Worst of the TLW Era - YOU decide: Strikers

[tlw content]

With the 100th and final issue of ‘The Liverpool Way’ fast approaching we’re looking to get your input on a series of articles featuring ‘the best and worst of’ the TLW era, which spans from August 1999 when the first issue was printed, to now as we prepare to declare once reaching a century.

 

You’ve already voted for your best team of the last 16 years and the worst is now almost complete too. All that remains is to decide on the front two, so pick the worst from this little lot and the two with the most votes get in.

 

 

 

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[Russ Atmosphere]

Carroll the shittest value, since ever. Aspas the actual shittest.

[etho]

Diouf for me. When Houllier lost the plot completely, didn't sign Anelka and we ended up with this joker. Never even played up front did he, was shunted out to the right wing.

 

I remember Carra said he was the worst player he ever played with. And he's a complete tit.

[Jairzinho]

Diouf, clearly is the biggest bellend. That said, at least with him, Borini, Aspas, and Voronin they were bought (at least to some degree) as squad players. Carroll and Balotelli, however, were bought to be the fucking man. Despite Carroll costing twice as much, and having more laughably shit moments, he at least gave the impression that he gave something resembling a shit. I've grown to despise Balotelli and it is for that reason that I am allowing heart to rule over head here (as he's got more technical ability than the other five put together) and picking him.

 

Fuck you, Mario. Fuck you. 

[El Rojo]

Diouf for me. When Houllier lost the plot completely, didn't sign Anelka and we ended up with this joker. Never even played up front did he, was shunted out to the right wing.

 

I remember Carra said he was the worst player he ever played with. And he's a complete tit.

 

A nasty piece of work, maybe, but he had a tiny bit of talent and 'only' cost around £10m.

 

I always found the Anelka thing a bit of a red herring anyway. He wasn't exactly exceptional during his time with us and he was hardly the kind of player to bolster team spirit.

 

I went with Aspas, because of those in the list he offered absolutely nothing. And that corner.

 

That said, paying £35m for an injured, unproven Carroll is still a staggering move.

[Bjornebye]

Andy Carroll destroyed Man City, scored the winner against the blue-shite in the cup semi final and changed the game when he came on against Chelsea. Its not his fault he cost 35 million. Oh and remember who bought him.  He isn't close to being the worst in that list.

 

Balotelli hasn't been used properly. I reckon he is more talented than 90% of our squad. He isn't the worst in that list.

 

Voronin was fucking utter shit garbage. At a time when a few key signings would have seen us be world beaters we signed this pile of pony tailed shit. That said.... he isn't the worst in that list.

 

Aspas is probably the shittest player on that list. he would also lose in a fight against all of them. the shit cunt looks like Ayre and that corner nearly cost my bird her life. He still isn't the worst.

 

Diouf. The biggest shit cunt we have ever had at the club. I am embarrassed we ever let him wear a red shirt. His subsequent teams (R*ngers..Leeds....) summed that horrible spitting scum-bag classless cunt right up. the way he behaved when he was at this club was a disgrace. he was 10 times worse north of the border and di his best on more than one occasion to incite a riot at Celtic park. Complete fuckwit of a human being (if you can even call him human). He looks like a cross between jet-li's character in the first Rush Hour and the alien from the alien movies. There is no other choice. Fucking little rat.

[Russ Atmosphere]

[Boss]

There is but one... Andy Carroll. 

 

 

If you recall, after a completely bogus story was put around the media about a very large Tottenham bid for the Bensham Bomber, Liverpool’s first bid for Andy Carroll was a lowly £30 million (what on earth were they smoking that day???). When one fan asked Llambias if he thought that Andy Carroll was worth that amount, Llambias replied:

“No – he’s worth f*** all.”

The potty mouthed M.D. then went on to brag in a vulgar fashion about how he and Ashley took “control” of the hapless Merseyside club, who had just sold their previous star number 9, Fernando Torres, for a English transfer record busting £50 million to Chelsea. On this he added:

“It is about control. We had the control. We knew the Torres deal was there. We drew that f****** deal, perhaps the ultimate.”

On his response to Liverpool’s £30 million offer the odious little man continued:

“So £30m? F*** off! Don’t waste my time and I slammed the phone down.

“£35m? Everybody including Pardew all agreed.

Then, detailing how he and Ashley turned the screw still further, he bragged on:

“But the £35m they wanted to pay over four years. It was rubbish. Mike (Ashley) said — and he is a brave boy Mike I promise you — get all the £35m up front.

“We got it all up front and then they never paid us on time and we charged them 12 grand f****** interest.”

[Dr Nowt]

Diouf is my most disliked Liverpool player ever, so he's what I'd love to give his face; a shoo-in.

 

Biffa or THE MAN WHO LFD DID NOT WANT. It is something to tax the minds of history's greatest philosophers. Both helped destroy excellent, fast-flowing attacking outfits by their mere presence and are all-time joke buys for everyone else to laugh at.

 

Both drew more attention for their off-field exploits while in our first-team squad and shall we say appear to be less than stellar professionals. Then you've got "Why always me" versus "You need a bit of that" as two of the most overused phrases in football.

 

I can't split them, so will spare Biffa as he scored a semi-final winning goal against the Bitters in their biggest game of the millennium and we at least managed to claw back half his price, while Balotelli will be stinking things up like fish left down the back of the sofa until the end of his contract, and was simply the absolute anti-Suarez during his fleeting appearances.

[rubble-rouser]

Voronin by an absolute mile, despite that one wonder-goal. Then Aspas. 

 

Neither has ever had any discernible attributes. Diouf is a cunt and was shit but was better than those two clowns. 

 

Gas mask Crenshaw from  the grumbleweeds would have been better suited to our needs than those two dickwads. 

[The Golden Eel]

Aspas is the worst player I've seen play for Liverpool, so I'll have to vote for him.  

 

Can't vote for Carroll, shit signing, but FA Cup winner against Everton, nuff said.  Voronin was actually half decent at first, so I'm not voting him either.  Borini never had a proper chance, so not him.

 

So, either Diouf or Balotelli.  Has to be Diouf, all things considered.

 

Aspas and Diouf 

[The Golden Eel]

Goddam, only vote for one.  I voted Diouf then but I wanted to vote Aspas

[Red House]

Voronin by an absolute mile, despite that one wonder-goal. Then Aspas. 

Voronin was also our best player in that demolition of Besiktas. Didn't he get like four assists that day? So, that with the Toulouse game make it two more good games than Aspas ever had for us.

[Trumo]

These threads are just about the dross we've signed since 1999. It almost makes you weep if you have to think as far back as Kenny's first managerial reign.

[Red House]

These threads are just about the dross we've signed since 1999. It almost makes you weep if you have to think as far back as Kenny's first managerial reign.

[alles ist gut]

Sadly missed out on being eligible by a matter of days, otherwise he'd have been a strong contender.

[Bjornebye]

I didn't even notice Borini in that list. Fucking hell we have had some tripe play for us.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Aspas.

 

I remember saying in pre-season that he looked like the player Borini was supposed to be. He had that air of a chippy little cunt who'd never stop running and, from the obligatory YouTube compilations, seemed to have a bit of side to him. 

 

The I saw him play in a competitive match. He had almost no uses. He couldn't go shoulder to shoulder with anyone, didn't have the pace to run beyond them, and his delivery... fucking hell, that corner.

 

Somewhere, in the lowest circle of hell, there'll forever be a Jovanoic trying head an Aspas corner.

[Dave D]

I didn't even notice Borini in that list. Fucking hell we have had some tripe play for us.

 

 

We have some tripe PLAYING for us.....

[Ted]

I need time to think about this.

 

All cunts.

[njackets]

The answer is Aspas, I don't know why people have factored in transfer fees and likabilities into there voting into these polls, people should be voting on how players performed in a red shirt and be judging on that only.

[Juan Galonso]

Diouf and Aspas. Diouf was such a hateable cunt who's ability was nowhere near what he thought it was. At least Balotelli has a bit of weird charm and mystery about him. Aspas just ran around a lot and just looked like a guy off the street who'd won a competition to play.

[Original202]

Diouf and Aspas are easily the two worst number 9s in our history.

 

7 goals in 94 appearances between them. In fact, they're the only two players to wear the number nine and not score a league goal in a single season aren't they?

[AngryOfTuebrook]

If I could vote twice, it'd be the two answers to the question "Which Liverpool Number 9 went a whole season without scoring a league goal?"

 

As I've only got one vote, it's gone to the man Gerard Houllier described (rightly) as his greatest mistake.

 

We all know the one towering moment of genius which gives Aspas the right to run Diouf close.

 

Voronin always flattered to deceive, being a pre-season Messi and all.  

 

I always wanted Borini to succeed because I think his (seldom seen) goal celebration is pretty cool.

 

Andy Carroll looks like Alan Shearer in that company.

 

[Edit] I forgot to comment on Balotelli.  On the list or on the pitch, I either don't notice his presence or I prefer not to think about it.  A giant sack of "meh" and possibly the slowest-thinking striker I have ever seen.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Diouf and Aspas are easily the two worst number 9s in our history.

 

7 goals in 94 appearances between them. In fact, they're the only two players to wear the number nine and not score a league goal in a single season aren't they?

I just posted my selection without reading this.

Correct on all counts.