Liverpool 0 Manchester United 1 (Jan 17 2016)

[tlw content 16,783]

 
Was there anything more predictable than this? United have made a habit of spawning wins at Anfield over the years, but contrary to popular opinion I don’t even think they were lucky this time. Not at all, we’re kidding ourselves if we think that, as I’d say the game went exactly according to plan for them. So what if we played well and they didn't? We didn’t score and we gave away a shitty goal. Exactly how Van Gaal probably drew it up on his tactics board.

I say that because if I was bringing a team to Anfield, the gameplan would be simple: defend in numbers, give nothing away and hope to force four or five corners because one of them will inevitably lead to a goal. United were never going to come here and play an open game and what unfolded had a sense of inevitability about it. In fact I called it at half time when a mate text me saying how he thought we’d done everything right but were just lacking a cutting edge. “We’re nailed on to concede from a corner” I replied.

It hardly makes me Mystic Meg, I’m sure most the stadium were feeling the same thing. You can tell by the murmur of dread that rumbles around Anfield every time we concede a corner that we all know it's coming. We didn’t learn anything new from this game, it merely re-enforced what we already knew. In fact I doubt that there’s anything that can happen between now and May that we’ll learn anything from. We can’t score and we can’t defend corners. Whatever else happens doesn’t really matter as you’re not going to win consistently with those two rather significant flaws.

There’s not even really much else to say as I’ll only be repeating myself. We could overcome the shitness at defending set plays if we were able to score regularly, but because we are so toothless in front of goal any moment of sloppiness at the back usually proves fatal. Forget the goalkeeper and defence for now, we’ve got to add goals or nothing will change, and sending on an on loan Championship centre half to play as a striker isn’t going to get it done. Buy a couple of players who can score, you useless cunts. Or better yet, just let Klopp go out and get them as you jabronis have had your chance and look at the fucking state of us.


This is only a teaser, click here to view the full report

 

Please note that Match Reports are only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. If you are not currently registered on the site, sign up for free and receive a one month FREE no obligation trial subscription, which gives you access to all the members only content for one month.

[Jairzinho 25,289]

The only thing I dread more than the opposition having a corner is us having a corner.

[jimmycase 1,076]

A good report, made me cringe in places and chuckle in another.

 

Not having the criticism of mignolet though. The assumption he should have stayed on his feet for the header off the bar but he doesnt know the ball is going to canon off the bar when it leaves fellaini's head. He's going to think about tipiing it over the bar if he can get to it not think 'oh, this is going to hit the bar, no need for me to move I'll stay standing and hope any rebound is put at me'!

 

Does make you wonder why we havent signed a striker in the window. Charlie Austin 4m anyone? Maybe the owners think we have enough even if they are all out fucking injured?

 

Even that is questionable as ings is out all season, origi out to late feb and oh, we've got benteke!

 

I thought our finishing what there was of it, was woeful. Firmino looked slow. Henderson, lallana, milner all professional players and cant get a ball on target? really? Fucking hell, some of that finishing would shame the half time Carlsberg winners shooting finalist.

 

Im surprised we dont have any players on the posts for corners especially with the way we conceed. If you end up conceeding from corner after corner, here's an idea, try changing the way we defend them!

[Crazy Dave 240]

The owners have to sanction the signing of at least one, preferably two forward players in this window or we may as well completely write-off the league season and rest players for the cups. 

 

And when they sanction these signings, they need to be asking the committee some very basic questions:

 

does he have a track record of scoring goals?

does have have pace to get in behind?

does he have a good injury record?

 

If the answer to any of that three is no then don't fucking sign the cunt. 

[Baresi 1,772]

The league is a write-off as we're not going to get fourth. Therefore, let's give some players a run in the first team (ward, teixera, smith) and see how they do and concentrate on the three remaining cups. I don't want to be in the Europa league next year and end up with the same problems of such a hectic schedule. Plus I miss Saturday games at three and going the boozer afterwards!!

[an tha 8,300]

It is as simple as this - we concede few chances but most of them go in.

 

We create quite a lot and most of them don't go in.

 

There are very obvious reasons for these two facts and we are doing fuck all about addressing them - which is criminal.

[Nunavut Patrick 4,923]

 Or better yet, just let Klopp go out and get them as you jabronis have had your chance and look at the fucking state of us.  THIS.

 

. Benteke doesn’t have a brain in his head (getting caught offside with our last attack of the game sums him up) while that waster Sturridge needs banning from Anfield now.

 

And this.

 

Benteke makes Balotelli look like a footballing genius.

[Marcas 74]

And now we reward utter and abject mediocrity with a five year contract on improved terms...holy good f**k, what have we become?

[Paco 1,214]

Or better yet, just let Klopp go out and get them as you jabronis have had your chance and look at the fucking state of us. THIS.

 

harsh on benteke. hes contibuted more in half a season than balotelli did in twice the time. splitting hairs there. wouldnt have either of them but we ve rarely played to their strengths either.

 

. Benteke doesn’t have a brain in his head (getting caught offside with our last attack of the game sums him up) while that waster Sturridge needs banning from Anfield now.

 

And this.

 

Benteke makes Balotelli look like a footballing genius.

[rmgriffin10 3]

We don't have any one player who fears me, or anyone player who is get his name and number for my 6 year old lad.

[PatiencePending 31]

Benteke has scored more than the rest of the team put together...prior to this he earned us a point against arsenal with an assist and a win against Leicester and sunderland. I know he's shit and may not press and run around a lot but the fact that he's on the bench didn't help us beat arsenal or united at home.

 

The report is great but the pass played by kolo to Milner before their goal was a 'hospital pass'. This immediately led to one of Uniteds rare break aways which led to the only corner they had in 2nd half...we know what happens next...so wouldn't give kolo Man of match for that reason. Those mistakes are constantly costing us goals, just like sakho against arsenal when he should have either won the header or stayed down with a head injury (after missing the ball and head butting giroud)

 

The team lacks many things but my main concerns are lack of leadership, intelligence and determination to win (not to be confused with 'trying your best' which never cut the mustard at LFC in the good times).

[an tha 8,300]

According to some graphic sky are using we are...

 

2nd in number of shots in the league

2nd in chances created

19th in chance conversion

19th in conceeded from set pieces

20th conceeded from corners

 

Says it all

[William Morris 60]

Suppose I'd be interested to know what constitutes a "chance" according to Sky

Because I don't think we make that many.

We have lots of shots on goal and lots of good situations, especially at home, that a good team would convert a decent percentage of in to chances.

But genuine chances?

I'm not seeing that many myself in most of the games we play.

It's deffo true that other teams don't need many chances to score against us though.

[Paul Wright 38]

Charlie Austin £4 fuckin million. !!

Calls players back from loan but those 2 wasters Markovic and Ballotelli not (Thankfully) . Sums up those wankers buying players. Recall Kent from Coventry but £36m of "talent" bumming round Europe, great use of the Suarez money.

Rodgers on goals on sunday "Bertrand did not fit the profile"!!!.

Balotelli "went with the Group decision"

Club rotten to a man at the top. Sick of it.

Spot report on as always.

Mignolet - Cowards attempt at saving that shot.

School boy stuff - stand big, spread your self out  and close down.

He for me is a shithouse who can't kick the ball, or catch and is mostly shit at one on ones.

So lets give him 5 years!!  aaaaaaarghhh

[RedHeadedRed 125]

Its going to take a long time before this team learns how to defend a set-piece or a high ball properly, its been 3 and a half years of not being able to do it under Rodgers. It will take longer than a couple of months for Klopp to sort it out.

[rb14 1,898]

Decent report Davey. It's taken me this long to get around to reading it because I'm so desperately fucked off. I called the defeat after the arse result. It was nailed-on. Easy call.

 

It's the effort. I have a million other things to do than spend an entire day and I mean the entire fucking day - sometimes the night before or after - travelling the country to watch dross. And it is dross with performances like at West Ham and this. West fucking Ham. Shakes fucking head.

 

Trouble is, this fucking result hurts properly. I wouldn't be surprised if we've just ensured Van Gaal's record to date has just taken his stats back above Moyes'. Now there's a measure.

 

My mate David said "we fucking bossed that" and my response was "who gives a fuck".

 

I'm totally and utterly pissed off. I'm fucked if I'm spending any more of my time or money watching it. It's actually too fucking depressing. It doesn't hurt for a couple of days. I'm walking down the street yesterday shaking my head. I'll have this for a fortnight.

 

Oh and Jurgen, fuck off bigging up Ferguson eh? Time and place mate; time and place. This is neither.

[Ipplfc 62]

Good report that,the worst thing is we all pretty much knew how it was going to pan out,a real smash and grab,or what should be known at anfield as,get yourselves a corner.on mignolet ending up on the floor it looks like he thinks the headers going in and he's just dropping to his knees,when he realises its hit the bar it's too late for him to react

[stringvest 14,084]

Good piece Dave.  Klopp doesn't get away without criticism for that defeat, I'm afraid.  Poor team selection and a reluctance to change a system that isn't working is doing us in as much as individual incompetence.  

[Pureblood 7,453]

"Was there anything more predictable than this?"

 

Yes, stringvest blaming Lucas for the result.

[stringvest 14,084]

"Was there anything more predictable than this?"

 

Yes, stringvest blaming Lucas for the result.

 

Me and Dave are not the same person you know.  I know where there's a decent barber for a start.  

[easytoslip 1,188]

Would it done any harm to have given Texiera a go ?