The GF Parenting Thread

[Major Tom]

Sure, I see a lot of things in other people's parenting that I wouldnt do myself but I also see a lot to admire. Parenting also brings out in you things that you didnt know were there, good and bad and plain non sensical.

You couldnt make a rational case for it but it is easily the best thing I have ever and will ever do

 

I never wanted children, but now that I have them, I realise it's something I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on.

 

It's opened my eyes as to why so many people are fucked up, though. They never stand a chance with some of the parenting I witness. Emotionally, I mean. But, yeah, aside from that, there is plenty to learn from other parents.

 

As far as money is concerned; if my kids need money and I'm in a position to help, I will. I don't care how old they are.

[Rico1304]

I never wanted children, but now that I have them, I realise it's something I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on.

 

It's opened my eyes as to why so many people are fucked up, though. They never stand a chance with some of the parenting I witness. Emotionally, I mean. But, yeah, aside from that, there is plenty to learn from other parents.

 

As far as money is concerned; if my kids need money and I'm in a position to help, I will. I don't care how old they are.

Those Nazi uniforms won't come cheap.

[Major Tom]

And that's a reference to what, rico?

[dickie mint]

I never wanted children, but now that I have them, I realise it's something I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on.

 

It's opened my eyes as to why so many people are fucked up, though. They never stand a chance with some of the parenting I witness. Emotionally, I mean. But, yeah, aside from that, there is plenty to learn from other parents.

 

As far as money is concerned; if my kids need money and I'm in a position to help, I will. I don't care how old they are.

 

Same here I'll always help my kids out if and when they need money.

[G Richards]

Here's what we do with our kids (they are pre-teen):

 

We don't give them money. They earn it. We decided it would send the wrong message to just give them money for nothing. We work for our money so we want the kids to do likewise. Obviously they work in an age-appropriate way e.g. Empty dishwasher, do some straightforward job around the house or whatever.

 

Because the kids are younger, we felt that it wouldn't be right to just let them do what they want with their money. We see it as our responsibility as parents to help them establish good values when it comes to what they do with their money. Everything they earn is divided into three pots. Give. Save. Spend.

 

We want them to give to something or someone beyond themselves. If we spend everything we earn on ourselves we will never feel as though we can afford to do this, so we are trying to teach our kids to give. We are also trying to teach them to save. Kids drive younger over here, so our daughter (eleven years old) is saving towards a car. It won't be a new car, and I will probably match what she saves when it comes time to get a car, but she will have skin in the game. It's a long term goal that she is saving towards. Then our kids spend money. They don't really need anything as such, but it is important that they are allowed to spend money on sweets, make-up, a game, or whatever they are interested in.

 

We might have a more structured approach than most, but we believe that learning how to handle money is one of the most important things we can teach our kids. We want our kids to earn their money and then give, save and spend.

 

Obviously when they are adults, what they do with their money will be entirely up to them, but we hope that the values they are learning now will serve them in years to come.

[Paul]

I like the give/save/spend thing.

[Champ]

I like the give/save/spend thing.

Yeah, I've not heard of that before. What kind of things do they give to?

[Dr Nowt]

Don't currently have kids but often read such threads as you pick little gems up.

 

That is some great advice, G. Respect.

[G Richards]

Yeah, I've not heard of that before. What kind of things do they give to?

Usually different charities and things, or sometimes the school they attend is collecting for something, so they can participate that way. In my line of work we are connected to a lot of charities doing great work in needy communities, so it's pretty easy for the kids to be exposed to lots of things.

 

For example, we recently sent a team to Haiti to work with a charity we support there that builds houses for people who don't have a place to live. Each house costs about $15k to build - very simple by our standards, but a nice place to live for their context. So we gave towards that.

 

Another example: Our kids like to go to camp in the summer. We recently set up a scholarship fund to make sure that any kid who wants to go to camp is able to go, whether they can afford it or not. The scholarship fund is made up of donations. Our kids know what a great time they had at camp, so for them it's a tangible thing to give to make sure other kids can experience the same thing.

[Champ]

Don't currently have kids but often read such threads as you pick little gems up.

That is some great advice, G. Respect.

Like I said, you can pick up some great ideas from others that just seem to chime with your own values or shine a light on something you'd maybe not had cause to think through properly until that point.

 

One of my light bulb moments, pre kids, was about how to treat your kids. I had this idea that 'I'd treat them all the same' until someone so rightly pointed out that you have to treat them all differently because they are all different and respind differently to different things

[Major Tom]

Yeah, I've not heard of that before. What kind of things do they give to?

I heard it just the other day and blowed if I can remember where!

[General Dryness]

Those Nazi uniforms won't come cheap.

 

 

And that's a reference to what, rico?

 

Struggling with that one myself. Whats the sketch, Richard Richard?

[Champ]

Yeah, put us out of our misery, rico

[Major Tom]

Those Nazi uniforms won't come cheap.

 

 

And that's a reference to what, rico?

 

 

Struggling with that one myself. Whats the sketch, Richard Richard?

 

 

Yeah, put us out of our misery, rico

 

Gonna clear this one up, rico?

[Rico1304]

Sorry, I was referencing the uniforms at a Steiner school.

[Major Tom]

Still doesn't make any sense.

[Rico1304]

Still doesn't make any sense.

Oh well, I'll live.

[Major Tom]

Indeed you will.

 

But your friend took her Steiner experience that bad, hey?

[lifetime fan]

What are people’s opinions on feeding kids.

 

I take it as granted everyone wants to see children eat a healthy balanced diet with of course sweets as a treat.

 

But when it comes to meal times do you make them ‘clear their plate’?

 

Reason I ask is because we had my niece to stay and I was shocked at how different our attitudes were to her and eating.

 

The wife and I both agree on the ‘its okay to not like but not okay to not try’ rule.

 

But I felt Tegan served too big portions and had an attitude of you clear your plate which I didn’t like.

 

As long as Sophie had eaten a variety of the foods on her plate (obviously including salad/veg) and then said she wasn’t hungry anymore I was happy for her to stop eating.

 

I don’t feel comfortable with ‘forcing’ a child to keep eating if they are satiated and can’t see how that promotes a healthy relationship with food for a generation of children with more obesity than ever.

 

Tegan’s view is the same as my parents when I was growing up, I can see not letting a kid leaving their veg and then wanting ice cream for afters etc.

 

But it just makes me feel very uncomfortable.

 

Thoughts?

[Lee909]

We always had to eat what was served. Not finish the plate but not allowed to be picky. If we didn't like something we could eat a little of it.

 

No issues with kids not finishing their food so long as its not because they have snacked before or allowed to snack later because they are hungry.

[Numero Veinticinco]

Yeah, I changed my view on it. As long as they give it a go, no problem. Leave what you don’t want.

[Bjornebye]

Don't feed them

[Mook]

My Son is a fucking nightmare with eating (just turned two), we get the bunting out if he eats anything.

 

He doesn't get any sweets, chocolate or ice cream from us because when other people have given him it, he's even fussier than usual.

 

If we waited for him to clear his plate we would be still giving him his tea from January 2017.

 

Having said all that, he eats fruit like it's going out of fashion so he's not that bad.

[Paulie Dangerously]

We did baby led weaning and as a result toddleD is a great eater with everything and will have a try of anything. Baby led weaning taught her to self regulate how much she eats so we never make her clear the plate and even he favourite foods she will leave if she's full, but if we think she's holding out for a pudding then we might say three more spoons or at least finish your greens etc.

 

My mum was a "clear your plate" "Africans are starving" type and even now at 34 i feel like I need to clear my plate which prob contributes to my weight issues.

[Fowlers God]

Fine with them leaving food but will they fuck eat some pudding afterwards if they’ve not really tried to eat it.y Mrs got in a rut of letting them finish what they wanted and then when they wanted Pudding they’d just say they’d had enough. We’ve clamped down on it now.