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Premier League Round Up (Feb 28 - Mar 4 2015)

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It’s been another incident packed week in the Premier League. We’ve had a dust up between two managers, players spitting at each other and we even witnessed a miracle at Villa Park, where not only did Villa actually win a game but also doubled Tim Sherwood’s ‘good ratio’ by scoring twice.

I’ll kick things off with Saturday’s action though, as the Mancs had another unimpressive, uninspiring performance that somehow led to three points again. Spawny shit bastards. Not that anyone was surprised by it, in fact it was the biggest certainty of the weekend that they’d beat Sunderland given who the Mackems had in the centre of defence. The only issue was which one of the Chuckle Brothers would bail Van Gaal's men out. In the end not even the ref was sure which one it was, so he just guessed and sent off Wes Brown while awarding United a penalty.

You can set your watch by those two fucking losers, it feels as though every other week one of them is either getting sent off, scoring an own goal or conceding a pen. I made that point to my Mackem brother in law after this one, and his reply was “yeah but they’re the best we have. Coates is fucking shite.” Coates?? Kinell, I’d completely forgotten he was even there. If big Seba can’t get a game ahead of either of those two slapdicks then that says it all. I mean fucking hell, his manager is Uruguayan yet even he won’t pick him.

Anyway, it was inevitable that one of those two deadbeats would come to United’s rescue and at times it looked like they were in competition with each other to see who could do it first. O’Shea was a whisker away from an own goal when he smashed a clearance onto his own bar, but he had better luck when hauling down Falcao in the box. Brown tried to muscle in on his action and arrived late on the scene. Referee Roger East correctly awarded the penalty but incorrectly ruled that Brown was the offender and sent him off. Even worse, he stuck to his guns afterwards and refused to admit his mistake, which meant Sunderland successfully appealed for wrongful dismissal against O’Shea and neither of the fuckers got banned. What a joke.

Until that moment Sunderland were looking very comfortable. I’m getting seriously wound up by this now because I don’t think I’ve ever seen a team who are continually this shit but somehow keep getting results. Their luck has to run out soon as this is just not sustainable, they're lucky to be top half let alone top four.

The United fans aren’t being fooled by it though and they’re understandably pissed off with what they’re seeing. Jonny Evans was booed for passing the ball back to De Gea. Bet that made him mad, spitting mad even, but I’ll get to that in due course.

Moving on, and Southampton were the latest team to get Pulised as they went down to a 1-0 defeat at the Hawthorns. Berahino’s brilliant finish after just two minutes gave the Baggies something to hold onto, and hold onto it they did. Got to hand it to Pulis, he knows how to get a clean sheet doesn’t he? It helps when you’re up against Pelle though, that fella may look like Emre Can but he’s playing like a shit Lee Chapman at the moment. The arse has fallen out of his game in a big way.

I didn’t watch the West Ham v Palace game live, but I checked my phone afterwards and was surprised to see Palace had won 3-1. I was less surprised to see the words “assist Puncheon” underneath all the goalscorer names, obviously. That’s my boy.

After watching the highlights I took two things from the game. One, it’s funny seeing an Allardyce team getting undone by three set-pieces, and two, what a twat that Glenn Murray is. Shocking tackles and even worse diving and playacting. Damn foreigners coming over here with their… oh.

Also worth mentioning that Mike Dean ignored the most obvious handball you’ll ever see in the build up to Palace’s third goal. McArthur had his hand above his head and punched the ball right in front of Dean and he somehow didn’t give it. These refs are fucking terrible, Clattenburg is the only one that’s not shit.

Also on Saturday, my main man Tim Sherwood took Villa to St James’ Park boasting about his “good ratio” of two goals in two games. To be fair that is a good ratio….. if you’re a centre forward. For an entire team it’s pretty shit though. In his defence, it was double the ratio they had before he arrived so there is that.

“Newcastle would have gone ahead there but for Alan Hutton’s intervention” said the MOTD commentator. Funny that, I’ve often thought Hutton looks like the type of fella who needs an intervention. Hutton & co were powerless to stop Cisse opening the scoring not long after and that solitary goal proved to be enough. Well it would be wouldn’t it, after all they aren’t known as Aston Nilla for nothing, Tim’s good ratio notwithstanding.

Crouchy ran wild on Hull as he came off the bench and scored within a minute with a cracking header. Bruce complained that he was fractionally offside, but whatchyagonnado Steve Bruce, when the longest legs in the world and Crouchamania, runs wild on you brutha.

Finally on Saturday, Swansea had a rather fortuitous win at Burnley thanks to an own goal by Trippier, while on Sunday Everton went to Arsenal and did what they always do: Lost. Probably celebrated it too, after all it helped Arsenal stay ahead of us.

 

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I don't know if Coates is injured or has genuinely turned to shit after joining Sunderland (or even since his serious injury a couple of years ago), but I reckon one of the reasons he's not being picked is because all managers down at the bottom turn to players with experience of a relegation dogfight. That's something I've long thought to be strange. If you pack your team with such players, can you really expect to do anything other that be involved in a relegation dogfight? 

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If Evans gets banned, he won't be able to play against us in a couple of weeks. Can't decide whether that's a good or bad thing!

As for your brother-in-law, Dave, if he thinks Coates is worse than O'Shea and Brown he needs to give his head a wobble.

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6 match ban for Evans for inciting the incident and not admitting it.... unreal! cisse should have kept his mouth shut.

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Cisse should have done what Paul Walsh did to Kevin Bond after he spat in his face, and just laid him out with a right hook. 3 game ban for Walshy if I remember rightly.

 

 

Around 10:50 into this clip. 

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