The GF Parenting Thread

[Alan Sex]

Agree with removing the pedals.
 

Was getting nowhere with old school stabilizers.

 

Taught 3 of my kids to ride this way. Removed the pedals, got them used to gliding starting with one hop and moving further until I was pushing and they would glide for a while. 
 

Then they were asking for the pedals to go back on. Boom. Bike riding. 

[Rushies tash]

12 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Taught KidD over half term. Stages:

 

1. Let her just scoot it to get her balace

2. Peddling with me pushing her all the way

3. Peddling with her going one, two, three, four peddles on her own increasing

4. Her starting herself by scooting it and then peddling on her own

5. Standing starts

 

We did about 20 mins a day and today she clocked the standing start. Little and often, bags of encouragement, push them off slyly so they know falling off isn't the end of the world.  

 

Seconded for lower the seat. She learned on a bike far to small, got a proper one today and she's flying on it. 

Taught my boys a bit like this. Took them to an old style carpeted astro 5 a side pitch so it didn't really matter how straight they went. Plenty of me running alongside holding on, but they picked it up quicker than I thought they would - 3-4 afternoons.

[Sugar Ape]

The Mrs is out getting her eyebrows done so I’ve got the kid and can’t take her out anywhere like the park because it’s pissing down so stuck in watching this on repeat. Watched it about 50 times in a row and I’m about to go and stuck my head in the oven. Been nice knowing you all. 
 

 

[Paulie Dangerously]

KidD is starting to ask about the birds and bees. She's just turned 7 and (I know we all say this) she is very advanced for her age. Curious about the world and no level of information is enough for her. She's just going into Year 3 so I know school won't be covering this at any point for another 2 years.  

 

My sex education was passing round a sanitary pad and a brief conversation with my dad who asked if I know about girls, to which I replied I did. I had 56k Internet by the time I was 14 so knew the lot from elephant list.com.

 

Any gf parents been through this? 

[Paul]

6 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

KidD is starting to ask about the birds and bees. She's just turned 7 and (I know we all say this) she is very advanced for her age. Curious about the world and no level of information is enough for her. She's just going into Year 3 so I know school won't be covering this at any point for another 2 years.  

 

My sex education was passing round a sanitary pad and a brief conversation with my dad who asked if I know about girls, to which I replied I did. I had 56k Internet by the time I was 14 so knew the lot from elephant list.com.

 

Any gf parents been through this? 

I told my kids as soon as they asked. Think my son was about four and my daughter five. I just told them the basics and asked if they had any questions. They did and I answered. I was matter of fact about it with them, although that first chat was purely about reproduction and love. Needs following up with loads more obviously, but it’s all about timing.
 

I then tended to talk to them after we’d seen something in a film, even very innocuous stuff; ie, a couple disappear into a bedroom and shut the door was a way in to discussing other reasons for sex apart from pregnancy. That was a few years later. 
 

Then there’s consent and sexuality and more as they get older again. I just found that by keeping it all at their pace and factual (I’d also give my opinions too and flagged them as such), they were quite happy to talk without embarrassment. 

[Mook]

Remember not speaking to complete strangers all the fucking time? I miss that.

[Remmie]

On 15/05/2021 at 13:39, Sugar Ape said:

The Mrs is out getting her eyebrows done so I’ve got the kid and can’t take her out anywhere like the park because it’s pissing down so stuck in watching this on repeat. Watched it about 50 times in a row and I’m about to go and stuck my head in the oven. Been nice knowing you all. 
 

 

Get your kid onto Parry Gripp songs. Yes they are also earworms but sometimes amusing and a lot less irritating then the 3 seconds I managed of yours. One of the lyrics of 'Neon Pegasus' is "The genetically modified Salamander, with a face just like George Clooney"

 

 

[Remmie]

I just went to blow a huge raspberry in Eli's belly and at exactly the same time he actually farted. It was like playing human baby bagpipes. 

[Bruce Spanner]

Think on people, think on.

 

A cautionary tale for all involved...

 

'A judge in Michigan has ordered a couple to pay $30,441 (£22,100) to their son, for throwing out his pornography collection.

 

US district judge Paul Maloney’s decision this week came eight months after David Werking, 43, won a lawsuit against his parents.

 

Werking said they had no right to throw out his collection of films, magazines and other items, which he said then was worth $29,000 (£21,500).

 

In his ruling this week the judge followed a value set by an expert, MLive.com reported. Werking’s parents were also ordered to pay $14,500 (£10,500) to their son’s attorney.

 

Werking lived at his parents’ Grand Haven home for 10 months after a divorce, before moving to Muncie, Indiana.

 

After moving, he learned that his boxes of films and magazines were missing. Werking’s father wrote in an email: “Frankly, David, I did you a big favor getting rid of all this stuff.”

 

In his ruling in December last year, Judge Maloney said: “There is no question that the destroyed property was David’s property. Defendants repeatedly admitted that they destroyed the property.”

 

Werking’s parents said they had a right to act as their son’s landlords.

 

Maloney responded: “Defendants do not cite to any statute or caselaw to support their assertion that landlords can destroy property that they dislike.”'

[Mook]

They don't half put you through the mill at times. 

 

Our three year old had to go to A&E on Sunday because he was going nuts if anyone so much as looked at his head, he'd cracked it off the bed on Thursday but this was not normal. On Sunday they had a good look at the lump & said he'd have to go back in for scans on Monday which had the alarm bells ringing & the missus & me were worried sick, I went 24hrs without eating anything & was making myself ill. He was in the hospital for 5hrs yesterday getting scans and all sorts, ended up draining the lump, sans anaesthetic (four doctors holding him down) & he came home looking like a smurf with his head all bandaged up. It looks at this stage like it was a bruise/cut that became infected.

 

Three times today we've had to pin him down to take his anti biotics & another two to change the dressing on his wound. He's back at hospital tomorrow so they can check everything is ok.

 

I'm not cut out for this at all, I would take those infected bumps all over myself just to make his one fuck off.

[Elite]

Just now, Mook said:

They don't half put you through the mill at times. 

 

Our three year old had to go to A&E on Sunday because he was going nuts if anyone so much as looked at his head, he'd cracked it off the bed on Thursday but this was not normal. On Sunday they had a good look at the lump & said he'd have to go back in for scans on Monday which had the alarm bells ringing & the missus & me were worried sick, I went 24hrs without eating anything & was making myself ill. He was in the hospital for 5hrs yesterday getting scans and all sorts, ended up draining the lump, sans anaesthetic (four doctors holding him down) & he came home looking like a smurf with his head all bandaged up. It looks at this stage like it was a bruise/cut that became infected.

 

Three times today we've had to pin him down to take his anti biotics & another two to change the dressing on his wound. He's back at hospital tomorrow so they can check everything is ok.

 

I'm not cut out for this at all, I would take those infected bumps all over myself just to make his one fuck off.

It's horrible mate seeing your kids suffer. My daughter broke her arm and shoulder last year and I had to drive her to A+E whilst she was screaming in agony. Horrendous.

 

Glad he's on the mend.

[Remmie]

Jesus, Yara trapped her thumb in the door today and that was traumatic enough. 

 

When I lost her at soft play for what was probably only 6 minutes but felt like years was absolutely horrendous. 

 

I imagine paediatric staff and children's wards have to deal with this shit all the fucking time. Not enough tea in China etc

[Remmie]

It's Halloween coming up and want to get a costume for Yara who is nearly 4. I look online and her options just seem to be Disney princesses or a witch. She was a witch last year and I don't understand this change in Halloween costumes to make kids into cute characters, they are supposed to be scary. Any suggestions? 

[Bruce Spanner]

3 hours ago, Remmie said:

It's Halloween coming up and want to get a costume for Yara who is nearly 4. I look online and her options just seem to be Disney princesses or a witch. She was a witch last year and I don't understand this change in Halloween costumes to make kids into cute characters, they are supposed to be scary. Any suggestions? 

 

Wednesday Addams.

 

We did my daughter as Wednesday and the boy as Pugsley a year or so back before the plague.

 

We also did Kiss as a family, with me going as Gene without makeup 'cause I hate fancy dress.

[Bob]

5 hours ago, Remmie said:

It's Halloween coming up and want to get a costume for Yara who is nearly 4. I look online and her options just seem to be Disney princesses or a witch. She was a witch last year and I don't understand this change in Halloween costumes to make kids into cute characters, they are supposed to be scary. Any suggestions? 

At 4, she’s likely not into Harry Potter yet, but were making death eater masks here from paper mache masks, some silver paint and a sharpie.

 

zombie girls (school girls, punk girls, etc. are the other option that’s been popular round here the last year or two).

 

mines always been happy being a witch every year, so long as we make the outfit ourselves. Face paint too.

[Remmie]

4 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:

 

Wednesday Addams.

 

We did my daughter as Wednesday and the boy as Pugsley a year or so back before the plague.

 

We also did Kiss as a family, with me going as Gene without makeup 'cause I hate fancy dress.

Haha you miserable bastard, how can you be Kiss without the make up, it's the single noticeable thing about the band! Repped. 

2 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

At 4, she’s likely not into Harry Potter yet, but were making death eater masks here from paper mache masks, some silver paint and a sharpie.

 

zombie girls (school girls, punk girls, etc. are the other option that’s been popular round here the last year or two).

 

mines always been happy being a witch every year, so long as we make the outfit ourselves. Face paint too.

Oooh facepaint is a good idea. 

 

I suppose she doesn't have much exposure to scary stuff what with being 3, suddenly the cute Halloween outfits make a bit more sense. But I am a stubborn cunt, so no way is she being any kind of character that's kind to animals. 

[Bjornebye]

8 hours ago, Remmie said:

It's Halloween coming up and want to get a costume for Yara who is nearly 4. I look online and her options just seem to be Disney princesses or a witch. She was a witch last year and I don't understand this change in Halloween costumes to make kids into cute characters, they are supposed to be scary. Any suggestions? 

 

 

[Bjornebye]

Give her a real chainsaw as well for effect. 

[Jose Jones]

6 hours ago, Remmie said:

Haha you miserable bastard, how can you be Kiss without the make up, it's the single noticeable thing about the band! Repped. 

Oooh facepaint is a good idea. 

 

I suppose she doesn't have much exposure to scary stuff what with being 3, suddenly the cute Halloween outfits make a bit more sense. But I am a stubborn cunt, so no way is she being any kind of character that's kind to animals. 

Ghost is the piss easiest one.  Old white sheet, cut eye holes in, sorted.

[lifetime fan]

16 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

At 4, she’s likely not into Harry Potter yet, but were making death eater masks here from paper mache masks, some silver paint and a sharpie.

 

zombie girls (school girls, punk girls, etc. are the other option that’s been popular round here the last year or two).

 

mines always been happy being a witch every year, so long as we make the outfit ourselves. Face paint too.

Daily Mail? 

[Bob]

1 minute ago, lifetime fan said:

Daily Mail? 

My dad has read it all my life and I’m not changing him now. I accept his old copies for the rabbits litter tray.

[lifetime fan]

2 hours ago, Bob Spunkmouse said:

My dad has read it all my life and I’m not changing him now. I accept his old copies for the rabbits litter tray.

Best place for it. 

[melons]

On 17/10/2021 at 15:00, Remmie said:

It's Halloween coming up and want to get a costume for Yara who is nearly 4. I look online and her options just seem to be Disney princesses or a witch. She was a witch last year and I don't understand this change in Halloween costumes to make kids into cute characters, they are supposed to be scary. Any suggestions? 

Loads of crepe bandages and make her up as a mummy? 

5 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Daily Mail? 

Negged for being able to even make that out. 

[Bob]

Bellatrix’s mask is now ready to be coloured in by my girl tomorrow evening.

[Captain Turdseye]

Picked up a Werewolf one from Home Bargains for £8 or something. The mask is scary enough and the costume itself has got like padded muscles on the arms. I should point out at this point that it’s for Turdsette and not me. 
 

I’m happy with it because she can layer up underneath. They do a Halloween trail thing here in the town park which is ace. You walk through the woods and they have all sorts of zombies and monsters and shit jumping out at you. Then there’s still time for a bit of trick or treating afterwards.