The Local News Thread

[John102]

Todays Mumsnet article

 

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/mum-stunned-couple-sit-down-20920001?fbclid=IwAR12F8uzA44BLKzVMwm_8hgAvPGvW5EdmxOYDP2GyPaZI8cRzOY34Z-XjBc

[AngryOfTuebrook]

I used to be sceptical about horoscopes, but now I think the position of heavenly bodies can affect our lives.  For example, the position of Jupiter means that this copper is going to have the piss taken out of her for years to come.

 

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/police-officer-followed-by-jupiter-24554188?fbclid=IwAR3hrUQKIX0ZIV8jXtQclpklCAe8H051HnwS_rklZpALZQ-YqE8cEJF3AmE

 

A rookie Scots police officer feared she was being pursued for miles by a drone – but the bright light in the sky was actually a planet.

 

It was only after a drawn-out “pursuit” that she sought help from senior officers, who told her it was Jupiter – some 365 million miles away.

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I used to be sceptical about horoscopes, but now I think the position of heavenly bodies can affect our lives.  For example, the position of Jupiter means that this copper is going to have the piss taken out of her for years to come.

 

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/police-officer-followed-by-jupiter-24554188?fbclid=IwAR3hrUQKIX0ZIV8jXtQclpklCAe8H051HnwS_rklZpALZQ-YqE8cEJF3AmE

 

A rookie Scots police officer feared she was being pursued for miles by a drone – but the bright light in the sky was actually a planet.

 

It was only after a drawn-out “pursuit” that she sought help from senior officers, who told her it was Jupiter – some 365 million miles away.

I hope they drugs tested her on the spot. Well actually I don’t I wouldn’t wish a sacking on anyone but she’s clearly off her nut 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

I hope they drugs tested her on the spot. Well actually I don’t I wouldn’t wish a sacking on anyone but she’s clearly off her nut 

It's possible.

 

The officer, who is in her first two years of service, was told to return to her station where she would be met by a senior officer.

 

She was found standing in the police yard with her hood up trying to hide from the “drone” and pointed out the bright white dot in the sky. They told her it was Jupiter, which is often visible on a clear night.

[VladimirIlyich]

4 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I used to be sceptical about horoscopes, but now I think the position of heavenly bodies can affect our lives.  For example, the position of Jupiter means that this copper is going to have the piss taken out of her for years to come.

 

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/police-officer-followed-by-jupiter-24554188?fbclid=IwAR3hrUQKIX0ZIV8jXtQclpklCAe8H051HnwS_rklZpALZQ-YqE8cEJF3AmE

 

A rookie Scots police officer feared she was being pursued for miles by a drone – but the bright light in the sky was actually a planet.

 

It was only after a drawn-out “pursuit” that she sought help from senior officers, who told her it was Jupiter – some 365 million miles away.

Like a dog chasing its own shadow,or avoiding it in this case.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Imagine any time she has to give testimony in court.

 

"And how far were you from the counter in Mr McNobby's sweet shop when you claim to have seen Mr Bjornebye steal the pickled onion Monster Munch?"

 

"About 10 feet."

 

"Are you sure?  With your skill for estimating distances, was it 10 feet, or was it 365 million miles?"

[Anubis]

That could easily have fitted into The World of a Woman thread,

[Trumo]

"Jupiter the bringer of jollity" suddenly makes sense.

[Stickman]

Doesn't he know that with great power comes great responsibility 

 

 

Five people have been arrested after a violent incident in a London supermarket.

Police said they were called to Asda on Lavender Hill near Clapham Junction at 10.40pm on Thursday to reports of a group of people involved in a disturbance.

Video footage posted on social media shows a woman staff member being kicked in the throat and punched in the face by a man dressed in a Spider-Man costume.

Onlookers can be heard shouting at the attackers, with one woman calling out, "oh my God!".

Another clip shows a brawl in the warehouse area of the shop involving Asda employees and several people wearing costumes.

A person in a wheelchair is seen to be pulled back from the fight, and the man in the Spider-Man costume can be seen hitting people with what appears to be a single crutch.

 

https://www.itv.com/news/london/2021-07-23/five-arrested-after-asda-brawl-involving-man-in-spider-man-costume

[Anubis]

Black Widow has let herself go if he can take her down that easily.

[Anubis]

What the actual fuck was this over? You’ve got Spiderman, Batman, Super Mario, Ali G, a nun, possibly Supergirl, and some random nutter in a wheelchair,

 

 

[Iceman]

That was superb. They moved through that stock room like a real superhero wrecking crew. Good improvisational use of tools by Spidey and great combination work with Ali G. The commentary and camera work were also to be commended. 

[Trumo]

Disappointed not to see Thor of Asda or Irn Bru Man get involved.

[Stickman]

9 hours ago, Anubis said:

What the actual fuck was this over? You’ve got Spiderman, Batman, Super Mario, Ali G, a nun, possibly Supergirl, and some random nutter in a wheelchair,

 

 

 

Good to see the guy in the wheelchair wasn’t prepared to be pushed around 

[Bjornebye]

Spider-Man is a proper cunt I hope he got webbed outside 

[VladimirIlyich]

3 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Spider-Man is a proper cunt I hope he got webbed outside 

Punching a woman in the face and knocking her out is a shithouse trick.

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Punching a woman in the face and knocking her out is a shithouse trick.

Yep. Too many people just stood by and let it happen. I've seen people on twitter saying she started it with the asda girl (who is apparently his sister) despite the fact the girl hit the asda girl first. He should have been filled in for that on the spot. 

[lifetime fan]

Some bloke is running around the streets of where the boys dad lives (they’re with him at the moment) shooting people. 
 

3 air ambulance crews on site and local reports of 2 dead. 
 

She’s shitting it and in histerics. 

[Bjornebye]

Nuts 

[YorkshireRed]

14 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Some bloke is running around the streets of where the boys dad lives (they’re with him at the moment) shooting people. 
 

3 air ambulance crews on site and local reports of 2 dead. 
 

She’s shitting it and in histerics. 

Just seen this on the news flash. Hope all ok. 

[Davelfc]

A major incident is currently unfolding in Plymouth with the Hazardous Area Response Unit (HART), police and air ambulances attending. 

Eyewitnesses have claimed that they heard "loud bangs" and gun shots".

According to recent reports, the three ambulances, not four as originally thought, have landed in North Prospect area of Plymouth this evening.

An eyewitness said: "Looks to be some sort of serious incident north of St Levan’s Road.

 

"Both Devon and Cornwall Air Ambulances have landed and a lot of police/emergency unmarked heading that way.

"Three air ambulances and NPAS now."

Another added: "Have 2 medical helicopters and police helicopter flying around north prospect area."

South Western Ambulance Service wrote on Twitter: "We were called at 18:12 to an ongoing incident in Plymouth. We responded to the incident with a significant number of resources, including Hazardous Area Response Teams (HART), multiple ambulances, air ambulances, multiple doctors and senior paramedics." 

 

Luke Pollard, MP for Plymouth, said: "Really worrying news coming out of Keyham in Plymouth. 

"Please can everyone stay safe, stay indoors and follow police advice."

According to reports air ambulances from across the country, including Southampton and Dorset, are at the scene. 

A nearby school sports centre has been told close down with people indoors being ordered to leave. 

 

Cordons, which are constantly expanding, have been put in place around a block of flats to prevent pedestrians from walking along. 

The road on which the incident took place has now completely closed. 

Johnny Mercer, MP for Plymouth Moor View, said: "I'm aware of a serious and tragic incident unfolding in Plymouth.

"Please obey all instructions from the Police and do not post rumours or speculation on social media."

 

 

[Bjornebye]

State of this stupid cow. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Anubis]

32 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Some bloke is running around the streets of where the boys dad lives (they’re with him at the moment) shooting people. 
 

3 air ambulance crews on site and local reports of 2 dead. 
 

She’s shitting it and in histerics. 

Hope they’re all ok, Col. Terrible business.

[Rushies tash]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

State of this stupid cow. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Don't spread narratives"

 

"Possibly terror related".

 

Ffs.

[Bjornebye]

Another cunt