Should the UK remain a member of the EU

[Guest Pistonbroke]

 

'Anyway, Boris. I can categorically say that it won't matter what lies we publish, the majority of the voting public think you are a bumbling fucking idiot! 

[rubble-rouser]

19 hours ago, Trumo said:

 

It came as quite a surprise when Zed emerged as the unanimous choice to succeed Commandant Lassard.

 

 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Just replace the woman with a puppy. 

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

"mAsTErFUl pOLiTiCKinG" 

 

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/sep/06/boris-johnsons-irish-border-plan-stalls-disastrous-eu-brexit-backstop-talks

[Guest Pistonbroke]

1 minute ago, Nelly-Torres said:

"mAsTErFUl pOLiTiCKinG" 

 

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/sep/06/boris-johnsons-irish-border-plan-stalls-disastrous-eu-brexit-backstop-talks

 

As if the EU would have been fooled by that load of bollocks. 

[Moo]

18 hours ago, Boss said:

 

Yeah, because it's not about Tory vs Labour. It's about Brexit vs Remain.

Really, that illustrates exactly why there should not be a general election at this time. 

There needs to be another referendum, this time legally operated and legally binding, non-binary and with realistic options.  If no one has changed their mind then Leavers will have nothing to fear. 

[Bjornebye]

8 minutes ago, Moo said:

Really, that illustrates exactly why there should not be a general election at this time. 

There needs to be another referendum, this time legally operated and legally binding, non-binary and with realistic options.  If no one has changed their mind then Leavers will have nothing to fear. 

All they need to do is what they should have done in the first place. Go to the EU. Agree terms of withdrawal and then put them terms (In Full) to the public . Lose the vote and everyone carries on as normal. 

 

I'm starting to think Brexit is all a smoke-screen for something far more sinister. 

[Captain Turdseye]

7 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

 

I'm starting to think Brexit is all a smoke-screen for something far more sinister. 

 

Read AoT’s link. 

 

10 hours ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

Decent little summary of where we are and how we got here.

 

https://www.quora.com/Why-are-Remainers-so-convinced-that-staying-in-the-European-Union-is-what-is-best-for-the-UK/answer/Barry-McGuinness-1?ch=1&share=a9239dc8&srid=3SneA&fbclid=IwAR25u7rnTkfdlKfd4wQYKSQ17kFmCsXqWWGZnd9runwZtsX1kMEejZ8GPSk

 

(Even shorter version - Tories are cunts.)

 

[magicrat]

9 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

All they need to do is what they should have done in the first place. Go to the EU. Agree terms of withdrawal and then put them terms (In Full) to the public . Lose the vote and everyone carries on as normal. 

 

I'm starting to think Brexit is all a smoke-screen for something far more sinister. 

Couldn't possibly be a massive tax dodge for the mega rich

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

Sigh... 

 

 

Katy Balls

@katyballs

New: Tonight’s No. 10 meeting: Dominic Cummings told government aides they needed to be ‘cool like fonzies’ - he said that that ‘this is only the beginning’ and the strategy was to wait for others to melt while No10 rachet it up.

[cloggypop]

1 minute ago, Nelly-Torres said:

Sigh... 

 

 

Katy Balls

@katyballs

New: Tonight’s No. 10 meeting: Dominic Cummings told government aides they needed to be ‘cool like fonzies’ - he said that that ‘this is only the beginning’ and the strategy was to wait for others to melt while No10 rachet it up.

Tell the cunt he's well jumped the shark

[skend04]

41 minutes ago, Nelly-Torres said:

Sigh... 

 

 

Katy Balls

@katyballs

New: Tonight’s No. 10 meeting: Dominic Cummings told government aides they needed to be ‘cool like fonzies’ - he said that that ‘this is only the beginning’ and the strategy was to wait for others to melt while No10 rachet it up.

Masterful politicking. Or was he pissed on the job again?

[sir roger]

Love Marina Hyde in the Guardian

 

Why do people still call it a Tory “split” on Europe? It’s not a split: it’s an episiotomy. The Tory episiotomy on Europe went septic this week as Boris Johnson expelled 21 MPs, including two former chancellors and his hero Winston Churchill’s grandson; lost his own brother in a tale we’ll call Cain and Far More Able; and gave a speech so hallucinatorily bad it whiteyed a policewoman. At the current rate, even Robert Caro will only need a week to write this Johnson biography.

 

Then again, Johnson might get a majority, and we’ll look back on these as the good old days. More on the prospect of that banter-apocalypse later.

 

For now, it feels remarkable to think that barely five weeks ago, the vast majority of Tory MPs were telling us Boris Johnson was the only possible answer to various questions. It turns out those questions were: “How would Dudley Dursley and Draco Malfoy’s baby look and behave?”, “What if you shaved the Honey Monster and put him in a suit for a court appearance?” and “Does anyone know the ancient Greek for shitting the bed?”.

 

Despite practising since boyhood, Boris Johnson’s entire demeanour is that of a man who has won a competition to lead the country for a day. He is Mike Bassett: England Prime Minister, yet wheels out jokes he’s done 437 times before as though he’s Frank Sinatra and reckons the crowd can’t wait to see him do My Way again. Johnson must be the only performer whose audience spends his gigs screaming: PLEASE, DO YOUR NEW STUFF.

 

Physically, he seems in a remarkable state. Apart from looking like he cuts his hair with the bacon scissors, the PM’s shtick is bizarre and juddering, as though some of his innards are trying to escape. Perhaps they have found the tension between the bodily functions they are required to provide and the national interest unresolvable.

Oratorically, his PMQs debut merits a mere five-word review: “Welcome to the Commons, bitch.” As a dispatch box artiste, Johnson has all the accomplishment of one of those pisshead chancers who go house to house at 10pm in December and “carol sing” for pub money. His delivery was that of a man finding out in real time that material which slayed at the accountancy corporate he did in 2007 is less well received by those who haven’t drunk themselves to within an hour of renal failure. That is as much as 30% of the House of Commons. I’d give it a fortnight before Theresa May is waving an ironic “WENGER IN” banner behind him.

As for his turns away from Westminster, Thursday afternoon found him at a Yorkshire police academy, where he appeared deeply confused. He resembled a political Elvis – twilight years – who’d had to be slapped awake on the tour bus by his manager, given some of his special medicine, and shoved on to greet the LA crowd with the words “Hello Philadelphia!” This, but in Wakefield.

 

Having very belatedly taken the stage, Johnson proceeded to die on his arse in front of rows of police officers. Does this technically count as a death in custody? Certainly, it bore all the hallmarks of such an event, of which there have been 1,718 since 1990, with not a single conviction for murder or manslaughter. Which is to say: it was brutal and disturbing, it happened right in front of multiple police pretending not to notice, and the victim was officially concluded to have done it to himself. (Thank you in advance to the Police Federation for their forthcoming letters on this paragraph. I’ll make time to to read them when I retire at 50 after three years on the sick.)

 

There is much discussion about what really “cut through” this week, with Johnson’s greatest shits collection set against such viral delights as a factual yet simultaneously car-crash delineation of Labour’s Brexit policy by Emily Thornberry on Question Time. It is quite something to be got the better of by fellow panellist Richard Tice, a sort of radicalised Damart catalogue model, but the shadow foreign secretary managed it.

As for Jacob Rees-Mogg, the leader of the House of Commons, his insolent frontbench loll-about is still lighting up Facebook. I’m not going to go full ad hominem on Nanny, who was probably only following orders, but I do think the time has come when we all have to ask: has anyone EVER done a worse job and stayed in post longer? She’s still there! Jesus Christ, Nanny: YOU HAD ONE JOB. Teach him some manners, yes? Jacob Rees-Mogg is 50 (FIFTY). Is he even housebroken?

 

Then again, why expect more from a guy who believes that even incestuously raped minors should be forced to give birth, at the same time as his investment fund profits from the sale of abortion pills? Asked about this hypocrisy once, Rees-Mogg declared airily: “The world is not always what you want it to be.” You’re telling me, mate. Very much ditto. With the world as it is, we have to tolerate the spectacle of the chancellor of the Duchy of Gilead spreading his loins all over the frontbench and comparing an NHS doctor who co-wrote official no-deal contingency plans to disgraced anti-vaxxer Andrew Wakefield. This last piece of utter yobbery saw Jacob humiliatingly ordered to apologise, presumably by Dominic Cummings (a man widely believed not to have completed the Norland Nanny training course).

Perhaps it was terror of Cummings, then, that prevented Johnson from giving in to either basic human or political instinct, and assisting the faint policewoman in Wakefield. The PM chose instead to gibber out the last of his prepared lines, and the bulletins duly led with his claim that he’d “rather be dead in a ditch” than delay Brexit.

As for who would find his remains, it increasingly feels like a case for Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman, the pair of cops in Se7en, a movie in which various people are ritually deadly sinned to death. A man of many uncontrollable appetites, Boris Johnson has embodied each of the sins at points in his life, and this week it almost felt as if he was being strapped in like the glutton and forced to prime minister himself to death. Had enough prime ministering yet, dear? I think you can fit just a bit more prime ministering in, and a bit more, and a bit more, and … [Cut to shot of Pitt and Freeman battering down the door of No 10 and choking into their handkerchiefs].

 

Anyway, you get the idea with that one. I guess the major philosophical question facing some of us this week was: would it all be worth it? Would you take three years of political paralysis, a toxic public realm, bitter family rows and no prospect of even medium-term national healing just to watch this one absolute monster reap his own whirlwind, live on telly, in a horrifyingly hilarious cautionary tale about getting everything you always wanted? The answer, of course, is no. Not even close. And he might still get a majority.

Having said all that … you’ve got to get your kicks somehow in these dark times, and if you can’t enjoy a good binfire, what’s really left? So chuck another chair leg on the flames, take your warmth where you can, and try to get some rest before he takes a crack at next week.

[aRdja]

fucking hell, Thom Yorke is #fbpe now. FFS.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

16 hours ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

Decent little summary of where we are and how we got here.

 

https://www.quora.com/Why-are-Remainers-so-convinced-that-staying-in-the-European-Union-is-what-is-best-for-the-UK/answer/Barry-McGuinness-1?ch=1&share=a9239dc8&srid=3SneA&fbclid=IwAR25u7rnTkfdlKfd4wQYKSQ17kFmCsXqWWGZnd9runwZtsX1kMEejZ8GPSk

 

(Even shorter version - Tories are cunts.)

Just got around to reading this. 

 

I'm not sure whether I should thank you for sharing this, or call you something offensive for getting me to read something so depressing. 

 

Brexit will go down in history as one of the biggest con jobs ever seen, facilitated by sections of the working classes who've effectively been brainwashed into eating their master's shit, with a big smile on their face as the faecal matter squeezes between the gaps in their teeth. 

[sir roger]

Probably best not to get into Brexit discussions when on a lads night out.

 

Was out on one last week when a ‘ civilised debate’ lasted 2 minutes before the remainer said ‘ ‘ I don’t see why I should accept my family and their children’s futures being fucked just because you get a hard-on watching The Dambusters’

 

Good job they’d already put into the kitty

[aRdja]

fucking hell, Thom Yorke is #fbpe now. FFS.

[Lario]

So as it stands....

No election to be called until Octoberish, and a No Deal Brexit is off the cards. 

Which means Johnson has two choices..

1. Leave the EU with the current agreement. 

2. Ask for an extension, something he’d rather be “dead in a ditch” than do. 

That about right?

[Guest Pistonbroke]

16 minutes ago, Lario said:

So as it stands....

No election to be called until Octoberish, and a No Deal Brexit is off the cards. 

Which means Johnson has two choices..

1. Leave the EU with the current agreement. 

2. Ask for an extension, something he’d rather be “dead in a ditch” than do. 

That about right?

 

Future headlines kind of write themselves. 

 

PM in last ditch attempt at extension.

Johnson ditched by the party he loves. 

 

Johnson found dead in a ditch with his cock in a puppies mouth. 

 

 

[Anubis]

I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m curious about the relevance of the ginger, and whether this is a regular habit amongst posh people.

 

Quote

“He is an absolute fraud, he is a living example of what a moderately cut double-breasted suit and a decent tie can do with an ultra-posh voice and a bit of ginger stuck up his arse.”

 

Sir Nicholas Soames on Mogg.

 

 

 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

 

[Section_31]

This is getting pretty scary now.

 

 

The former Conservative leader Iain Duncan Smith encouraged Mr Johnson to break the law, saying he would be seen as a Brexit “martyr” if judges opted to put him jail for breaching parliament’s terms.

[clangers]

Just now, Section_31 said:

This is getting pretty scary now.

 

 

The former Conservative leader Iain Duncan Smith encouraged Mr Johnson to break the law, saying he would be seen as a Brexit “martyr” if judges opted to put him jail for breaching parliament’s terms.

As was discussed on the radio yesterday, can't he go to the EU and request an extension in writing as instructed by parliament but he wouldn't be breaking the law making it clear to the EU it would be a very bad idea to offer one?

[Megadrive Man]

15 minutes ago, clangers said:

but he wouldn't be breaking the law making it clear to the EU it would be a very bad idea to offer one?

I think the EU would manage to work out that it's not a bad idea.

[Scooby Dudek]

17 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

This is getting pretty scary now.

 

 

The former Conservative leader Iain Duncan Smith encouraged Mr Johnson to break the law, saying he would be seen as a Brexit “martyr” if judges opted to put him jail for breaching parliament’s terms.

 

"Better to break the law than protect the poor"  or something like that. 

 

 

I knew it has been said numerous times but imagine the absolute outrage if Labour MPs were encouraging JC to break the law.