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Premier League Round Up (Oct 31-Nov 2 2015)

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Weekends are boss when we win the early Saturday game. They’re even better when it’s Chelsea we beat and the entire football media train their sights on Mourinho. It’s funny how everyone now thinks he’s a bad bell when he's only behaving the way he always has.
 
He doesn’t have anybody defending his outbursts anymore though, suddenly he's not 'great copy'. It just shows you can get away with anything when you're winning, but as soon as things get a bit hairy expect them to be on you like a pack of wild dogs.

Ruud Gullit said on MOTD Jose needs to stop moaning and be “more humble”. Hahaha yeah good luck with that. May as well tell Paul Merson to be “more intelligent” or challenge Ruud himself to not keep throwing the word “also” erroneously into sentences (look out for that next time he’s on).

Chelsea losing has more impact on teams at the bottom than the top these days. Certainly Man City are no longer interested in Chelsea’s results, other than for the sheer amusement of it.

They continue to march on as they beat Norwich at the Etihad and then won 3-1 away in Europe at Sevilla. Good week for them, they’re actually top of both leagues right now, which might be the first time that’s ever happened. Maybe they're finally figuring out the CL, or maybe their group just sucks. Let's see what happens in the knock out stage.

They were a bit lucky to beat Norwich. Otamendi gave them the lead with a bullet header from a corner. Actually, speaking of bullets, I have to tell you this one before I go any further. So I got a new car this week and I only went and found a fucking bullet casing in the back seat didn’t I? I loved the car anyway, but now I’m completely buzzing off it as I might be driving around in some badass wiseguy car. By contrast, I then realised that I had left something in my old car that had gone in part ex... a Taylor Swift CD that I’d forgotten to take out of the CD player. It wasn’t mine, it was my 8 year old daughter’s, but I can neither confirm nor deny speculation that I occasionally listened to it when she wasn’t in the car.

Anyway, where was I? Yeah, Man City. Jerome equalised after an error by Hart that might not be topped by anyone other than Artur Boruc this season. Hilarious, or at least it would have been if John Ruddy hadn’t followed suit and allowed City to get out of jail with a last minute penalty. Just what the hell was he doing, the soft cunt? He’s the new Mark Schwarzer him, always makes a mistake against the top sides.

Finally on this one, I was watching Bony running around, defenders bouncing off him and him hitting shots so hard he was almost bursting the ball. He’s such a weird looking fella isn’t he? He looks like he’s three times the size of everyone else on the field, yet he’s only about six foot. He’s like a giant that’s been compressed to normal height. Six feet tall and three feet wide with a bonce that’s twice the size of a normal human head.

 

This is just a teaser, click here to view the full article

 

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Any article thats basis is football that manages to include the following words-

 

erroneously

Badass

carbonite

 

Has to be classed as journalistic maverick genius

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