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I think I've created a monster


Captain Turdseye
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My step-son is nearly 12 and started secondary school in September. He's a boss kid, polite, funny, really clever and well behaved. A few on here have met him on TSOP outings. He told me last week that some kid keeps picking on him in his science class so I told him to snarl at this kid and gave him permission to tell him to fuck off. I didn't think he would but he came home on Monday, told me it worked and that the other kid had apologised. Job done. He's found the bottle to stick up for himself and he knows, or at least we thought he knew, that he could only behave that way when he's faced with a bully.

 

We've just had a phone call from the school. Today he's told a girl that he'll rape her in her sleep. He's been put into isolation and Mrs Turdseye is gonna go medieval on his arse when he gets home. I don't want her to punish him too much because it's completely out of character but I'm beginning to wonder where he's hearing shit like that. Obviously there's little bastards everywhere but how have those of you with teenagers managed to keep them on the straight and narrow without resorting to OTT discipline? Keeping in mind that I'm trying to calm the situation, he's not my boy (although we have a boss relationship) and I don't want to end up in a situation where we're constantly butting heads for the next few years.

 

I won't be advising him to tell anyone else to fuck off for a while anyway.

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A few on here have met him on TSOP outings.

 

We've just had a phone call from the school. Today he's told a girl that he'll rape her in her sleep.

 

....but I'm beginning to wonder where he's hearing shit like that.

 

 

 

Think you've answered your own question....

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On a more serious note, while you may not want to come down on him too hard, you need to understand that the authorities can overreact to things like this. The other kids parents may start pushing for exclusion, or if more hysterical, demanding police involvement. You may need to be seen to take a hard line to stave off any of that.

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You and the missus need to be on the same page. If she's going to tear him a new arsehole, you need to back her up.

 

If he's as clever, polite and well-behaved as you say, after the initial bollocking you need to sit him down and ask him in what world he thinks that kind of statement is acceptable. He should know he's done wrong; it's if he doesn't you really need to start worrying.

 

As an aside, be aware that if my daughter was 12 and a lad said that to her, I'd be inclined to go and have a word... Not to say I'd be hunting him (or you) down with the intention of kicking the shit out him (not my style) but I'd certainly want to know what the fuck he was thinking.

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Talk to the missus beforehand and agree with her how to handle it. Then back her 100%. Maybe later you can just have a quiet word and find out where this kind of thing started. Maybe the kid who was trying to bully him has become his friend and influenced him badly? Just let your missus take the lead and back her to start with.

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I've met him, and he is a nice polite lad John.  As someone else said earlier in thread, this is something he will have picked up in the playground or - more likely - on social media.  

 

Without trying to teach you to suck eggs, he just needs to both of you to sit down with him and make sure he understands that saying this sort of thing is unacceptable, and what it must be like for the target of the remark to receive it.  I would also recommend that you propose that he apologises to the girl, to the school teacher, and to you.   

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Does he read TLW?

Only the bits I choose to show him. Primarily the summer slags thread and the porn link list.

 

Cheers for all the replies. I reckon I'm gonna step back and shake my head disapprovingly while his ma bollocks him. I'll have a quiet word later tonight like Hand Shandy suggested. On the plus side, he'll no doubt be grounded meaning I can have a beer on Friday night instead of dropping him off and picking him up from the youth club he goes to. Every cloud and all that.

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Only the bits I choose to show him. Primarily the summer slags thread and the porn link list.

 

Cheers for all the replies. I reckon I'm gonna step back and shake my head disapprovingly while his ma bollocks him. I'll have a quiet word later tonight like Hand Shandy suggested. On the plus side, he'll no doubt be grounded meaning I can have a beer on Friday night instead of dropping him off and picking him up from the youth club he goes to. Every cloud and all that.

 

Next time Stig rings you up, make sure you get to the phone first.  I think that's what did it.  

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Explain to him he is at a crossroads whilst explaining what is wrong with what he did.

 

He can either -

 

Apologise to all concerned - the girl/parents/teacher/you/his mother, and come out of it with everyone potentially thinking better of him

 

Or, do nothing and face a whole load of shit and trouble

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