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Should the UK remain a member of the EU

  

307 members have voted

  1. 1. Should the UK remain a member of the EU

    • Yes
      250
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These posts are becoming a re occurring theme around the forum hey Piston?

Negged

1) for making reoccurring two words

2) for attempting to write reoccurring when you mean recurring

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Brexit Britain is desperate for a decent genesis myth

Stewart Lee

 

We are entering a second dark age. But the light that flickers on the screens of our iPhones, from a five-second clip of a dog sliding on some ice, is blinding us to the encroaching blackness.

Our civilisation teeters at the abyss. We are 8th-century Lindisfarne monks, spotting black Viking sails on the horizon and hurrying to hide our illuminated manuscripts, before shaving our hair into tonsures to look less desirable to frustrated seafarers.

But barbarians come in many guises. Having farmed out the act of examining children to independent companies, plans are now in place to stop offering A-levels in art history and archaeology to a relatively small customer base, or schoolchildren, as they used to be called.

The canary in the mine of British cultural life just expired. But who were these so-called “canaries” anyway, with their elitist lungs, presuming to warn of us of supposedly dangerous gas?

Where will tomorrow’s archaeologists come from? Who will carry out all the investigations needed as trophy infrastructure projects pulverise our buried history, destroying it for ever?

Planet of the Apes is based on the satire La Planète des singes, written by a Frenchman and so now inadmissible

Brexit Britain doesn’t care. Historians and archaeologists are just more “experts”, slowing down our thrilling progress towards the cliff, with their cumbersome facts and obstructive understanding.

 

Surely some ideas are inherently valuable in and of themselves. There could be no clearer example of the extent to which we have lost our way than the abandonment of art history and archaeology. Unless perhaps the new education secretary, Justine Greening, were to go on a long symbolic quest to seek the mythical holy grail and, having found the talismanic object, ancient vessel of incalculable wisdom and understanding, shat in it.

 

The downward spiral continues. Beneath its calculatedly contentious opinion pieces, the online version of the Daily Telegraph offers its digi-consumers the opportunity to agree with one of three off-the-peg notions. There are few more reliable indicators of the rapidly escalating banality of the world. The clouds descend.

 

Asked “Was the Norman conquest a good thing?”, seven-and-a-half thousand of the Daily Telegraph’s purple-faced readers thought it worth clicking either “Yes. It made us what we are today”, “No! Throw off the Norman yoke”, or “Who knows? It happened. That’s all there is to say”. The last option, a presumably deliberate literary irony, economically expresses the fatalistic worldview common to Anglo-Saxon poetry, which the Norman conquest subsequently supplanted with its dry Gallic insouciance.

 

The question in question related to a humorous thinkpiece by the Brexit cheerleader and Daily Telegraph blogger Dan “Dan” Hannananananan, who was named “10th most influential person on the centre-right in the United Kingdom” by the Daily Telegraph in 2009.

 

This genuine chart, which really exists, found Dan “Dan” Hannananananan only nine positions away from the coveted “most influential person on the centre-right in the United Kingdom” trophy, a small mirror on a stick that can be slid into the public’s brains through their ears to reflect what people are really thinking but dare not say, because of political correctness gone mad and Gary Lineker’s leftwing thought police.

 

But by 2011, Dan “Dan” Hannananananan had fallen 28 places to be merely the 38th most influential person on the centre-right in the United Kingdom, like some kind of Enoch Powell-admiring elevator tumbling down the broken lift shaft of centre-right influence.

 

Nevertheless, Dan “Dan” Hannananananan’s role in delivering the pro-Brexit result in the recent national anti-immigration referendum will surely see him zoom up to the top of the “most influential person on the centre-right in the United Kingdom” chart this year.

1884.jpg?w=300&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&f
 

 Illustration by David Foldvari.

 

Most awards ceremonies are interminable, but the “most influential person on the centre-right in the United Kingdom” event is one I’d love to attend, if only to see Dan “Dan” Hannananananan navigate the complexities of the finger buffet with the same decorum with which he steered a course through the national anti-immigration referendum and £350m-a-week NHS funding vote.

 

Dan “Dan” Hannananananan’s Daily Telegraph column of earlier this month, entitled “The Norman Conquest Was a Disaster for England. We Should Celebrate Naseby, Not Hastings”, argued that the Norman conquest of 1066 was a disaster for England and suggested we should celebrate the battle of Naseby and not the battle of Hastings.

 

Dan “Dan” Hannananananan, who studied history at Oxford, sees pre-Norman conquest England as an idyllic utopia, which then became “clenched in a mailed fist. Men were required by law to work on their lord’s estates and forbidden to leave without his permission”. Dan “Dan” Hannananananan could almost be describing the plans his co-Brexiter Jeremy Hunt has for junior doctors.

I wonder if it made much difference to the 11th-century English serf whether his face was being ground into the dirt by a sturdy Anglo-Saxon boot or slapped humiliatingly with a decadent French slipper.

 

To be fair to Dan “Dan” Hannananananan, who is a very intelligent man, I don’t think his essay was entirely serious, although I agree with him that it’s time the 11th-century Normans were given a good kicking. Like his co-Brexiter Boris Johnson’s leaked pro-Europe Daily Telegraph column, the piece reads on some level like a deliberate satire of clanking propaganda.

 
 
 
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 ‘United by the clacking of bowling balls’: Alan Partridge on Britishness post-Brexit – audio

All cultures need genesis myths. Odin and his brothers made the first men from trees. The Haida raven cracked humanity out of a clamshell. But Brexit Britain, birthed in still-steaming divisions, does not have one. Dan “Dan” Hannananananan is reaching back to find a serviceable national story.

 

In 1136, Geoffrey of Monmouth wrote his History of the Kings of Britain, which disinterred the King Arthur tales as if they were fact and sent the barely existent monarch on foreign military excursions, invented to provide precedents for the policies of the recently deceased Henry I and to bind the country with a potent national myth.

 

The movie Planet of the Apes is based on the satire La Planète des singes, which was written by a Frenchman, Pierre Boulle, and so is now inadmissible. In it, history is rewritten to erase human civilisation by a despotic orangutan, like a Brexiter, but sharing more human DNA. Underneath the shattered Statue of Liberty, Charlton Heston finds a human doll that says “Mama”. “Would an ape make a human doll that talks?” he asks, through gritted teeth.

 

It is the year 2040. I stand on a Scottish island, having fled my much changed homeland. In the museum, my granddaughter finds a toy of a Tower of London guard. “Beefeater!” she says, “Beef! Beef!” And I think about etymology, and the history Dan “Dan” Hannananananan cannot quite rewrite.

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I read a report from the Guardian this morning and this quote caught my eye. (the whole article can be found here https://www.theguardian.com/business/2016/oct/30/nissan-eu-tariff-free-brexit-sunderland )

A key question for May will now be whether she is willing for the UK to continue paying into the EU budget in order to secure tariff-free trade without bureaucratic customs checks.

Nadhim Zahawi, a leading Brexit supporter and Conservative MP for Stratford-upon-Avon, wrote in the Mail on Sunday that paying a proportion of the UK’s annual £8.5bn would be worth it for favourable trading arrangements combined with freedom from the EU’s immigration rules and the jurisdiction of its courts.

“I was one of those who campaigned to leave, but the government should be absolutely clear that our motive is not for the European Union to fail – we just don’t think it is right for us,” he wrote.

“That is why we should pay a proportion of the £8.5bn that we will save through leaving back into its budget. We should help bridge some of the EU’s funding gap, but only on the condition that the EU delivers our demand of providing British businesses with tariff-free access to the single market.”

None of this lot are right in the head. And we've got them in charge of negotiating the future of our nation.

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None of this lot are right in the head. And we've got them in charge of negotiating the future of our nation.

 

It's clear from the start they had no plan, they are now just making it up as they go along and relying/hoping that the EU will just bend over and let the UK fuck them, it isn't going to happen though. 

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Not really, fancy quoting them all so we can form a true picture? 

 

 

You're a star, mate. Do you 'fancy' the exact same challenge I set you last night? When you're brave enough to do that you might have the right to ask others to do the same. You won't though because when you look through your previous posts you'll see plenty of bile and nastiness and will stop right there.

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Negged

1) for making reoccurring two words

2) for attempting to write reoccurring when you mean recurring

 

Speaking of internet warriors - you're quick to criticise the style of others' writing. How about YOU answering the question I set you after your tirade at me? Prove you are smarter than you sounded? 

 

Waiting to hear from you...

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I read a report from the Guardian this morning and this quote caught my eye. (the whole article can be found here https://www.theguardian.com/business/2016/oct/30/nissan-eu-tariff-free-brexit-sunderland )

 

A key question for May will now be whether she is willing for the UK to continue paying into the EU budget in order to secure tariff-free trade without bureaucratic customs checks.

Nadhim Zahawi, a leading Brexit supporter and Conservative MP for Stratford-upon-Avon, wrote in the Mail on Sunday that paying a proportion of the UK’s annual £8.5bn would be worth it for favourable trading arrangements combined with freedom from the EU’s immigration rules and the jurisdiction of its courts.

“I was one of those who campaigned to leave, but the government should be absolutely clear that our motive is not for the European Union to fail – we just don’t think it is right for us,” he wrote.

“That is why we should pay a proportion of the £8.5bn that we will save through leaving back into its budget. We should help bridge some of the EU’s funding gap, but only on the condition that the EU delivers our demand of providing British businesses with tariff-free access to the single market.”

So, does Brexit mean Brexit or not?

 

This is where the whole notion of "the people have spoken" falls down.  The 52% didn't vote en bloc to marginally reduce contributions to the EU in exchange for access to the Single Market; nor did they vote en bloc to damage the economy by closing the borders to all immigrants; nor did they vote en bloc to allow the 27 EU nations to set the standards that UK exporters have to adhere to, with no input from the UK; nor did they vote en bloc to strike a blow for the workers against corporate capitalism; in fact, they didn't vote en bloc for anything.  So nothing the Government does now comes with the weight of any sort of mandate.

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Silverlining was intelligent and evil. Theclap is thick as one short plank.

Wasn't his job title at The Scum "Head of Thinking" or something equally preposterous?

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So, does Brexit mean Brexit or not?

 

This is where the whole notion of "the people have spoken" falls down.  The 52% didn't vote en bloc to marginally reduce contributions to the EU in exchange for access to the Single Market; nor did they vote en bloc to damage the economy by closing the borders to all immigrants; nor did they vote en bloc to allow the 27 EU nations to set the standards that UK exporters have to adhere to, with no input from the UK; nor did they vote en bloc to strike a blow for the workers against corporate capitalism; in fact, they didn't vote en bloc for anything.  So nothing the Government does now comes with the weight of any sort of mandate.

 

I think we can all agree they are at the undecided so lets throw a ton of shite at the wall stage, i think Brexit to them means shit your pants time. 

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Quite a telling comment from Martin Sorrel at the end of his interview with the Beeb. "We are basing our business decisions on the UK being out of the EU therefore taking the opportunity to grow it in the US India and elsewhere"...I'm sure Patrick Minford said that these were the types of businesses that would flourish after Brexit so why is WPP not focusing on growth in the UK?

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Silverlining was intelligent and evil. Theclap is thick as one short plank.

Silverlining is a boring poisonous S*n employed try hard cunt who is wrong about nearly everything. He is still giving our players shit nicknames and is desperately clinging onto his opinion that a certain Brazilian forward of ours with dazzling teeth is terrible and incapable of ever scoring. He does use a lot of big words unnecessarily but I'm not that convinced of his actual intelligence.
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It was Head Of Strategy.

Is right,  For News International

You can get as much as you want on him if you google his name which was was common knowledge at the time of his departure,

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The S*n is at it's lowest sales for a long time by the way. This has it as the lowest sales in 43 years but it is a couple of years old so probably 45 years now.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/media/greenslade/2014/nov/07/sun-abcs

 

They have stopped charging for the online version and are losing loads of advertising due to adblockers and rather ironically Brexit itself.

 

http://www.campaignlive.co.uk/article/brexit-reaction-ad-industry-rocked-uk-vote-leave-eu/1400073

 

He went fucking apeshit last time I pointed it out to him.

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Is that twat still allowed on a Liverpool forum?

Sixcrazyminutes invited him back on. He's currently making a right twat of himself though so it's pretty funny. His narcissism refuses to accept any instance of him being wrong so he is currently clinging onto his belief that our Brazilian Bobby Dazzler is a load of shite. "Fat fucking melt" is where he started and must now defend it to the death.

 

Fat fucking melt is particularly funny if you have ever seen a picture of Brendan/Silverlining and compare it to Bobby ripping his shirt off on Saturday.

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Sixcrazyminutes invited him back on. He's currently making a right twat of himself though so it's pretty funny. His narcissism refuses to accept any instance of him being wrong so he is currently clinging onto his belief that our Brazilian Bobby Dazzler is a load of shite. "Fat fucking melt" is where he started and must now defend it to the death.

Fat fucking melt is particularly funny if you have ever seen a picture of Brendan/Silverlining and compare it to Bobby ripping his shirt off on Saturday.

How is he surviving on any Liverpool forum that know who he is? His job is to figure out the strategy behind linking ad sales to the lies that the rag spin - "we're going big on immigrants stealing jobs this week so make sure the baseball bat manufacturers are informed"

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