Times when life just fucks you over.

[Bjornebye]

On 19/07/2015 at 10:39, Bjornebye said:

I did a wet fart in a pub one lunchtime. Went for a massive squirty shit and had to lob my bills on top of the cistern and go commando for the remainder.

I posted this in 2015. Little did I know that over the next 4 years life would chew me up and spit me right out the fucking bastard. 

[TheHowieLama]

I got a flat tire today.

[Bobby Hundreds]

Human history from the birth of language, every civilisation, every empire from the wheel to putting men on the moon. All those ages, generations, life time after life time and I'm alive at the same time Trump and Boris are leaders of their respective countries. Its fucking embarrassing.

[Elite]

.

[Rico1304]

40 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Human history from the birth of language, every civilisation, every empire from the wheel to putting men on the moon. All those ages, generations, life time after life time and I'm alive at the same time Trump and Boris are leaders of their respective countries. Its fucking embarrassing.

It’s also the safest time to be alive since life began. But you carry on moaning on your internet. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

7 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

It’s also the safest time to be alive since life began. But you carry on moaning on your internet. 

Yeah because I'm not taking the piss.

[VladimirIlyich]

13 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

It’s also the safest time to be alive since life began. But you carry on moaning on your internet. 

Not if you live in Iraq,Afghanistan,Libya,Syria,Saudi Arabia and a whole host of other places we choose to ignore.

[Rico1304]

51 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Not if you live in Iraq,Afghanistan,Libya,Syria,Saudi Arabia and a whole host of other places we choose to ignore.

It is.  That’s just a fact.  

[Bobby Hundreds]

I'm more than aware it's the safest time to be alive in human history for far more people than ever before. I read a book recommended on here years ago about the reduction in violence even decade by decade, let alone generation to generation. Fucked if I can remember what it was though.

 

My post didn't mention anything about it being the worst time to be alive, the most dangerous time to be alive, I thought I couldn't make it any more obvious it was a hyperbole post on how embarrassing trump and Boris are.

[Bjornebye]

16 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

I'm more than aware it's the safest time to be alive in human history for far more people than ever before. I read a book recommended on here years ago about the reduction in violence even decade by decade, let alone generation to generation. Fucked if I can remember what it was though.

 

My post didn't mention anything about it being the worst time to be alive, the most dangerous time to be alive, I thought I couldn't make it any more obvious it was a hyperbole post on how embarrassing trump and Boris are.

You know what you said pal 

[VladimirIlyich]

10 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

It is.  That’s just a fact.  

A fact? How can this be measured? Medically? I'd probably agree,but surely this is dependent on who you are and where you live?

[Rico1304]

2 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

A fact? How can this be measured? Medically? I'd probably agree,but surely this is dependent on who you are and where you live?

Ok. If we agree the murder rate is down, but you get murdered subjectively it’s not good for you.  But the murder rate is still down.

 

There are fewer wars, there is better medical care. It’s undeniable. 

[Bjornebye]

Can we get back to talking about life fucking us over please? 

[Bjornebye]

Who had it worse anyway Des'ree or Alanis Morrisette 

 

 

 

 

[Rico1304]

7 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Can we get back to talking about life fucking us over please? 

My butler has got crabs again 

[General Dryness]

1 minute ago, Rico1304 said:

My butler has got crabs again 

My wallet is too small for my fifties and my diamond shoes are too tight.

[Numero Veinticinco]

On 25/07/2019 at 17:44, Sugar Ape said:

Just about to leave the house for the pub when the Mrs brings the baby in from nursery and the baby runs over for a hug. 

 

Let go of her and realise I’m covered in fucking multicoloured glitter all over my arms and clothes. Had another shower and the fucking glitter still won’t come off so I’m going to have to go the pub looking like I’m off to Pride.

 

On the plus side I look even more fabulous than usual.

It’s the amount of lipstick you wear that worries me. 

[A Red]

An old female school friend, that i have had little contact with, has bought a house down the road from us. Bit of a coincidence as its 240 miles from where we grew up and she has lived all of her life . We met her in the local tonight and the woman that her ex husband ran off with 15 years ago was sitting at the end of the bar and apparently now lives a mile away. Not sure who looked more fucked over.

[Bjornebye]

30 minutes ago, A Red said:

An old female school friend, that i have had little contact with, has bought a house down the road from us. Bit of a coincidence as its 240 miles from where we grew up and she has lived all of her life . We met her in the local tonight and the woman that her ex husband ran off with 15 years ago was sitting at the end of the bar and apparently now lives a mile away. Not sure who looked more fucked over.

Get both of them goosed. Life in the fast lane. 

[General Dryness]

13 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Get both of them goosed. Life in the fast lane. 

Fucking hell Stig, that menage a trois would carry more baggage than an A380.

[Pureblood]

She's back, get over it.