Family Strife

[Anubis]

Kinell. I read this thread and feel a cunt for the odd times my parents annoy me. They've had my back in every way imaginable for my entire life. Can't imagine how some of you folks have come through all that.

Same here.

[Lee909]

Fucking hell

Some bad shit in here. Makes my old issues with my Dad seem minor.

 

I deffo best left in the past though imo. Carrying around hatred really does you no good. Dont have to talk to them but that bitterness really does fuck you up far more than it does them

[Juniper]

Sometimes these threads bring up my own issues with my Dad, but I really do think I've just made my peace with them and would rather just move on now and not give it/him much more thought. For a long time though I was angry, very angry but I think I've just simply given up on him now.

 

On the flip side reading these threads also makes me marvel at the people you've turned into and how you've coped through it all. Makes my issues seem small also but it's impressive to see how positives have come out of really fucking negative situations.

 

Hats off to all of you, much respect.

[skend04]

Going to court today and in a nutshell I have been 'told' that I either take residency of my daughter or the court/CAFCASS will put her into care. Pretty damning of her mum that. Some people don't deserve to be parents.

[Lee909]

Fucking hell

All the best,hope it all works out for you both

[Harry Squatter]

Good luck today Skend.

[The Golden Eel]

I just grew up, Cath, that's all. I went off the rails after she threw me out. I was a little knobhead who used to drink, take drugs, get arrested for petty stuff all the time and all that nonsense. It might seem like I'm shifting blame but when I think back I see it like I was just a kid and a product of my environment. I try not to think too much about that period of time because it's embarrassing and not who I really am. I honestly can't pinpoint the time my attitude changed. It was a gradual thing. I think by the time I was 20/21 I had my head screwed on and I was a functioning adult. I met Mel when I was 23 and moved down here a year later.

 

So when did you relapse?

[Einch]

Going to court today and in a nutshell I have been 'told' that I either take residency of my daughter or the court/CAFCASS will put her into care. Pretty damning of her mum that. Some people don't deserve to be parents.

 

Damn. Good luck mate.

[Einch]

Fucking hell

Some bad shit in here. Makes my old issues with my Dad seem minor.

 

I deffo best left in the past though imo. Carrying around hatred really does you no good. Dont have to talk to them but that bitterness really does fuck you up far more than it does them

 

This.

 

It took years for me to get my inner cunt under control. I still relapse from time to time but it's rare now. I just ignore it all now. Makes for other drama's as my older brother is upset that I'm clearly happy to let my cunt dad rot in his own bile. Takes more than blood to make a parent.

[Harry Squatter]

Can remember fuming about my sisters refusal to wear the bridesmaid dresses at that party. We paid nearly 200 quid each for them and the awkward twats refused to wear them even just for 2 hours then blamed me for not being clear about what was happening. The money wasted annoyed me and the fact that they never thought once that I would be annoyed but the fact that they tried blaming it on me for not reminded them pissed me off when they had absolutely no intention of doing it from day one. One of them engineered a situation by not turning up until late to avoid any shit.

[Harry Squatter]

My house got flooded about five years ago and my parents did absolutely nothing to help me out. I tried contacting them on their house phone the day it happened just to let them know but got no response. They then got back to me but offered no help, mainly because I didn't bother asking for any. My Mrs family helped us out when we had to live in a hotel for 4 months with two toddlers. Our house was a wreck and I had to do loads of jobs on it so I would have to do them when I got home from work while my Mrs and kids were still in the hotel. I also needed to to loads of overtime in work as we were skint and only got reimbursed for damage to the house and no compensation. They knew I was struggling and the stress of managing this, holding my job down and 2 kids living in a small hotel room was wrecking my head.

 

My kids photos even appeared in the Echo and Daily Mirror when the flood happened yet this still did not prompt my parents to offer any help or even just come up and see how we were. I rang them up kicking off a few days after it asking why they hadn't been in touch. My mum said "we are waiting to be informed". She also said that I sounded like I had a cob on from the messages I left when they didn't answer their house phone. I didn't want any money off them or them to drop everything at a moments notice, just the odd bit of help or concern would have been nice.

 

Instead of just sorting it out they just ignored us but she was probably embarrassed that my Mrs family had helped us and they hadn't lifted a finger. None of my brothers or sisters ever got in touch with me either.

 

Throughout the 4 months I was in a hotel my mum had been to Preston to see her mate, London and Yorkshire yet she couldn't be bothered travelling less than ten miles to see how her son was or how her grandparents were.

 

She randomly turns up a few days before Christmas. Bearing in mind that the kids hadn't even seen her since May then got a cob on when I didn't invite her in.

[Furmedge]

Father in law a cunt, never met him. Fucked his kids off when they were young. Never even attended his own mothers funeral couple years back which was probably a good thing as my missus was dreading seeing him for the first time in 30 years.

 

My mum and dad point score off each other, my mum more so. Separated two weeks after my birthday is 2005 and only communicate on family issues by text.

 

Mother in law is getting married next month, been with her fella for 20 years or so. They live down south so don't see them much apart from when her mum comes to visit, he doesn't particularly do that and I get it as we're not his side of the family. Found out few months ago his kids aren't going the wedding for no other reason than he's marrying someone else, their mum is still bitter about the divorce that happened 5 years prior to him meeting my mother in law. I've been asked to be his best man despite meeting him only a handful of times so I'm going to make sure he has a boss speech, loads of ale and I get in every photo with him so if his kids hear about his wedding they can be told he had a fucking great time and they can see my smiling grid at every opportunity.

[lifetime fan]

Col mate, you're about 3 foot tall and ginger. Natures taken care of any excuse you'll ever need.

True.

 

Tegan didn't invite her dad or her brother to the wedding, I couldn't ever imagine a scenario where I wouldn't want my dad and my brother around.

 

They're probably my two best mates.

[Einch]

My house got flooded about five years ago and my parents did absolutely nothing to help me out. I tried contacting them on their house phone the day it happened just to let them know but got no response. They then got back to me but offered no help, mainly because I didn't bother asking for any. My Mrs family helped us out when we had to live in a hotel for 4 months with two toddlers. Our house was a wreck and I had to do loads of jobs on it so I would have to do them when I got home from work while my Mrs and kids were still in the hotel. I also needed to to loads of overtime in work as we were skint and only got reimbursed for damage to the house and no compensation. They knew I was struggling and the stress of managing this, holding my job down and 2 kids living in a small hotel room was wrecking my head.

 

My kids photos even appeared in the Echo and Daily Mirror when the flood happened yet this still did not prompt my parents to offer any help or even just come up and see how we were. I rang them up kicking off a few days after it asking why they hadn't been in touch. My mum said "we are waiting to be informed". She also said that I sounded like I had a cob on from the messages I left when they didn't answer their house phone. I didn't want any money off them or them to drop everything at a moments notice, just the odd bit of help or concern would have been nice.

 

Instead of just sorting it out they just ignored us but she was probably embarrassed that my Mrs family had helped us and they hadn't lifted a finger. None of my brothers or sisters ever got in touch with me either.

 

Throughout the 4 months I was in a hotel my mum had been to Preston to see her mate, London and Yorkshire yet she couldn't be bothered travelling less than ten miles to see how her son was or how her grandparents were.

 

She randomly turns up a few days before Christmas. Bearing in mind that the kids hadn't even seen her since May then got a cob on when I didn't invite her in.

 

I feel for you mate. What is it with some people? How can they be so dead inside?

[Harry Squatter]

They are cunts but constantly headwork me trying to make out its my fault or I shouldn't demand help from them.

 

When that happened I got a call out the blue of some fella in work I had fallen out with and not spoken to for ages. He just said if I needed anything doing like shopping, painting, going the tip just to give him a bell.

[Champ]

I just grew up, Cath, that's all. I went off the rails after she threw me out. I was a little knobhead who used to drink, take drugs, get arrested for petty stuff all the time and all that nonsense. It might seem like I'm shifting blame but when I think back I see it like I was just a kid and a product of my environment. I try not to think too much about that period of time because it's embarrassing and not who I really am. I honestly can't pinpoint the time my attitude changed. It was a gradual thing. I think by the time I was 20/21 I had my head screwed on and I was a functioning adult. I met Mel when I was 23 and moved down here a year later.

Maybe but I'm also thinking you lot must have someone/people who did show you the right way because we aren't just 'good' or 'bad' by accident

[Champ]

Going to court today and in a nutshell I have been 'told' that I either take residency of my daughter or the court/CAFCASS will put her into care. Pretty damning of her mum that. Some people don't deserve to be parents.

The shit some 'adults' will put their kids through. I can only hope things work out for her. My experience is less optimistic

[Paulie Dangerously]

Never gonna moan about fixing my ma's laptop ever again

[skend04]

The shit some 'adults' will put their kids through. I can only hope things work out for her. My experience is less optimistic

Final hearing is scheduled for November. The Guardian needs to put in her position statement before we can. The ex has 4 months to turn herself around but I'd put my mortgage on her not doing it.

[Moo]

Final hearing is scheduled for November. The Guardian needs to put in her position statement before we can. The ex has 4 months to turn herself around but I'd put my mortgage on her not doing it.

Why are they making you go to court to get your own daughter? My family law knowledge is zero, but this seems ridiculous.

[Einch]

Why are they making you go to court to get your own daughter? My family law knowledge is zero, but this seems ridiculous.

Aye. This sounds mad.

[Section_31]

Was prompted to have a read over this thread again as I was chatting to my Mrs about my mum again last night.

 

She does this weird 'keeping in touch by numbers' thing where she texts me a couple of times a week with 'how are you?' and I'll respond with whatever, and she'll reply 'good I'll let you get some sleep now night'. It could be like 8pm. She literally doesn't care what the answer is. 

 

I was in hospital just before Christmas seriously ill for about a week, in for two days, let out, back in for five on IV antibiotics, operation etc, neither my mum or sister came to see me. Me ma reckoned she wasn't well, me sister didn't even text to see if I was alright. My uncle came to see me and he's in a wheelchair and has agoraphobia, think he felt sorry for me when I'd told him. Like a mug though I've still been delivering bits of shopping and stuff throughout all this brouhaha. 

 

I had to take her for a brain scan a few months back to check she didn't have dementia (she didn't) but this was because she's kept losing stuff, or leaving the door open etc. We suspect it was my sister hiding things and moving them around to make her think she's lost the plot. I tentatively raised this, but she's having  none of it. Interestingly, the memory nurse who came to see her (my sister stayed in the room during the visit) said before he even sent her for the scan 'I don't think it is neurological, maybe it's something else'. Nudge nudge, and indeed, wink wink.  

 

I've come to a bit of an amateur psychologist's conclusion about my mum. Essentially, my dad left when I was two (they were both about 23), the reason being that his mum had built him up all his life to think he was something special, he played in a band and rode around on a motorbike and I suspect thought he was going to be famous. (he still lives in Speke though, is a bum, and has six other kids to different women). I got to wondering if my mum blamed me for being left on her own, whether she knew it or not. I remember her being loving as I was growing up but viewed my nan and granddad - her parents - as the strong figures you'd usually associate with parents, providers and protectors, I reckon me mum felt like more of an older sister. I suspect she saw me as company/a crutch as I was growing up but sill always put herself first (hence her keeping her second husband around so long despite him treating me like shit). 

 

I think this is why I tend to be an angry cunt, have never believed in blood's thicker than water, and have spent most of my life fantasizing about getting away from people. My in laws are sound but if anything happened to my wife I wouldn't bother with them, often I feel like I could take or leave my mates too. In general, I've found humanity to be largely a disappointment. 

 

 

[VladimirIlyich]

18 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Was prompted to have a read over this thread again as I was chatting to my Mrs about my mum again last night.

 

She does this weird 'keeping in touch by numbers' thing where she texts me a couple of times a week with 'how are you?' and I'll respond with whatever, and she'll reply 'good I'll let you get some sleep now night'. It could be like 8pm. She literally doesn't care what the answer is. 

 

I was in hospital just before Christmas seriously ill for about a week, in for two days, let out, back in for five on IV antibiotics, operation etc, neither my mum or sister came to see me. Me ma reckoned she wasn't well, me sister didn't even text to see if I was alright. My uncle came to see me and he's in a wheelchair and has agoraphobia, think he felt sorry for me when I'd told him. Like a mug though I've still been delivering bits of shopping and stuff throughout all this brouhaha. 

 

I had to take her for a brain scan a few months back to check she didn't have dementia (she didn't) but this was because she's kept losing stuff, or leaving the door open etc. We suspect it was my sister hiding things and moving them around to make her think she's lost the plot. I tentatively raised this, but she's having  none of it. Interestingly, the memory nurse who came to see her (my sister stayed in the room during the visit) said before he even sent her for the scan 'I don't think it is neurological, maybe it's something else'. Nudge nudge, and indeed, wink wink.  

 

I've come to a bit of an amateur psychologist's conclusion about my mum. Essentially, my dad left when I was two (they were both about 23), the reason being that his mum had built him up all his life to think he was something special, he played in a band and rode around on a motorbike and I suspect thought he was going to be famous. (he still lives in Speke though, is a bum, and has six other kids to different women). I got to wondering if my mum blamed me for being left on her own, whether she knew it or not. I remember her being loving as I was growing up but viewed my nan and granddad - her parents - as the strong figures you'd usually associate with parents, providers and protectors, I reckon me mum felt like more of an older sister. I suspect she saw me as company/a crutch as I was growing up but sill always put herself first (hence her keeping her second husband around so long despite him treating me like shit). 

 

I think this is why I tend to be an angry cunt, have never believed in blood's thicker than water, and have spent most of my life fantasizing about getting away from people. My in laws are sound but if anything happened to my wife I wouldn't bother with them, often I feel like I could take or leave my mates too. In general, I've found humanity to be largely a disappointment. 

 

 

Humanity is largely a disappointing with those role models mate,but there are still plenty of good people around.

[Harry Squatter]

My Mrs family are always fucking arguing and even when they aren't they always get snide remarks in about each other just to get a reaction.

 

Was in hospital with my son last week for 5 days. He has been suffering with really bad bowel problems and as he is Autistic and non verbal he can't tell me what is up with him. He lost the plot last week and nearly smashed the house up, we called an ambulance but as he was that irate they wouldn't take him so he had to be sedated after being prescribed Diazepam and then we rang a second ambulance. 

 

I was in there a couple of days when my brother in law texted me asking what was up with him. I told him and he didnt say anything, just asked why my Mrs wasnt taking turns with me staying in the whole week. Obviously I told my Mrs and she flipped as he basically implied she was a lazy cunt and knew this would wind her up.

 

After my son was discharged no one bothered coming round to see him. My brother in law is a paramedic and thinks he knows fucking everything about everything and said to my niece that my son was only constipated and didn't need to go to hospital, so everything was just a big drama (which she then repeated back to us).  Obviously this is without him seeing him or having access to his medical history and thinking he knows better than paediatrician at Alder Hey. He also doesnt appreciate the level of behaviour my son has at home which has been unbearable during lockdown. They've also made snide remarks about us getting an extension and a wet room for him making out we are milking his disability. 

 

Still no one has been round to see him, I again took him in on Sunday as he was in pain again but no text or phone call.

 

It's the snidey way they go about things winding people up by getting other people to say it for them that annoys me the most.

 

He's been sacked from every job he's had for being awkwardly or putting grievances in against people and always getting too big for his boots so hopefully the same thing happens soon.

[littletedwest]

Not sure if I've put this on before. Found out when I was about 20 I had an uncle i didn't know about. 

He had been round my nans and robbed her. My other uncle found him kicked shit out of him and told him leave town. He did and it was only at a different uncles funeral I heard him mentioned.

Apparently my dad never got on with him even as kids. He married my mum and never told her, it only came up as someone said to her she'd seen my dad's brother Martin. My mum said you mean Michael and the woman said no martin I know the difference. She mentioned it my dad said we don't talk about him and that was that