Nivea. Fuckin' Nivea.

[setreal]

I nivea thought I'd see the day.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

What does Lallana look like?

 

Everyone knows you should be using a jojoba / argan based oil with vitamin E on your facial hair, preferably with tea tree. Moisturiser won't help those split ends you muppet!

[chris71]

Fuck off haters, he looks lovely.

[Kant]

Makes them come across like a bunch of quims.

 

 

 

(Royalties in the post, Tone)

[SammyAftershave]

Nivea, oh Nivea, my encyclopaedia...

 

[Arl arse]

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Lallana has awful skin. I use Nivea amongst other things and have since I was the original 80's metrosexual. A cleansing and moisturising regime has me looking a tot over 20 when I'm approaching 50. Although the Hot Oil Serum I once used is no longer suitable. As I'm bald.

[Anubis]

I see they've dragged Klopp into the latest advert.

 

Why, Jurgen, why?

[Russ Atmosphere]

Klopp is trying to force Coutinho and Skrtel out... of the Nivea ads.

[Red House]

And, we are resigning Fowler. Nightcat was right, FSG are tight cunts.

[Curly]

I like that latest one.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

A friend of mine - yeah, a friend, alright! - once tried to use Nivea (for want of anything more suitable) as a bumsex lubricant.

 

It doesn't work.

[Herp McDerp]

A friend of mine - yeah, a friend, alright! - once tried to use Nivea (for want of anything more suitable) as a bumsex lubricant.

 

It doesn't work.

 

[SammyAftershave]

Handy to know. The information, that is.

[Nightcat]

A friend of mine - yeah, a friend, alright! - once tried to use Nivea (for want of anything more suitable) as a bumsex lubricant.

 

It doesn't work.

Maybe it's not Nivea's fault. maybe your mate's boyfriend had a large cock.

[scudger99]

Or his boyfriend had a tight arse.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Maybe it's not Nivea's fault. maybe your mate's boyfriend had a large cock.

My mate was bumming a lady.

 

I'd guess that anything that's designed to be absorbed into the skin might not be the best lube.  I mean, that's just science, isn't it.

 

Maybe they should put a disclaimer on the adverts.

[Tony Moanero]

Nightcat's Ma uses Nivea on her ball sack.

[SlugTrail]

Nightcats Ma produces Nivea from her ball sack, that is why the cats skin is so smooth.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Nightcats Ma produces Nivea from her ball sack, that is why the cats skin is so smooth.

And why his anus is so badly torn.

[Kevin D]

Johnny Barnes, GaryMac, Rushie and Fowler are in the new advert.

 

Say what you will about Nivea, but the sons of bitches know advertising.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Johnny Barnes, GaryMac, Rushie and Fowler are in the new advert.

 

Say what you will about Nivea, but the sons of bitches know advertising.

I'm surprised that they used Jurgen on their ad.

 

I love the bloke, but he does look like he stinks of piss.

[setreal]

Just had this in my inbox:
 

 

Sky Deutschland schließt langjährige Partnerschaft mit Jürgen Klopp und dem FC Liverpool

 

09.08.2016 - 13:00 Uhr, Sky Deutschland

Unterföhring (ots) -

-    Jürgen Klopp wird ab sofort Partner von Sky Deutschland -    Sky Deutschland startet gleichzeitig Kooperation mit dem FC
Liverpool -    Zusammenarbeit umfasst u.a. zeitversetzte Ausstrahlungsrechte
für alle Pflichtspiele des Vereins sowie die Übertragung des
Clubmagazins, Pressekonferenzen und Dokumentationen

Kein anderer Verein verkörpert den englischen Fußball so sehr wie der FC Liverpool - und kein anderer Trainer symbolisiert die Emotionen und Faszination des Fußballs so sehr wie sein Trainer Jürgen Klopp. Ab der Saison 2016/2017 werden der Verein und sein sportlicher Leiter langfristige Partner von Sky Deutschland.

Die Partnerschaft zwischen Sky und Jürgen Klopp umfasst seinen Einsatz als Sky Markenbotschafter und eine Reihe anderer Werbe- und PR-Maßnahmen. Dazu gehören Einblicke in seine tägliche Arbeit sowie Werbeauftritte im Sky Umfeld. Sky präsentiert die Aufnahmen exklusiv auf allen Verbreitungswegen in Deutschland und Österreich.

Ebenfalls langfristig ist die Vereinbarung mit dem FC Liverpool. Mit dem Anpfiff der nächsten Premier-League-Saison am 13. August startet die umfangreiche Zusammenarbeit mit dem Verein an der Anfield Road. Darunter fallen die wöchentliche Ausstrahlung des dreistündigen internationalen Clubmagazins ebenso wie exklusive Dokumentationen, wöchentliche Interviews mit Spielern und Verantwortlichen, Berichte vom Training, die Übertragung der Pressekonferenzen oder spannende Blicke hinter die Kulissen des Vereins. Außerdem erwirbt Sky das Recht, sämtliche Pflichtspiele des FC Liverpool in der Premier League, im FA Cup und im League Cup sowie ausgewählte Vorbereitungs- und Freundschaftsspiele zeitversetzt auszustrahlen.

Roman Steuer, Executive Vice Presiden t Sport von Sky Deutschland: "Die hochklassigen Duelle zwischen Dortmund und dem FC Liverpool in der vergangenen Saison der UEFA Europa League haben deutlich gezeigt, wie sehr sich die Fußballfans in Deutschland für Jürgen Klopp und den FC Liverpool interessieren. Die Kooperation ermöglicht es uns, ganz dicht an Jürgen Klopp und dem Traditionsclub dran zu sein."

Jürgen Klopp: "Bereits 2014 habe ich beim Dreh eines Werbespots tolle Erfahrungen mit dem Sky Team gemacht. Sky steht für mich für ganz großen Sport. Deshalb freue ich mich sehr über die Fortsetzung der Zusammenarbeit."

Matthew Baxter, Chief Media Officer, Liverpool FC: "Wir freuen uns sehr, unsere Zusammenarbeit mit Sky nun auch a uf Deutschland auszuweiten. Mit Sky UK verbindet uns bereits eine sehr erfolgreiche Kooperation und wir freuen uns, diese starke Partnerschaft auszubauen und das TV-Programm des FC Liverpool einem noch größeren Publikum anbieten zu können."

Originaltext:   Sky Deutschland newsroom:   http://www.presseportal.de/nr/33221 newsroom via RSS:   http://www.presseportal.de/rss/pm_33221.rss2 ISIN:   DE000SKYD000

Pressekontakt:

Dirk Böhm
Director Sports Communications 
Sky Deutschland GmbH
Tel: 089 / 9958 3018
dirk.boehm@sky.de
twitter.com/SkyDeutschland

 

Sky. Fuckin' Sky.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

In English:

 

Sky Germany includes longstanding partnership with Jürgen Klopp and Liverpool

 

09/08/2016 - 13:00 Sky Germany

Unterföhring (ots) -

- Jürgen Klopp will now be a partner of Sky Germany - Sky Germany launches simultaneously cooperation with the FC

Liverpool - cooperation includes, inter alia, delayed broadcast rights

for all competitive matches of the association and the transfer of

Club magazine, press conferences and documentaries

No other club embodies the English football as much as the Liverpool FC - and no other coach symbolizes the emotions and fascination of football as much as his coach Jürgen Klopp. From the season 2016/2017 the club and his sporting director long-term partner of Sky Germany are.

The partnership between Sky and Jürgen Klopp includes its use as Sky brand ambassadors and a number of other advertising and PR measures. These include insights into his daily work and promotional appearances in Sky environment. Sky presents the shots exclusive on all distribution channels in Germany and Austria.

Also in the long term is the agreement with Liverpool. With the kickoff of the next Premier League season on August 13, start extensive cooperation with the club at Anfield. Among the weekly broadcast of the three-hour international club magazine down as well as exclusive documentaries, weekly interviews with players and managers, reports from the training, the transfer of the press conferences or exciting look behind the scenes of the association. In addition, Sky acquires the right to all competitive matches for Liverpool in the Premier League, time-shifted broadcast the FA Cup and League Cup as well as selected preparation and friendly matches.

Roman Steuer, Executive Vice Presiden t sport of Sky Germany: "The high-class duels between Dortmund and Liverpool in last season's UEFA Europa League have clearly shown how interested the football fans in Germany for Jürgen Klopp and Liverpool. The cooperation enables us very close to Jürgen Klopp and be the traditional club turn. "

Jürgen Klopp: "Already in 2014 I did a great experience with the Sky team while shooting a commercial Sky stands for me for all major sports why I am very pleased with the continued cooperation..."

Matthew Baxter, Chief Media Officer, Liverpool FC: "We are very pleased to expand our collaboration with Sky now also a uf Germany With Sky UK already connects us a very successful cooperation and we look forward to expanding this strong partnership and the TV. to offer program of Liverpool an even wider audience. "

 

Originaltext: Sky Germany newsroom: http://www.presseportal.de/nr/33221 newsroom via RSS: http: //www.pressepor...s/pm_33221.rss2 ISIN: DE000SKYD000

 

Press contact:

 

Dirk Böhm

Director Sports Communications

Sky Germany GmbH

Tel: 089/9958 3018

dirk.boehm@sky.de

twitter.com/SkyDeutschland

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I was just saying to a Bloo mate in work yesterday that it must be really difficult for him keeping track of which products to avoid because they are an "official partner" of Liverpool.

 

(It started with me warning him away from our official doughnuts.)