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Liverpool 4 Everton 0 (Apr 20 2016)


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The repeated chants of “murderers” from the away end was quite apt really, because we absolutely fucking murdered Everton. They should count themselves lucky they got away with just a four goal defeat as it should have been double that. 37 shots to three. When was the last time that happened in any game, let alone a derby? 
 
It was the most one sided derby I’ve ever seen but it’s difficult to know how much of that was us being great or them being horrendous. Probably somewhere in the middle of both really. We’re definitely on a roll at the moment but they never really looked up for the fight and once they went down to ten men they knew it was just about damage limitation and they packed their defence and hoped for the best. 
 
Even before that shithouse Funes Mori saw red though this game was over. Two quick goals just before half time ended any resistance Everton may have been offering, but the only surprise was how long it took us to score because we hammered them for pretty much that entire half. They had two or three early counter attacks that looked quite dangerous, but they were rare moments of respite for them in a half of domination from the Reds. 
 
The one time they looked they might score Sakho just stretched out a telescopic leg to take the ball off Lukaku. Aside from that the only thing they offered was a Mirallas shot that almost hit the corner flag and a Barkley effort over the bar from distance. Let’s be honest, Everton were fucking pitiful. It’s not often these days you hear chants of “You’re so shit it’s unbelievable” but this was entirely warranted. They’re Wigan with better players. Long live Bobby Brown Shoes.

 

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evertonreport2.jpg

 

It was the most one sided derby I’ve ever seen but it’s difficult to know how much of that was us being great or them being horrendous. 

 

I think the second goal answered that pretty conclusively. Suppose, for a second, that Leighton Baines was in our box 5 yards from any opposing defender, then crossed it to Stones who was unmarked in the 6 yard box, and suppose this all happened from a corner we were defending.

 

Sakho, Lovren and Mignolet would all have to flee the country and begin living under assumed names somewhere in Argentina, as you informed people that you were "frightfully sorry" about the server overload. 

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I think the second goal answered that pretty conclusively. Suppose, for a second, that Leighton Baines was in our box 5 yards from any opposing defender, then crossed it to Stones who was unmarked in the 6 yard box, and suppose this all happened from a corner we were defending.

 

Sakho, Lovren and Mignolet would all have to flee the country and begin living under assumed names somewhere in Argentina, as you informed people that you were "frightfully sorry" about the server overload. 

 

I reckon you were drunk when you wrote that.

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Regardless of how poor Everton were we still had a job to do and boy did we deliver . After a nervy start the game swung dramatically towards us with a beast of a tackle by Sakho on Lukaku who was 2nd best to get the ball . It steadied us down and from that point onwards we controlled the game and could EASILY have been 4 0 to the good had we taken our chances in the first half .

 

 

The second half was a training session after that jabroni went through Origi who deservedly was sent off for his reckless tackle which wouldn't of looked out of place in a Sunday league game .

 

 

How good is Milner playing lately ? If only he could sort his corners out he'd be phenomenal . Also Dave thought you would of mentioned Lucas shot that barely touched the Ad hoarding and Klopp and the bench pissing themselves laughing had to rewind that 5 times as it was hilarious .

 

 

Special mention to Moreno who had a very disciplined game as I was fearful before the game that he was the 1 that might get sent off for us but he went under the radar with a no nonsense performance .

 

 

Should and could of been a more emphatic scoreline and to see the faces on some of the Evertonians was memorable , bring on the Geordies .

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