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Middle Class Generalisation Thread

Section_31

By Section_31,
in GF - General Forum

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Captain Turdseye Grand Master

Captain Turdseye

Posted
Posted
Just now, General Dryness said:

Not having that story Turdsy, it's far too one sided with him just being a twat for no reason. You have to have done something to piss him off. 

Unless you're Ned Flanders and he's Homer Simpson of course.

 

He was pissed up and acted the knob. Everything was fine up until that exact moment. 

 

Granted, I retaliated at the crack of dawn the next morning, but he started it. 

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Babb'sBurstNad
Babb'sBurstNad

I remember it like it was yesterday (which it WASN'T!). I was about 9 or 10, and a rumour spread there was a jazz mag in some dense woods behind a local recreation ground. A group of us set off in sea

Section_31
Section_31

(1) If you go to visit someone on a middle class estate, 10 minutes into the visit one of the other residents on the road (not necessarily a direct neighbour) will knock and ask  them if they know who

Section_31
Section_31

Man that's beautiful.   Wasn't the first time I'd seen one but at about aged 12 me and a couple of mates found a page form a jazz mag which had been ripped out on the floor of the 80A bus on

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Captain Turdseye Grand Master

Captain Turdseye

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Posted
On 7/9/2016 at 8:37 PM, Captain Turdseye said:

Been giving my gardener an extra fiver for a while just to mow the patch of grass on the front of next door whilst he's doing ours. There's only about eight square feet in front of each of our houses but there's no fence so it looks stupid if only half of it is cut.

 

Came home yesterday and next door's had his own mower out and done his own grass, stopping before he encroaches onto our side.

 

I'm gonna kill him.

 

On 7/10/2016 at 11:19 AM, Captain Turdseye said:

They're actually in the process of selling up at the minute. I'm giving serious thought to just leaving ours to grow at the front so any potential buyers are put off by the scruffy bastards living next door. Got my bird keeping an eye on their Facebook pages for clues as to when they're having viewings as well. If I find out when they are I'll blast some Eminem and smoke some weed in the back garden.

 

As you can tell, I've not taken it personally at all.

 

On 7/29/2016 at 6:39 PM, Captain Turdseye said:

Had old Mick the gardener round yesterday to trim my bush and that. I made sure he only cut our side of the grass. Next door have gone away and out of pure spite I'm not gonna put their blue bin out next week.

 

Have that you cunts.

 

On 1/29/2017 at 11:10 AM, Captain Turdseye said:

A couple of years back the fella next door knocked at ours at about midday and asked me to turn the music down because he was on nights. It wasn't even loud, only playing through a Bluetooth speaker but fair enough, I just popped some headphones in instead.

 

Fast forward to now, one of their kids must have got a new stereo for Christmas, they get left alone most of the time and I've had to go round and knock a couple of times because my house has been shaking with the bass from next door. The kids lower it down without any drama but last night it started up about half ten. Proper shite music like that song off Frozen and Unchained Melody. It's him, pissed up, singing along to that shite.

 

My bird went round, asked him politely to lower it down as we had the kids in bed and he basically told her no, laughed at her and slammed the door. Then he went back in and turned it up even more. Absolute gobshite. I went round and had a row on the doorstep which ended with him threatening to phone the police on me. I'm raging with the fat cunt and I'll be having words again next time I bump into him on the front. I brought his kid into our house last week after he'd gotten home from school in his PE kit and found that they'd locked him out and wouldn't be back for a couple of hours. That happens fairly often and I'll let him get hyperthermia next time.

 

He still works nights and I'm at home all day so if he wants it like this I'm cool with it. I've been up since 8am 'doing some diy' with a hammer and I've got a new found love for drum and bass. I've also found that it sounds loads better when I turn the speaker round so it's against the wall.

 

On 1/29/2017 at 4:28 PM, Captain Turdseye said:

Had some pop music and CBeebies songs while my girls had their disco ball out. Back to drum and bass now. Gonna break out some Clubland Hardcore in the morning.

 

Alright, maybe I am a cunt, but he started it by not mowing my grass. 

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Scrump Rising Star

Scrump

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Posted

Great thread - equally amused and depressed by some of the things on here that don't and do apply to my comfortable southern middle class existence. 

(And it looks like pointing out I was born in Southport and spent my first 9 months in Formby isn't going to help in this thread!) 

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VladimirIlyich Grand Master

VladimirIlyich

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On 9/16/2018 at 6:11 PM, Scrump said:

Great thread - equally amused and depressed by some of the things on here that don't and do apply to my comfortable southern middle class existence. 

(And it looks like pointing out I was born in Southport and spent my first 9 months in Formby isn't going to help in this thread!) 

As middle class as fuck,even before you moved darn sarff.

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Section_31 Grand Master

Section_31

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Middle aged middle class men say 'yes' a lot for no reason during conversations, possibly as a substitute for 'erm'.

 

"So john how's business." 

 

'Well...YES okay in actual fact, can't complain, new girl in the office seems to be picking things up so...YES. And how are you?"

 

'Not too bad, taking the kids to Centre Parcs next week, bit cold but...YES not too bad.'

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El Rojo Grand Master

El Rojo

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Posted
On 10/17/2017 at 7:28 PM, belarus said:

Er, isn't it French and isn't it actually 'papier'. Isn't that just the word? It's not like saying garaarrge instead of garridge or baarth instead of bath. It's what it is. Going out your way to sound not middle class is pretty middle class behaviour, like them private school cunts with bandanas on and their kecks round their knees, but are called Charles or Rupert.

Rupert didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose Rupert. 

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TheBitch Grand Master

TheBitch

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2 minutes ago, aRdja said:

Where you going?

Two weeks in Sri Lanka with Mrs TheBitch, then she flys home, then I've 2 weeks unplanned, hoping to get a late deal on a liveaboard dive trip somewhere around SE Asia before heading into Thailand where I've already sorted 6 nights diving the Similan islands off the coast of Thailand. 

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ZonkoVille77 Grand Master

ZonkoVille77

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14 hours ago, TheBitch said:

Two weeks in Sri Lanka with Mrs TheBitch, then she flys home, then I've 2 weeks unplanned, hoping to get a late deal on a liveaboard dive trip somewhere around SE Asia before heading into Thailand where I've already sorted 6 nights diving the Similan islands off the coast of Thailand. 

 

If I go the shops on my own the missus gets nervous that I won't come back.

There wouldn't be a hope in the world of me getting that much time alone away from her without having to lose a limb or organ.

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