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Middle Class Generalisation Thread


Section_31
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1 hour ago, easytoslip said:

Haha, used to know a girl or two round there, the Station, the Blundell etc, worked on the beach and pinewoods about 78, built a road and car park using the rubble from Central Station, good funny times, Job Creation it was called, like a loonies jamboree. 

If my ashes don't slung on the ralla at Litherland, it'll be on the sand dunes. 

Judging by the potholes the last time we went to see the squirrels I dont think it's been upgraded since. 

 

Some good pubs around here , the Ince Blundell has been flattened now , but the Grapes , Cross House and Jurgen's local The Freshfield are decent. Just my luck they'll be closed until Xmas or so.

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6 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Mayo and chips? Bleurgh! Mayonnaise is the Devil's Jizz and should be nowhere near chips either.

I don't say this lightly, but mayonnaising chips is worse than beaning a breakfast or raping orphans.

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2 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Keep up Tone

 

(2) Boys and girls look the same until the age of around 10. With hair like Luke Skywalker and waterproof cagoules. They also tend to have asexual toys, neither guns and cars nor dolls, but instead things like colouring 'stations' and easels. 

The boys are all called Joshua or Oliver. Well they were when I went to Centerparcs and the parents were telling them off for wanting another packet of crisps from the shop saying it would slow them down on their bike ride the next day.

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19 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Judging by the potholes the last time we went to see the squirrels I dont think it's been upgraded since. 

 

Some good pubs around here , the Ince Blundell has been flattened now , but the Grapes , Cross House and Jurgen's local The Freshfield are decent. Just my luck they'll be closed until Xmas or so.

Can't remember the  Cross House, my brother in law has a sister who lives by the Freshfield, years ago our kids bird did too, he lived in Tarn Rd for a while not far from the station, I used to know Jubilee Rd. Is the Blundell the Ince Blundell? Think it was on a roundabout? 

I'd be surprised if those roads and car parks are still there as there used to be a caravan thing but is now been covered by the sand dunes, though maybe some bits are, hope the Natterjacks are there still., we had to build round them. 

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1 hour ago, TheHowieLama said:

They would if they could.

 

Regular skiing guy goes to the Alps.

Not sure I made myself clear. Regular blokes can play the best courses in the world, I’ve played golf at the K Club and I’ve played golf about 8 times.*
 

Most (90%) footballers wouldn’t be surprised if a slide tackle ended up with a leg full of dog shit

 

* I was flown out to Dublin, night on the piss. As a non-golfer I was conscious of staying off the piss so didn’t embarrass myself the next day. Managed an hour but got bullied into boozing, ended up in a casino in Dublin till 4am, woke up to my boss picking me out of bed and dropping me in the bath and turning on the shower. Didn’t win. 

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10 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Not sure I made myself clear. Regular blokes can play the best courses in the world, I’ve played golf at the K Club and I’ve played golf about 8 times.*
 

Most (90%) footballers wouldn’t be surprised if a slide tackle ended up with a leg full of dog shit

 

* I was flown out to Dublin, night on the piss. As a non-golfer I was conscious of staying off the piss so didn’t embarrass myself the next day. Managed an hour but got bullied into boozing, ended up in a casino in Dublin till 4am, woke up to my boss picking me out of bed and dropping me in the bath and turning on the shower. Didn’t win. 

All well and good - but if you were able to play on a top pitch you would.

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  • 1 month later...

They get wound up by planning applications, usually over something innocuous, like a barn conversion on the land of someone who has more money than them, or a solitary wind turbine in a farmer's field they can just about see with binoculars.

 

They have a genuine sense of umbrage if local papers and all forms of local authority don't side with their view, as they've worked hard all their lives but things like this make you wonder 'what's it all for?'

 

They're often able to devote enough spare time to become minor experts in the field, employ planning lawyers or shady consultants, and if necessary mobilise large meetings of fellow concerned residents. Said group will often be dubbed "local association of concerned residents". A group which coincidentally has largely right wing views. 

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20 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

They get wound up by planning applications, usually over something innocuous, like a barn conversion on the land of someone who has more money than them, or a solitary wind turbine in a farmer's field they can just about see with binoculars.

 

They have a genuine sense of umbrage if local papers and all forms of local authority don't side with their view, as they've worked hard all their lives but things like this make you wonder 'what's it all for?'

 

They're often able to devote enough spare time to become minor experts in the field, employ planning lawyers or shady consultants, and if necessary mobilise large meetings of fellow concerned residents. Said group will often be dubbed "local association of concerned residents". A group which coincidentally has largely right wing views. 

We’re very peculiar as a nation. It’s like when someone grasses on someone else for cutting a tree down in their own garden. As if you could be arsed. (In whiny middle class voice) ‘hnnnhh, that tree is protected, I shall report you to the authorities’ 

Can you imagine, years from now lying on your deathbed and reminiscing about your life and thinking ‘a real highlight was grassing on someone for chopping their own tree down, those really were the glory days’

I also don’t like old people from villages who take it upon themselves to somehow get hold of a speed gun as it gives them a feeling of power and purpose. They stand round in their high vis jackets feeling on top of the world hoping it’s their shift when the local paper comes to report on it. They normally look like that old guy who swore blind he hadn’t been ordering mucky movies.

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  • 2 months later...

The dad always has a favorite curry house or other restaurant that he insists on taking any guests or visitors to, even if it's shit, because he feels like he knows the owner purely because he eats there so often and knows his first name.

 

When leading said guests into the restaurant he'll ask the staff where the owner is. Whatever table they get he will declare to be the 'best seats in the house'.

 

If the food is shit you have to pretend it's not, and he'll insist you've got extra peas in your lamb samosa because the owner knows him.

 

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  • 1 month later...

They've completely taken over the parks because nobody else has time to fuckimg go as they're doing three jobs and/or are suicidal.

 

Next catalogue families of four wearing matching bobble hats whether it's cold or not, mummy gets a hot chocolate, Oliver and olivia share the dregs. Dad doesn't have time for one as he's up ahead on one knee with his telephoto lens snapping pics of birdshit. Pics he'll of course make black and white so they look better before he puts them on Instagram.

 

Couple of chubby 40 something women who met at slimming World years ago but are still fat comparing dogs. 

 

"Ooh what's that?"

"It's half sausage dog and half Jill Dando's real killer. What's yours?"

"Oh mine's a rescue dog from Sarajevo."

"Oh I thought it was quite nice there now?"

"That's what they want you to think."

"Does it speak English?"

"No, just Bosnian, Serbian, and a little bit of Albanian."

 

Fuck off back to the garden centre you cunts.

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Hahahaha. 

 

Tell you what middle class cunts don't like. You daring to do anything they're doing. Walking the dog is a great example. Its all tuts and disapproving looks and a walk with an air of superiority. Yeah you keep your jeans tucked into your wellies with your purple gilet on you haven't had a proper orgasm in years you loose women loving tory cunt 

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2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Hahahaha. 

 

Tell you what middle class cunts don't like. You daring to do anything they're doing. Walking the dog is a great example. Its all tuts and disapproving looks and a walk with an air of superiority. Yeah you keep your jeans tucked into your wellies with your purple gilet on you haven't had a proper orgasm in years you loose women loving tory cunt 

People who live in new build estates are always up in arms when there's a new phase of said new build estate. 

 

"We don't have the infrastructure, roads are going to be too busy." 

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Just now, Section_31 said:

People who live in new build estates are always up in arms when there's a new phase of said new build estate. 

 

"We don't have the infrastructure, roads are going to be too busy." 

Spot on.  Our estate is 8 years old, but people are up in arms about new housing being built up the road.  

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They all subscribe to Joe Wicks' Youtube fitness page, and buy a set of organic ethically-sourced yoga mats and trainers (from Amazon of course), but the only stretching or exercise involves holding a pose so they can upload a pic to Instagram or Facebook.

 

They give their house a name like something out of a Jane Austen novel, then complain when the postman walks right past without delivering their mail.

 

They own a set of golf clubs complete with golfing gloves, visor hats and shoes, yet never go and play golf.

 

 

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24 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

People who live in new build estates are always up in arms when there's a new phase of said new build estate. 

 

"We don't have the infrastructure, roads are going to be too busy." 

 

22 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

Spot on.  Our estate is 8 years old, but people are up in arms about new housing being built up the road.  

To be fair, the infrastructure generally isn't there for the initial build phase, never mind additional housing. We moved to a new build in East Yorkshire in 2003, and it was comfortable for a couple of years- they then completed two more stages and within 18 months it was taking 15-20 minutes just to get out of the estate (naturally there was only one entrance in and out, leading directly onto a roundabout to the A63/ M62), GP appointment lead times increased from a week or so to over a month and the local supermarket has to rearrange its shelves 3 times and expand into a warehouse it got that busy.

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13 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Middle class people are obsessed with bread, bread making, sourdough, artisan breads, all sorts of shit The irony is that the more affluent you are the less you are likely to eat bread, both individually and as a society.

 

 

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3 hours ago, Mudface said:

 

To be fair, the infrastructure generally isn't there for the initial build phase, never mind additional housing. We moved to a new build in East Yorkshire in 2003, and it was comfortable for a couple of years- they then completed two more stages and within 18 months it was taking 15-20 minutes just to get out of the estate (naturally there was only one entrance in and out, leading directly onto a roundabout to the A63/ M62), GP appointment lead times increased from a week or so to over a month and the local supermarket has to rearrange its shelves 3 times and expand into a warehouse it got that busy.

I’d say in general that the amount of development people are happy with stops after the particular level of development that allowed them to live in a place.  Strange that. 
 

Ive just arrived home to the sound of the neighbour playing classical piano. Might see if C5 are interested. 

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10 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

I’d say in general that the amount of development people are happy with stops after the particular level of development that allowed them to live in a place.  Strange that. 

It depends what happens, I guess. If they throw up 3 story houses at the bottom of your garden, your view of the estuary goes and the traffic outside your house increases threefold, then the reasons why you bought the house in the first place rapidly vanish. Neither of those happened to us, by the way, the people it happened to had the massive show houses at the other end of the estate- our part was already fully developed.

 

It also doesn't help when the developer promises to leave a certain amount of green space, then decides to count the area of the grass verges on the pavement in the total...

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51 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

I’d say in general that the amount of development people are happy with stops after the particular level of development that allowed them to live in a place.  Strange that. 
 

Ive just arrived home to the sound of the neighbour playing classical piano. Might see if C5 are interested. 

Same with the countryside.

 

"We don't like people moving to the countryside."

 

"Didn't you move here?"

 

"That's not the point."

 

Same applies to visiting the countryside, or driving through it.

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