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How do you predict you're going to shuffle off this mortal coil?


Sugar Ape
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I'm never ever ill. I get a sore throat and some colds now and again, but that's not really ill is it. No fillings. never broke any bones. Not seen a doctor for any illness for about 15 years. I will only go the doctors if I feel really bad, and when I'll do they'll say, "Sorry mate, there's nothing we can do." No idea what it'll be, but it'll finish me off. First and last illness. Cunt.

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I'm fairly sure one day some bit of bodging DIY will do for me. It'll either be the heavily laden shelf that sits over the head of my bed giving way, or a power tool mishap preceded by me saying "Don't worry, it'll be fine".

 

I always remember the story of some bloke who decided to try cutting a tubular steel bunk bed into two halves. He bought a fancy industrial -looking angle grinder and a cutting disc, and by way of protection he used a piece of chipboard to stop the sparks setting himself on fire. The tool span out of his hands, hit the wall, shattering the disc and sending it through the board and leaving him to figure out how to hold in his own intestines and dial 999 at the same time. He lived though.

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