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Premier League Round Up (Jan 10-11 2015)

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This was the Hannibal Smith of weekends. The kind of weekend where you sit back with a big cigar afterwards and celebrate how all the pieces came together nicely. The kind of weekend that came regularly for us last season, but this year have been rarer than a full house at Goodison.

Usually when we play in the early game we completely ruin the weekend for ourselves. This time we won though, meaning we could sit back and watch as three of the five teams we are looking to overhaul dropped points. Four of six if you think there’s any hope that City might come falling back into the pack. Fat Frank chance of that happening I’d say, especially now they’ve gone out and paid £30m for Bony.

Speaking of which, I have a question. How can City pay that kind of money for a player when they’ve had FFP sanctions? Seriously, I don’t understand how all this stuff works as I’m no accountant, but it seems to me that most teams seem to still be able to keep shelling out big money for players while our own club counts pennies, boasts of record breaking sponsorship deals whilst cutting the wage bill and speaking of operating within FFP. Either our owners are full of shit or everyone else are finding ways to circumvent the rules. Probably both actually.

Back to the football though, and I’ll kick things off this week with City’s trip to the Pit to face the free falling Blueshite. The Citizens (worst nickname ever by the way) dominated the first half but it was the Toffees (second worst) who went closest to a goal when Coleman hit the bar. City eventually went in front through Fernandinho but unlike last season Everton refused to give up this time. Naismith headed an equaliser almost immediately and that’s how it finished.

Poor Everton though. Having scored a last gasp equaliser to force a replay against West Ham in the cup, they then turned in a heroic display at Upton Park despite being reduced to ten men and forced extra time and penalties. The shoot out went on and on until eventually their keeper missed and West Ham’s scored to send them out. Another trophy-less year for the Blues but at least they’ve got a relegation battle to keep them interested.

I didn’t actually follow the Saturday 3pm games live and hadn’t seen the scores. So when I heard John Carver on the car radio gushing about what Newcastle had done I went and got my hopes up that they’d beaten Chelsea. Well what else was I supposed to think, he comes on saying how much he thinks he deserves the job full time and that “this shows what I can do when I’ve got a full week to prepare the team”.

“Fucking hell, they must have won!” I said to myself. No, they lost 2-0. Might want to work on your sales pitch a little there, John. Although given that it’s Mike Ashley who’ll be doing the hiring it probably doesn’t matter anyway. Just take him in a crate of Stella and put on a cockney accent, that’ll do it.

In fairness to Carver, Newcastle did trouble Chelsea at times but Mourinho’s men still ended up winning comfortable enough. The Geordies dominated the first half with Cabella and the outstanding Sissoko running through Chelsea’s defence at will. They didn’t score though and were eventually undone with a quickly taken corner just before half time. Chelsea’s second was brilliant, finished by Costa but superbly worked by Hazard and Oscar.

We play these twats next week in the League Cup semis, and it’s fair to say my expectation levels are somewhere between low and Roy Hodgson.

Mourinho has stopped doing interviews and press conferences now apparently. He’s sulking after being charged by the FA over his comments about Phil Dowd last week. I’m glad to see him charged, but I’ll be even more glad if they throw the fucking book at him. Who the hell does he think he is acting like he’s the one being victimised here?

He basically said Phil Dowd is too fat to do his job. This from a man who selected Lampard in his midfield around 400 times. Seriously though, if Dowd makes a mistake it’s because he’s not a great referee, not because he’s a bit of a porker. He’s passed all the fitness tests he needed to so this is simply not an issue. If this was America Dowd could probably sue him for that shit.

This whole tiresome ‘fat’ narrative was started by Ferguson a few years back and it’s an easy stick to beat Dowd with any time he gets something wrong. The thing is though, he didn’t even get those decisions wrong last week, it’s just Mourinho acting the cunt again. Some sort of ban is definitely in order. Possibly a touchline ban, but preferably a stadium one, or better yet, a country one. Just stick the twat on the first plane out, regardless of where it’s going. Fucking scumbag.



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Phil Dowd refereed Chelsea 4 times in the PL last year. Chelsea won them all, including wins over Arsenal and United. He sent opposing players off in 2 of those games.


Presumably he passed the necessary fitness tests then too.


Mourinho is one of these classless people who believe that success and wealth exempt them from standards of professionalism, respect, courtesy and decency.


He is also now a crashing bore. I find these self-imposed 'silences' of his refreshing.

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