Times when you don't feel very bright at all.

[Bruce Spanner]

Walking past the Job Centre on a Saturday.

 

On noticing it was closed I was heard to remark 'It's mad they keep it closed on Saturday's when everybody is off work'

 

Yeah...

 

 

[VladimirIlyich]

5 hours ago, AngryofTuebrook said:

I saw something a while back saying that you shouldn't laugh at people who mispronounce words, because they learned that word through reading. 

 

Reading is good. 

Reading is a town in Berkshire.

[sir roger]

Sitting in my pyjamas last night about 10 o'clock and the  wife suddenly decides she would like a bottle of wine from the local M and S garage. Grudgingly take the uniform off , get dressed , grab a mask and walk the 400 yards or so to the doorway of the shop only to find I am trying to put a soft sunglasses case on my fucking face.

[Elite]

1 hour ago, sir roger said:

Sitting in my pyjamas last night about 10 o'clock and the  wife suddenly decides she would like a bottle of wine from the local S and M garage. Grudgingly take the uniform off , get dressed , grab a mask and walk the 400 yards or so to the doorway of the shop only to find I am trying to put a soft sunglasses case on my fucking face.

 

[Captain Turdseye]

Spent a bit of time yesterday preparing for our trip to London at the weekend. Moving money between accounts, checking the weather, looking at train times, packing a toiletries bag, making sure the clothes the kids want to take are washed and ironed, getting a suitcase ready, arranging a shopping trip for tomorrow so they can buy something new to wear at the theatre…

 

Just checked the time on my watch, noticed today’s date, remembered that my sister is going down there today and it was only then that it dawned on me that we’re not even going this weekend. It’s the week after. What a fucking plank. 

[Rico1304]

I’ve just been to see the Brian Cox Horizon tour.  Well, lecture really.   2.5 hours.  Understood about 10 mins.  

[AngryOfTuebrook]

At least this Brian Cox is easy to understand.

 

 

[Mudface]

7 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

I’ve just been to see the Brian Cox Horizon tour.  Well, lecture really.   2.5 hours.  Understood about 10 mins.  

At least you know things can only get better.

[Rico1304]

This morning I had to add up two numbers, 1200 + 1800.  I decided that the answer was 4000.  
 

That has meant that every decision I’ve made today has been wrong.  

[AngryOfTuebrook]

42 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

This morning I had to add up two numbers, 1200 + 1800.  I decided that the answer was 4000.  
 

That has meant that every decision I’ve made today has been wrong.  

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Mrs O'T just received a message from her sister saying 

"I'm in the office today and my shoes don't match.  I can't move from my desk."

[Fowlers God]

1 hour ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Mrs O'T just received a message from her sister saying 

"I'm in the office today and my shoes don't match.  I can't move from my desk."

 

I think we need to see pictures Mal. 

 

 

[Fowlers God]

I realised last night that I cannot spell "Restraunt". Even understanding last night its not "Resteraunt" means I still cant spell the fucking thing. 

 

I am not dyslexic either. I am 37yrs old who cannot understand the spelling of Resteraunt  

 

FUCKING RESTAURANT twatmuffin. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

1 hour ago, Fowlers God said:

 

I think we need to see pictures Mal. 

 

 

 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I tried to reassure her that the only people staring at her feet would be introverts, and they'd be too shy to say anything.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Who was it on here who once had to change trains and somehow managed to leave lost property on both of them at the same time?

[manwiththestick]

A girl in my old work did the shoe thing one day, the thing was they weren't even similar, one was black and the other was tan brown.

 

Her desk was next to mine and she hurried in first thing, sat down all flustered and said to me that she's not moving until home time.

 

[Mudface]

2 hours ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I tried to reassure her that the only people staring at her feet would be introverts, and they'd be too shy to say anything.

 

 

[bossy]

My wife dressed her step mum who has Alzheimers, perfectly respectably because by this stage she was dressing all kinds of gear, to go into town, but dressed herself in different boots and one heel was higher than the other. 

[TheSire]

2 hours ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Who was it on here who once had to change trains and somehow managed to leave lost property on both of them at the same time?

Simonlfcgreen

[AngryOfTuebrook]

5 hours ago, TheSire said:

Simonlfcgreen

Nah, I think it was someone otherwise normal.

 

If I remember rightly, when he changed trains he picked up his bag, but forgot his jacket.  After he'd got settled on the second train, he realised what he'd done and figured that he'd have time to sprint across to the first train (which was still on the opposite platform) and retrieve his jacket before his train was due to leave.  He got as far as the bridge before both trains left, in different directions.

[lifetime fan]

11 hours ago, Fowlers God said:

I realised last night that I cannot spell "Restraunt". Even understanding last night its not "Resteraunt" means I still cant spell the fucking thing. 

 

I am not dyslexic either. I am 37yrs old who cannot understand the spelling of Resteraunt  

 

FUCKING RESTAURANT twatmuffin. 

 

Lying cunt. 

[halewood pete]

15 hours ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

Mrs O'T just received a message from her sister saying 

"I'm in the office today and my shoes don't match.  I can't move from my desk."

She has a pair just like them at home !

[Lee909]

I've done the shoe thing before. 

Got home after a night shift and was supposed to be meeting my mum as she needed help with her shopping and my grandads. Fell asleep in the chair and got woken up late and just grabbed the trainers under my bed. Got halfway there and realised i had two different trainers on. Problem was one was dark grey the other navy. 

[Total Longo]

19 hours ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I tried to reassure her that the only people staring at her feet would be introverts, and they'd be too shy to say anything.

 

Good job Quentin Tarantino doesn't work there, he would be all over it.