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FAO People with Little children

Nunavut Patrick

By Nunavut Patrick,
in GF - General Forum

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Nunavut Patrick Grand Master

Nunavut Patrick

Posted
Posted

Listen you fucking cunts, when you visit and your spawn inevitably get bored or want to watch telly can you not follow one simple fucking rule....

 

Do not give your fucking little twat the channel changer.

 

It took me fucking twenty minutes to get the hockey game on after some fucking little Inuit eight year old basically destroyed the flicker.

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Preston Red Mentor

Preston Red

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In our house it's referred to as the "Oh. You're watching what you want to watch again are you even though I pay for the fucking thing" box.

 

On the subject of kids. I despise them unless they're behaving. Our dog hates other people's kids coming because she just gets fucking mauled by them. Constantly cuddling her, pulling her tail, dragging her round by her collar and the such like while their ignorant parents just sit and watch. If the dog bit them however, they'd be demanding we have her put to sleep. Shit would get real on that front.

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Bjornebye Grand Master

Bjornebye

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Depends on the kid. If I care about them then they can dow what they want. Its not up to me to discipline them and kids will be kids. If its a kid I dont know or don't like then the cunt gets a death stare at every opportunity just so it knows that I want to kill the little shit. One of her mates kids is a little evil cunt. Everytime she says they are coming round I go out for a quiet pint. He puts me in a foul mood. We were asked to babysit the little nazi not long after we got our dog and I told my missus no chance unless we had a pitbull.

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magicrat Grand Master

magicrat

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When my brats were small they had a portable and a DVD in the other room .They were banned from twatting about with mine following several serious incidents involving the remote and sugary drinks, Basically an apartheid policy works best where media hardware and small children are concerned 

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Fowlers God Grand Master

Fowlers God

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I always thought I'd become more tolerant of other people's kids once I'd had one of my own. I was wrong. If anything, it's made me hate them even more.

I hear you mate. My wife asked me to take the middle one to a swimming party on Saturday. As it was during our game I didn't give a duck as I could bear watching us again.

2 mins before I leave I get stitched up when I was advised I'd also been volunteered for getting in with them.

 

25. Yes that's right 25 fucking kids in the pool. How I didn't drown one of the cunts I have no idea.

 

But I know what you mean John- it's because most kids aren't raised the same way with the same manners ect. I pride myself on how good my kids are.

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Fowlers God Grand Master

Fowlers God

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It's out of order but I fucking pissed myself reading that.

 

'I started to think they were real and once ordered three pints - one for me and one each for the parrots. I'd get them to talk until the batteries ran out."

 

 

And the ring room service to change them.

 

Any reason you're not hanging out of your Mrs Arse?

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Nunavut Patrick Grand Master

Nunavut Patrick

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It changes the channel, its a channel changer.

 

There are two of them and they have more buttons on them then an Airbus cockpit.

 

I still remember when we got one in the 80s and it had to be attached to the tv and you could sit there and push the buttons like one of those fancy business executive phones.

 

HDMI, Netflix, Go Interactive, red button, blue button.....why?

 

Also, a few years back one of the nurses bought her kids over and the fucker peeled two of the little rubbery things off. Why? LIttle twat.

 

Now the little bastard is coming over to make fucking cookies and wants to hijack the tv again, at least this time my kid will be home, she knows how to operate the thing.

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Nunavut Patrick Grand Master

Nunavut Patrick

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It's 'the remote". Anything else is Saville gear.

 

What is remote about it?

 

I lived in a remote area, ie- there was nothing around for hundreds of miles. The tv is six feet away. It's not remote from the tv. It's near it.

 

The device changes the channels, therefore it is a channel changer.

 

I'd like to buy a remote? A remote what? A remote chance? A remote holiday?

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Sputnik1 Grand Master

Sputnik1

Posted
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What is remote about it?

 

I lived in a remote area, ie- there was nothing around for hundreds of miles. The tv is six feet away. It's not remote from the tv. It's near it.

 

The device changes the channels, therefore it is a channel changer.

 

I'd like to buy a remote? A remote what? A remote chance? A remote holiday?

 

Ah you got your adjectives and your nouns mixed up there. 

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