barely saw them unless it suited her agenda. My lad has not spoken to her in 12 years my girl about 8, she has broken them mentally they are still recovering they were 6 and 10 at the time. My missus they see as mum now although they don’t call her it. Not that they needed it but paid not 1 penny in maintenance owed about 20k in the end. The full story is beyond belief.

[VladimirIlyich]

On 25/07/2021 at 10:28, Elite said:

Yeah rejection is tough but it's a numbers game, I've seen lads on nights out that looked like male models getting knocked back by absolute mingers. Women tend to be absolute savages as well when knocking a bloke back, whereas a bloke will do it as sensitively as possible probably because we all know what the 'burn' feels like.

I think this is just a reflection of the animal kingdom in general. The way female big cats make lions,tigers,cheetahs or leopards make their male potential mates work is way too much bother a lot of the time. And they will only mate to inherit the protection of that suitor for their cubs. Apparently male Cheetahs penises are barbed so its very painful for a female Cheetah to mate with a male,which may explain the hard work involved in the first place.

[General Dryness]

2 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

I think this is just a reflection of the animal kingdom in general. The way female big cats make lions,tigers,cheetahs or leopards make their male potential mates work is way too much bother a lot of the time. And they will only mate to inherit the protection of that suitor for their cubs. Apparently male Cheetahs penises are barbed so its very painful for a female Cheetah to mate with a male,which may explain the hard work involved in the first place.

That would explain why female cheetahs are always lezzing off with each other.