The Local News Thread

[Anubis]

Seriously, though, how did she end up with a sentence like that?

No idea. To be honest in our office we were betting between a suspended sentence and two years tops.

[Kevin D]

The victim must be really attractive, or really rich.

[General Dryness]

No idea. To be honest in our office we were betting between a suspended sentence and two years tops.

She probably asked for a longer sentence. She'll have more minge than she knows what to do with when she goes inside. Her tongue will be the size of Arnies bicep in a fortnight.

[Stickman]

I wonder if for lunchtime she'll pass on the meat and two veg ?

[General Dryness]

If its fish pie she'll be after seconds.

 

Etc.

[Oh Buoy]

16 years been shot on a road near mine. 

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/vauxhall-shooting-murder-investigation-launched-10448454

 

Didn't hear anything but apparently it's been consecutive nights (Sat/Sun). 

 

Police have taped off the road and there's been a high presence over the weekend. 

 

Told one of the lads today that I've got it covered: 

 

[Captain Turdseye]

"The bins will not change colour"

 

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/incoming/runcorn-remain-part-cheshire-10464769

[Dougie Do'ins]

Shag someone with a fake cock gets you 8 years.

 

A banned driver goes out pissed in a speeding car and kills a dad of two gets 6 and a half years. The mind fucking boggles.

 

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/banned-drink-driver-who-killed-10549311

[Champ]

The Forth Road Bridge has been closed until the New Year

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-35017314

 

and they've been hastily setting up alternative arrangements for getting people in and out of town, so hasty that when I went to get the bus into town this afternoon and I asked for the bus station the bus driver asked me if I knew the way. I thought he was being funny. It turned out he'd arrived from Yorkshire this morning as a relief driver for the extra buses they're putting on and been handed a sheet with directions on and told to drive to the bus station. I ended up reading the directions out to him and pointing out the bus stops en route. He'd never even been to Edinburgh before.

 

If I'd been quicker thinking I'd have got him to take a bit of a detour and drop me off at the garage where the car was geing repaired

[stringvest]

The Forth Road Bridge has been closed until the New Year

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-35017314

 

and they've been hastily setting up alternative arrangements for getting people in and out of town, so hasty that when I went to get the bus into town this afternoon and I asked for the bus station the bus driver asked me if I knew the way. I thought he was being funny. It turned out he'd arrived from Yorkshire this morning as a relief driver for the extra buses they're putting on and been handed a sheet with directions on and told to drive to the bus station. I ended up reading the directions out to him and pointing out the bus stops en route. He'd never even been to Edinburgh before.

 

If I'd been quicker thinking I'd have got him to take a bit of a detour and drop me off at the garage where the car was geing repaired

 

what are the chances of that?  

 

 

 

A bloke asking a woman for directions I mean.

[Champ]

what are the chances of that?  

 

 

 

A bloke asking a woman for directions I mean.

Haha. Wait til Mr Champ hears this

[Mook]

The Forth Road Bridge has been closed until the New Year

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-35017314

 

and they've been hastily setting up alternative arrangements for getting people in and out of town, so hasty that when I went to get the bus into town this afternoon and I asked for the bus station the bus driver asked me if I knew the way. I thought he was being funny. It turned out he'd arrived from Yorkshire this morning as a relief driver for the extra buses they're putting on and been handed a sheet with directions on and told to drive to the bus station. I ended up reading the directions out to him and pointing out the bus stops en route. He'd never even been to Edinburgh before.

 

If I'd been quicker thinking I'd have got him to take a bit of a detour and drop me off at the garage where the car was geing repaired

 

Anything that keeps the Fifers out is fine by me, I've heard from bridge ITKs that it's going to be closed until the end of January at the very least & that it won't be able take HGVs ever again.

[lifetime fan]

Bristol Steiner School is to close because it's not 'economically viable'.

 

Mass fraud more like. See this is the national press in the next month.

[stringvest]

Anything that keeps the Fifers out is fine by me, I've heard from bridge ITKs that it's going to be closed until the end of January at the very least & that it won't be able take HGVs ever again.

 

Is that Tokyo?

[Mook]

Is that Tokyo?

Ha ha, he's a bridge NITK.

[Champ]

Anything that keeps the Fifers out.

Haha, I put that bit in and then thought better of it. I'm guessing it'll be many people's sentiments

[Anubis]

Well it's local to Florida! When burglaries go wrong.

 

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/dec/08/florida-police-chase-burglary-suspect-eaten-by-alligator?CMP=twt_gu

 

A 22-year-old man suspected of burglarizing homes in Florida was killed and partially eaten by an 11ft (3.4-meter) alligator after he waded into a lake, apparently to avoid detection by law enforcement officers pursuing him, police said on Tuesday.

 

An autopsy on the man, Matthew Riggins of Palm Bay, determined that he drowned in November after an apparent alligator attack. A necropsy on the alligator revealed parts of the man’s body in the reptile’s stomach, according to a report released this week by the Brevard County sheriff’s office.

 

Sheriff’s deputies chased Riggins and another suspect with dogs and a helicopter on 13 November, after residents in the Barefoot Bay community reported two men walking behind houses, authorities said.

 

No suspects were caught that night. Riggins was reported missing by his family when he did not return home, according to the sheriff’s report. His body was found 10 days later floating in a lake, with an aggressive gator standing guard, sheriff’s major Tod Goodyear said.

 

“I believe he was hiding,” Goodyear said of how Riggins ended up in the lake. “With the dogs out there, it’s not a bad idea to go into the water.”

 

Goodyear said Riggins had told his girlfriend by telephone that he would be burglarizing homes the evening of 13 November and later told her he was being chased by deputies.

[Lee909]

Yeah,read that earlier.

 

Karma can be a bitch.

[Rico1304]

The Forth Road Bridge has been closed until the New Year

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-35017314

and they've been hastily setting up alternative arrangements for getting people in and out of town, so hasty that when I went to get the bus into town this afternoon and I asked for the bus station the bus driver asked me if I knew the way. I thought he was being funny. It turned out he'd arrived from Yorkshire this morning as a relief driver for the extra buses they're putting on and been handed a sheet with directions on and told to drive to the bus station. I ended up reading the directions out to him and pointing out the bus stops en route. He'd never even been to Edinburgh before.

If I'd been quicker thinking I'd have got him to take a bit of a detour and drop me off at the garage where the car was geing repaired

Why don't they just use the other 3?

[Captain Turdseye]

71 things to do in Widnes before you die.

 

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/local-news/71-things-widnes-before-you-10577052

 

Seriously. I'll take death please.

[Dougie Do'ins]

Driver leaves hilarious note and gift for traffic warden in cheeky bid to escape a parking ticket

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/driver-leaves-crisps-traffic-warden-10608395

[cloggypop]

Big sprouts in St Helens

 

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/biggest-brussels-sprouts-youve-ever-10611073

[Dougie Do'ins]

Big sprouts in St Helens

 

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/biggest-brussels-sprouts-youve-ever-10611073

Look like really small cabbages to me.

[stringvest]

He'd better sleep outdoors after consuming those fuckers.

[cloggypop]

Swansea man gets drunk, steals boss's car and crashes it. Then he does it again with his other car.

 

http://m.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/Jail-man-took-employers-vehicle-drunk-crashed/story-28369814-detail/story.html