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Family Strife


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Wanker has had covid. Bint was staying at her mums  (Her Indoor's sister) until the weekend. Apparently she was in tears before she went back. Wanker gets unhappy if she even phones her mum while she's there.

 

She is only with this mega twat because he splashes the cash on her. Bint has basically never done a days work in her life so despite the origins of said cash has fuck all to fall back on.

 

What a happy relationship.

 

Looking forward to fucking christmas as usual. I'll have to put up with at least bint, if not both.

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My nan died in 2008, as some of you remember as i went on to deal with some fucking horrific family shite following. Recently (in June) came across some paperwork that was never followed up, turns out there was some money held in an annuity. 

in 2016 a relative claimed she had died with no will, provided a death certificate and a birth certificate proving to be her son and claimed 2/5ths of the money (he also blagged he was claiming my mothers). Annuity company didn't bother to check that there was a will and probate logged with .gov and paid out. 

Logged a complaint in September, detailed the 30+ hours of calls i've made, the 17 names of people i've dealt with and they responded last month - they're still refusing to pay out the full amount. To top it all, they've offered me a whole £200 compensation for the hassle they've caused. Yeah, with the ombudsman now, like.

 

Families can be right cunts - my mother has also called me a money grabbing bitch and informed me she wants nothing to do with me as i'm willing to watch this cunt uncle have a heart attack and criminal charges against him... just as he was willing to put me through criminal charges when he claimed i'd flooded my nans house deliberately following her death to claim on the insurance. 


So, if anyone has a family member thats died and you're not sure of their pensions etc - all you need is a death certificate and evidence of your family connection (in this case birth certificate) and you've nailed it. 

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7 hours ago, melons said:

My nan died in 2008, as some of you remember as i went on to deal with some fucking horrific family shite following. Recently (in June) came across some paperwork that was never followed up, turns out there was some money held in an annuity. 

in 2016 a relative claimed she had died with no will, provided a death certificate and a birth certificate proving to be her son and claimed 2/5ths of the money (he also blagged he was claiming my mothers). Annuity company didn't bother to check that there was a will and probate logged with .gov and paid out. 

Logged a complaint in September, detailed the 30+ hours of calls i've made, the 17 names of people i've dealt with and they responded last month - they're still refusing to pay out the full amount. To top it all, they've offered me a whole £200 compensation for the hassle they've caused. Yeah, with the ombudsman now, like.

 

Families can be right cunts - my mother has also called me a money grabbing bitch and informed me she wants nothing to do with me as i'm willing to watch this cunt uncle have a heart attack and criminal charges against him... just as he was willing to put me through criminal charges when he claimed i'd flooded my nans house deliberately following her death to claim on the insurance. 


So, if anyone has a family member thats died and you're not sure of their pensions etc - all you need is a death certificate and evidence of your family connection (in this case birth certificate) and you've nailed it. 

Sorry to read this. 
 

it’s not my place to divulge so I won’t, but my ex went through a similar thing when her had died about 10 years ago, and is now still going through more shite with her family even as she lives with cancer. 

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On 02/10/2021 at 16:26, Bruce Spanner said:

My last exchange with my sister was about six years back.

 

I adore my niece and nephew, they were the first kids in our family, so we doted on them.

 

I always brought them down to london for a week in the summer holiday and spoilt them rotten, but my sister put and end to because, to quote 'You don't fucking care about me, you only want to see the kids so you're never seeing them again' and i haven't, neither has my mother. 

 

I get the last bit, makes sense, you almost don't want to be happy around them as their lot is so miserable.

Amidst all the awfulness on this thread, this made my jaw drop. Ghastly.

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6 minutes ago, deiseach said:

Amidst all the awfulness on this thread, this made my jaw drop. Ghastly.

 

It's bleak, getting on for six years now, they've never met any of mine or my brothers kids.

 

The only hope is that by the time they're old enough to act for themselves they haven't been too broken by a neglectful, almost resentful, useless fucking mother and her deadleg boyfriend who views them as a massive inconvienence.

 

She's had two more kids, that we know of, in the time since we last spoke and I guarentee their lot is as bleak as my niece and nephews.

 

My sister is a broken little girl who believes the world owes her a favour and that will never change.

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13 hours ago, melons said:

My nan died in 2008, as some of you remember as i went on to deal with some fucking horrific family shite following. Recently (in June) came across some paperwork that was never followed up, turns out there was some money held in an annuity. 

in 2016 a relative claimed she had died with no will, provided a death certificate and a birth certificate proving to be her son and claimed 2/5ths of the money (he also blagged he was claiming my mothers). Annuity company didn't bother to check that there was a will and probate logged with .gov and paid out. 

Logged a complaint in September, detailed the 30+ hours of calls i've made, the 17 names of people i've dealt with and they responded last month - they're still refusing to pay out the full amount. To top it all, they've offered me a whole £200 compensation for the hassle they've caused. Yeah, with the ombudsman now, like.

 

Families can be right cunts - my mother has also called me a money grabbing bitch and informed me she wants nothing to do with me as i'm willing to watch this cunt uncle have a heart attack and criminal charges against him... just as he was willing to put me through criminal charges when he claimed i'd flooded my nans house deliberately following her death to claim on the insurance. 


So, if anyone has a family member thats died and you're not sure of their pensions etc - all you need is a death certificate and evidence of your family connection (in this case birth certificate) and you've nailed it. 

Which insurance company if you don't mind me asking? If what you've stated there is true then the Ombudsman should wipe the floor with them.

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n 2016 a relative claimed she had died with no will, provided a death certificate and a birth certificate proving to be her son and claimed 2/5ths of the money (he also blagged he was claiming my mothers). Annuity company didn't bother to check that there was a will and probate logged with .gov and paid out. 


One for the police?

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  • 3 weeks later...

It goes on.

 

On Sunday a load of them went to a Pantomime in London. Me, Her Indoors and HI’s mum went elsewhere for a pub lunch.

Anyway Bint had ‘invited’ the others to Quaglinos for lunch prior to the panto. I’ve been there a couple of times, OK but very pricey.

Now, if I invite anyone to anywhere I pay for it. I’m sure that is normal.

You know what happens. The bill is delivered and it’s divvy up time. Useless bint just wants people to know she’s been to a flash restaurant.

HI summed her up perfectly. She knows the price of everything. The value of fuck all.

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  • 2 months later...

Not exactly strife but I need to get this off my chest. 

 

We are burying my mums ashes today. Instead of scattering them like me and my brother wanted to do, her widow went ahead and paid for a plot and headstone near where she grew up on Fox's Bank lane (Whiston/Cronton). We were meant to do this last year but covid ruined it so it's today. I'm not arsed about my birthday, I never have been but my bird specifically said to him months ago don't do it on the 18th as it's Stigs birthday the day before and it would put a downer on it. It was always going to be in feb because it was my mums birthday on Sunday just gone.

 

Completely ignoring her he rang about 6 weeks ago to give the date (today). Anyway he rang me last week to say he's told the pub to expect up to 30 people on Friday afternoon. 30. I asked why 30 and he said he has loads of friends and family who want to attend. This is meant to be a small intimate gathering of close family, not all his fucking lot so he can get the attention all on him. I've tried not to think about it too much or get wound up but I've woke up today fucking fuming at it. She passed away a year and a half ago and we've basically got another funeral that instead of being a little gathering, pay our respects and maybe have a family drink afterwards is now an 'event'. 

 

I genuinely don't think it's even hit me yet that she's gone, I've not really mourned and just cracked on. Can I fuck be arsed with people I barely know being there today. It's absolutely ridiculous. To add insult to injury, I was very close to saying fuck it I'm not going the other day (my auntie and her husband have travelled up from London and I love their company so am going) yet our kid went to his mates Dads funeral yesterday. Got a feeling he ended up on it with all his mates and won't even turn up today. The little bastard. 

 

Anyway fuck it, hair of the dog and get through it. Oh and the rain's just started. My maa would be fuming if she knew this was happening. 

 

 

 

EDIT: That counts as strife doesn't it. Fuck sake is nothing sacred 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Not exactly strife but I need to get this off my chest. 

 

We are burying my mums ashes today. Instead of scattering them like me and my brother wanted to do, her widow went ahead and paid for a plot and headstone near where she grew up on Fox's Bank lane (Whiston/Cronton). We were meant to do this last year but covid ruined it so it's today. I'm not arsed about my birthday, I never have been but my bird specifically said to him months ago don't do it on the 18th as it's Stigs birthday the day before and it would put a downer on it. It was always going to be in feb because it was my mums birthday on Sunday just gone.

 

Completely ignoring her he rang about 6 weeks ago to give the date (today). Anyway he rang me last week to say he's told the pub to expect up to 30 people on Friday afternoon. 30. I asked why 30 and he said he has loads of friends and family who want to attend. This is meant to be a small intimate gathering of close family, not all his fucking lot so he can get the attention all on him. I've tried not to think about it too much or get wound up but I've woke up today fucking fuming at it. She passed away a year and a half ago and we've basically got another funeral that instead of being a little gathering, pay our respects and maybe have a family drink afterwards is now an 'event'. 

 

I genuinely don't think it's even hit me yet that she's gone, I've not really mourned and just cracked on. Can I fuck be arsed with people I barely know being there today. It's absolutely ridiculous. To add insult to injury, I was very close to saying fuck it I'm not going the other day (my auntie and her husband have travelled up from London and I love their company so am going) yet our kid went to his mates Dads funeral yesterday. Got a feeling he ended up on it with all his mates and won't even turn up today. The little bastard. 

 

Anyway fuck it, hair of the dog and get through it. Oh and the rain's just started. My maa would be fuming if she knew this was happening. 

 

 

 

EDIT: That counts as strife doesn't it. Fuck sake is nothing sacred 

 

 

It’s having a negative impact on you so of course it’s strife, in fact that’s probably a relatively diplomatic word given the circumstances you describe. 
 

Grief is a funny old game. It effects us all differently.

 

My Dad passed away four years ago today. The first six months, I barely felt anything. Since then it’s been a bit ‘death by a thousand cuts’. 

 

We all just do the best we can, even when sometimes that ‘best’ isn’t great. 
 

Hope today goes as well as it can. 

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1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Not exactly strife but I need to get this off my chest. 

 

We are burying my mums ashes today. Instead of scattering them like me and my brother wanted to do, her widow went ahead and paid for a plot and headstone near where she grew up on Fox's Bank lane (Whiston/Cronton). We were meant to do this last year but covid ruined it so it's today. I'm not arsed about my birthday, I never have been but my bird specifically said to him months ago don't do it on the 18th as it's Stigs birthday the day before and it would put a downer on it. It was always going to be in feb because it was my mums birthday on Sunday just gone.

 

Completely ignoring her he rang about 6 weeks ago to give the date (today). Anyway he rang me last week to say he's told the pub to expect up to 30 people on Friday afternoon. 30. I asked why 30 and he said he has loads of friends and family who want to attend. This is meant to be a small intimate gathering of close family, not all his fucking lot so he can get the attention all on him. I've tried not to think about it too much or get wound up but I've woke up today fucking fuming at it. She passed away a year and a half ago and we've basically got another funeral that instead of being a little gathering, pay our respects and maybe have a family drink afterwards is now an 'event'. 

 

I genuinely don't think it's even hit me yet that she's gone, I've not really mourned and just cracked on. Can I fuck be arsed with people I barely know being there today. It's absolutely ridiculous. To add insult to injury, I was very close to saying fuck it I'm not going the other day (my auntie and her husband have travelled up from London and I love their company so am going) yet our kid went to his mates Dads funeral yesterday. Got a feeling he ended up on it with all his mates and won't even turn up today. The little bastard. 

 

Anyway fuck it, hair of the dog and get through it. Oh and the rain's just started. My maa would be fuming if she knew this was happening. 

 

 

 

EDIT: That counts as strife doesn't it. Fuck sake is nothing sacred 

 

 

Look after yourself mate. If you want to excuse yourself from the “event” part later on, then do. Talk to the people you care about to let them know, rather than just disappearing, but do what is right for you.

 

The only people that matter today are you, and those that you care about. Nobody else, and it’s not your responsibility to do what other people want or expect.

 

take care mate.

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Well we got some lovely news yesterday. We were expecting it, but bollocks anyway.

 

My sister went with my ma to the memory clinic to get a diagnosis. We only went two years ago just before the lockdowns started, and they told us then that she had mild cognitive impairment, and had an 80-85% chance of it not progressing.

 

Well it has progressed, and they confirmed yesterday that my ma has Alzheimers. I knew it was going to be something like that (I was expecting Vascular Dementia as she's Diabetic and has Raised BP, shows what I know!), but to hear that word is just a dagger to the heart.

 

It's like she's regressed back to childhood, she wants to be at my aunties house (my nan's old gaff) all the time, she's horrible to me poor arl fella, she's stopped recognising me and my sister some of the time, etc etc.

 

I'm devastated, and I don't know how long she will last the way the symptoms have progressed over the last two years, not to mention her physical health taking a battering as we can't get her to eat properly.

 

Sorry for venting, needed to get it off my chest. @Bjornebye, hope it goes / went OK.

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13 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Well we got some lovely news yesterday. We were expecting it, but bollocks anyway.

 

My sister went with my ma to the memory clinic to get a diagnosis. We only went two years ago just before the lockdowns started, and they told us then that she had mild cognitive impairment, and had an 80-85% chance of it not progressing.

 

Well it has progressed, and they confirmed yesterday that my ma has Alzheimers. I knew it was going to be something like that (I was expecting Vascular Dementia as she's Diabetic and has Raised BP, shows what I know!), but to hear that word is just a dagger to the heart.

 

It's like she's regressed back to childhood, she wants to be at my aunties house (my nan's old gaff) all the time, she's horrible to me poor arl fella, she's stopped recognising me and my sister some of the time, etc etc.

 

I'm devastated, and I don't know how long she will last the way the symptoms have progressed over the last two years, not to mention her physical health taking a battering as we can't get her to eat properly.

 

Sorry for venting, needed to get it off my chest. @Bjornebye, hope it goes / went OK.

Awful news. I can’t even imagine what this must be like. Never apologise for venting on here if you need to. Whatever helps. 

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2 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Awful news. I can’t even imagine what this must be like. Never apologise for venting on here if you need to. Whatever helps. 

Thanks mate. Hopefully we'll get some help with her now. My old fella is 89 and he's too frail to help, and my sister needs a break. I can only help out a couple of afternoons a week because of work, so we need some respite for my dad and sister mainly. Just glad we know what we're dealing with now.

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2 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

Look after yourself mate. If you want to excuse yourself from the “event” part later on, then do. Talk to the people you care about to let them know, rather than just disappearing, but do what is right for you.

 

The only people that matter today are you, and those that you care about. Nobody else, and it’s not your responsibility to do what other people want or expect.

 

take care mate.

Spot on.

 

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2 hours ago, Creator Supreme said:

Well we got some lovely news yesterday. We were expecting it, but bollocks anyway.

 

My sister went with my ma to the memory clinic to get a diagnosis. We only went two years ago just before the lockdowns started, and they told us then that she had mild cognitive impairment, and had an 80-85% chance of it not progressing.

 

Well it has progressed, and they confirmed yesterday that my ma has Alzheimers. I knew it was going to be something like that (I was expecting Vascular Dementia as she's Diabetic and has Raised BP, shows what I know!), but to hear that word is just a dagger to the heart.

 

It's like she's regressed back to childhood, she wants to be at my aunties house (my nan's old gaff) all the time, she's horrible to me poor arl fella, she's stopped recognising me and my sister some of the time, etc etc.

 

I'm devastated, and I don't know how long she will last the way the symptoms have progressed over the last two years, not to mention her physical health taking a battering as we can't get her to eat properly.

 

Sorry for venting, needed to get it off my chest. @Bjornebye, hope it goes / went OK.

My Mrs looked after her mum who had Alzheimer's  for 7 years and it crucified her. She went there 4 times a day to feed her, make sure she showered, did her washing, everything really. She loved her mum, doted on her and refused to consider any outside help.

 

Her mum started doing really strange things and became violent and it just kept getting worse.

My Mrs is a strong person and tried to brush things off but she badly needed a break so eventually, after much reasoning she agreed to getting in touch with social services for an assessment with regards her going into respite care for a couple of weeks.

The social worker couldn't believe how she had slipped through the net and was way beyond the point where round the clock care was needed.

 

When it was time to take her back home, She didn't recognise my mrs which really upset her, though she did recognise me but had forgotten my name and she didn't recognise the house she had lived in for 30 years.

She kept saying she wanted to go back to where the people are, which was back to the care home which social services arranged.

 

Alzheimer's is a cruel, bastard of a disease, something of which the sufferer is mercifully unaware of, it's the family, friends and loved ones who suffer, but there does become a stage where even with the best will in the world you have to consider a home.

It's not abandoning them, it's putting their needs first, because no matter how much you love them or how much it hurts you, it's the best thing for them.

 

Good luck mate.

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Not exactly strife but I need to get this off my chest. 

 

We are burying my mums ashes today. Instead of scattering them like me and my brother wanted to do, her widow went ahead and paid for a plot and headstone near where she grew up on Fox's Bank lane (Whiston/Cronton). We were meant to do this last year but covid ruined it so it's today. I'm not arsed about my birthday, I never have been but my bird specifically said to him months ago don't do it on the 18th as it's Stigs birthday the day before and it would put a downer on it. It was always going to be in feb because it was my mums birthday on Sunday just gone.

 

Completely ignoring her he rang about 6 weeks ago to give the date (today). Anyway he rang me last week to say he's told the pub to expect up to 30 people on Friday afternoon. 30. I asked why 30 and he said he has loads of friends and family who want to attend. This is meant to be a small intimate gathering of close family, not all his fucking lot so he can get the attention all on him. I've tried not to think about it too much or get wound up but I've woke up today fucking fuming at it. She passed away a year and a half ago and we've basically got another funeral that instead of being a little gathering, pay our respects and maybe have a family drink afterwards is now an 'event'. 

 

I genuinely don't think it's even hit me yet that she's gone, I've not really mourned and just cracked on. Can I fuck be arsed with people I barely know being there today. It's absolutely ridiculous. To add insult to injury, I was very close to saying fuck it I'm not going the other day (my auntie and her husband have travelled up from London and I love their company so am going) yet our kid went to his mates Dads funeral yesterday. Got a feeling he ended up on it with all his mates and won't even turn up today. The little bastard. 

 

Anyway fuck it, hair of the dog and get through it. Oh and the rain's just started. My maa would be fuming if she knew this was happening. 

 

 

 

EDIT: That counts as strife doesn't it. Fuck sake is nothing sacred

 

 

Doesn't sound like a pleasant fella so mark as the end of your dealings with him too, for the most part anyway, try and remember all the progress you've made mate with various things and don't let this undo any of it, you've shared enough on here to know what I mean, obviously that's from a caring perspective.

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