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Anyone ever run a pub?


Redder Lurtz
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At the risk of being accused of electioneering again, I must point out that that is no longer the case, a change in the law having been pushed through by the Lib Dems last year.

Never knew that mate. Good move.

In terms of food being a good cook is the least of your worries. Profit on food is not just about cooking ability it is about efficiency and waste. Everything must be used nothing thrown away maximise profit every recipe costed and measured. I thought being a chef was dipping your finger in sauces and saying mmm a tad more salt I think. Till I spent a few evenings helping out in a place were it was complete organised bedlam in which I was utterly lost. My missus was the head chef and she sacked me after two nights, even though I do all the cooking at home.

 

Other option is Brake Brothers and in the oven, but everyone does that.

 

I was asked to run the bar and clubhouse at our local Golf Club and I refused. I got tons of stick and told I could do it standing on my head. My answer was that I go there for recreation, to get away from work. Last thing I want is to make my only escape another point of labour. Worth thinking about.

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It's all about location as everyone has said. Don't be sleeping on wet sales though, bottles of wine and glasses of Pepsi offer huge profit margins. You get the balance sorted on the wine list and you'll be well away. I'd love to run my own bar but I hate dealing with pissheads.

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My old local in Beverley went through about 6 landlords in about 9 years. Many failed due to either drinking the profits, being obnoxious or thinking they could employ bar staff whilst they sat on the other side of the bar. Its now shut down.

 

My tip would be to look at the type of customers you get for the area you are in and give them what they want not what you want. One of the landlords hated quizes and cancelled the friday quiz night and replaced it with karoake, it went from busy to dead in a week.

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My old local in Beverley went through about 6 landlords in about 9 years. Many failed due to either drinking the profits, being obnoxious or thinking they could employ bar staff whilst they sat on the other side of the bar. Its now shut down.

 

My tip would be to look at the type of customers you get for the area you are in and give them what they want not what you want. One of the landlords hated quizes and cancelled the friday quiz night and replaced it with karoake, it went from busy to dead in a week.

In other words normal blokes in a pub.

 

It is like any successful drug dealer I've ever known

'I don't touch that shit'. That is the only way.

 

Can you imagine running quizzes on your Friday night. Not a pint for you. You are score master, settling the inevitable post results argument.

 

Lose lose situation. The pub is full but they are not drinking. Drinkers stay away 'Fuck that there is a quiz on in there tonight'

 

Funny story interlude

When I first moved into my country abode from Bootle I'd never been in a pub quiz. When I walked into one of only three pubs within 40 miles at the tie breaker and they asked the question.

I shouted out the answer....as you do when someone asks a question I caused mayham

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Avoid at all costs!

 

If you can afford freehold then fine, but if not you'll end up working 100hr weeks which actually costs you to work. The pub co's screw you over at any given opportunity; example they'll charge you x5 the price of a barrel if you were to buy independently and you are tied to their beer, and therefore prices!

 

If dealing with dickheads, sharks, long days, no holidays, no days off as you have to be near premises at all times, staff being cunts, bills which you can't pay, incurring debt for chasing your 'dream', arsehole companies and all manner of other life destroying things sounds like your idea of fun go for it!

 

It really is a mugs game, and there will always be plenty of mugs willing to chase the 'dream'...

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It's a legal requirement to hold a basic food hygiene certificate I think. It's a one-day course and it'll give me all the storage info, which chopping boards tpo use for which food types etc.

 

In my role as assistant manager, we had a complete tool used to come in and throw his weight about like a massive gobshite. The lad who was working in the kitchen one particular day took the nobhead's order for a spicy chicken burger. He cooked it, let it cool and wiped it all over the crack of his arse before reheating it and placing it neatly in the bread bun. We could barely conceal our mirth as we watched him from a distance as he munched on his arsewiped spicy chicken burger. Good times.

I assume you wont be selling

Spicy chicken burger ......

 

Get a nice little foodie place and we will all give you positive reviews on trip advisor. Set you up from the off unless you completely screw it up. Them types of establishments thrive off trip advisor.

 

Good food means good profit margins = the good life.

 

 

Ignore those saying its a mugs game. If you take over a run down, bevvy only, old mans drinking pub with a coke fuelled disco on a Friday night then yeah it is. A nice foodie place with decent ales and some trees nearby sounds great.

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Avoid at all costs!

 

If you can afford freehold then fine, but if not you'll end up working 100hr weeks which actually costs you to work. The pub co's screw you over at any given opportunity; example they'll charge you x5 the price of a barrel if you were to buy independently and you are tied to their beer, and therefore prices!

 

If dealing with dickheads, sharks, long days, no holidays, no days off as you have to be near premises at all times, staff being cunts, bills which you can't pay, incurring debt for chasing your 'dream', arsehole companies and all manner of other life destroying things sounds like your idea of fun go for it!

 

It really is a mugs game, and there will always be plenty of mugs willing to chase the 'dream'...

 

Cracking advice that. Cheers.

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Cracking advice that. Cheers.

I'd love to run a boozer where food is limited to half-time butties and the odd plate of sausage rolls at Friday tea-time. And money can be made that way. Keep out the riff-raff, look after your regulars (but don't indulge them too much), keep a great cellar, have the f******l on and get a couple of birds with big tits and a dirty laugh behind the bar and you're laughing.
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The pub co's screw you over at any given opportunity; example they'll charge you x5 the price of a barrel if you were to buy independently and you are tied to their beer, and therefore prices!

 

Sometimes I wonder why I bother.

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 A nice foodie place with decent ales and some trees nearby sounds great.

 

As a rule, I refuse to go anywhere near a pub with trees nearby, absolutely terrifying stuff & easily the worst suggestion I have ever seen in my life.

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Sometimes I wonder why I bother.

Sorry, I ran a pub a couple of years ago before the condems made the competitions committee take a look at this monopoly.

 

Anyhows that was just one of the pratfalls. Another example then. If you're making a go of it, as I was, doing ok, nothing special but food on the table. You will get screwed over at your annual review, or however long your contract is. The pub co's have a habit of raising you rent to, suspiciously, where you profit celing is!

 

Genuinely, if you can get a freehold, or work for a decent brewery, which are few and far between, then go for it, but if not you're on a hiding to nothing.

 

Ran pubs/bars for a few years and all I got out of it were stress, debt, hassle.

 

Fantastic couple of years as a young single bloke with a pub though!

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Im the same about shops near car-parks. And traffic lights. Gut wrenching.

 

 

No seriously why?

 

Trees were planted near boozers by aliens millions of years ago to keep guard of their alien drinking ways & empty crisp packets, which double up as human vulnerability location units.

 

When they clock that you're drunk, it's fucking probe city, imagine being a 6 year old at a Conservative party conference after-party & multiply it by ten.

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