The Garth Crooks Wisdom Thread

[Iceman]

Can't stand the wage stealing cunt. He's been at it for decades and needs fucking off. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

On 21/11/2021 at 22:42, Creator Supreme said:

Nookie's latest bollocks:

 

"

Sadio Mane: So it's like that then, is it Jurgen Klopp? I wondered what the touchline row was about with Mikel Arteta. It was clear from Klopp's post-match interview that he thought that Sadio Mane's challenge on Takehiro Tomiyasu was fair, but boy did he use the ensuing confrontation with Arteta to fuel the Anfield crowd.

Liverpool were struggling until that moment and the only mistake Arteta made was getting involved with Klopp in the first place. The row ignited the crowd and Klopp knew it would. Mane, the architect of the incident with Tomiyasu, also took advantage of Anfield's rise in temperature with a well-taken goal and a glorious assist. But it was Klopp who was the villain here, not Arteta."

 

He sounds like a first year in high school trying to sound dead ever. Fucking idiot.

[General Dryness]

On 23/08/2021 at 22:24, Dr Nowt said:

Loved reading his column this morning. Try saying ’The Crooks of the matter’ without imagining Tony Hayers laughing into his farfalle. Impossible 

Garth Attack

[Dr Nowt]

On 21/11/2021 at 22:42, Creator Supreme said:

Nookie's latest bollocks:

 

"

Sadio Mane: So it's like that then, is it Jurgen Klopp? I wondered what the touchline row was about with Mikel Arteta. It was clear from Klopp's post-match interview that he thought that Sadio Mane's challenge on Takehiro Tomiyasu was fair, but boy did he use the ensuing confrontation with Arteta to fuel the Anfield crowd.

Liverpool were struggling until that moment and the only mistake Arteta made was getting involved with Klopp in the first place. The row ignited the crowd and Klopp knew it would. Mane, the architect of the incident with Tomiyasu, also took advantage of Anfield's rise in temperature with a well-taken goal and a glorious assist. But it was Klopp who was the villain here, not Arteta."

 

[VladimirIlyich]

Garth Crooks is a caricature in the same way Alan Partridge is. Unfortunately Garth believes he's real.

[DalyanPete]

7 hours ago, Dr Nowt said:

 

His head is that heavy its dropping into his chest.

[magicrat]

Garth Crooks gets free pass in my book . He’s obviously not the full shilling and no one takes him seriously. Harmless nut job .

[Pete]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/59821480

Mad as box of frogs

[John102]

That Real Madrid comment is a bit odd.

[Harry Squatter]

Trying too hard to be Dave Prentice 

[Jairzinho]

He isn't a well man.

[VladimirIlyich]

No Salah in the forward line? The man is hatstand.

[Dr Nowt]

He is clinically fascinating.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

I hope his brain is preserved so future generations may one day unlock its secrets.

[Strontium]

Oh, he did it, he finally jumped the shark.

[General Dryness]

He needs to shut his cakehole, the popeyed twat.

[TheDrowningMan]

[Jimmy Hills Chin]

To be honest, it's best not to take any notice of Garth as he's a bit of a bellend. Instead, don't make eye contact and walk right past him whilst pretending to be on your phone. Him missing Mo out on some inconsequential list makes not one iota of difference in the grand (or even tiny) scheme of things and should be dismissed as such, like belly button fluff or a stray sweet wrapper.

[dockers_strike]

This thread's title is an oxymoron.

[VladimirIlyich]

8 minutes ago, dockers_strike said:

This thread's title is a moron.

 

[Anubis]

Garth Crooks was born and raised in Innsmouth.

[lifetime fan]

His team of the week comments about Mane and Mo are classic. 

[Anubis]

52 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

His team of the week comments about Mane and Mo are classic. 

 

Quote

Mohamed Salah: I heard my non-selection of Mohamed Salah in my team of the year got one or two a little hot under the collar. Well, I make no apologies for that. Salah made my team of the season but crudely chased the Golden Boot award.

His selfishness had a negative effect on Sadio Mane in particular and, in my view, had an adverse effect on Liverpool's campaign last season - a point I made at the time.

This season Salah looks like a team player again and his goals are coming naturally. He is no longer looking for cheap penalties and is back to the player he was the season Liverpool won the title, and that's why he makes my team of the week.

Sadio Mane: I must say I'm not entirely sure Mane should have remained on the field after his challenge on Cesar Azpilicueta but I'm delighted he did. The Senegal international was booked for the foul but managed to behave himself for the rest of the game and made a significant contribution to a classic football match.

Mane is a tough player but an honest one too. Quite often referees have to assess the character of a player when he's not sure if the offence was deliberate or not and in Mane's case his honesty seems to provide him with the benefit of the doubt.

 

Laughed at the bolded bit.

[Manny]

He's clearly the BBC's ultimate clickbait merchant. Every week he puts together a team of the week with at least one "fucking hell" shout in there - then it's shared all over Twitter with people going "fucking hell".

[DJLJ]

4 hours ago, Anubis said:

Quite often referees have to assess the character of a player when he's not sure if the offence was deliberate or not

The fuck?