Little Things That Brighten Your Day

[littletedwest]

11 hours ago, Remmie said:

An end user at an old job was called Sedat Kunt. I also worked with a Saddam Hussein. One of the clients complained about Saddam obviously taking the piss by signing off an email with his name. The client got pulled into a disciplinary! 

A lad who used work at carphone warehouse in the Trafford Centre changed his name by deed pole to Rolf Harris. It wasn't funny at the time but did become hilarious a few years after

[Dr Nowt]

Some from the list my mate compiled at Barclays and then Siemens:

 

[manwiththestick]

Barrie Slaymaker is an excellent name.

[Dr Nowt]

1 hour ago, manwiththestick said:

Barrie Slaymaker is an excellent name.

The Fingerhut one is outstanding.

 

Up there with this place I walked past in Tintagel, for names I’ve appropriated as descriptors of a girlfriend’s special areas.

 

…and that’s why I’m single.

 

[Bjornebye]

I defo know number 19 

[A Red]

For years dismissing Pink Floyd as a bunch of toffs doing self indulgent shit music then tonight actually listening to them

[Bjornebye]

51 minutes ago, A Red said:

For years dismissing Pink Floyd as a bunch of toffs doing self indulgent shit music then tonight actually listening to them

You lucky bastard 

[Mudface]

1 hour ago, A Red said:

For years dismissing Pink Floyd as a bunch of toffs doing self indulgent shit music then tonight actually listening to them

Don't listen too hard, they're depressing motherfuckers.

[redinblack]

Going to the fridge thinking Id drunk the last of my cans and finding one hiding in the corner

[YorkshireRed]

Got in very late last night. Years of training means I know better than to try and access the marital bed whilst skunk as a drunk in the wee small hours so I bedded down on the sofa. I was expecting a frosty wife when she came downstairs but she’s just been in and said good morning and appears relatively chipper. 
 

At the moment this is a little thing that’s brightened my day.

 

All those in/who’ve been in long relationships will know, this is not where it ends.

 

I await my fate like a condemned man. 

[jonnyp]

13 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Got in very late last night. Years of training means I know better than to try and access the marital bed whilst skunk as a drunk in the wee small hours so I bedded down on the sofa. I was expecting a frosty wife when she came downstairs but she’s just been in and said good morning and appears relatively chipper. 
 

At the moment this is a little thing that’s brightened my day.

 

All those in/who’ve been in long relationships will know, this is not where it ends.

 

I await my fate like a condemned man. 

You know it’s going to get significantly worse if it starts out so well. 
 

The forum’s thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.

[VladimirIlyich]

17 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Got in very late last night. Years of training means I know better than to try and access the marital bed whilst skunk as a drunk in the wee small hours so I bedded down on the sofa. I was expecting a frosty wife when she came downstairs but she’s just been in and said good morning and appears relatively chipper. 
 

At the moment this is a little thing that’s brightened my day.

 

All those in/who’ve been in long relationships will know, this is not where it ends.

 

I await my fate like a condemned man. 

At the very least you are traipsing round DIY superstores in the near future. At worst you are having a home made sex change given by Mrs Yorkshire Red and a sharp knife.

[YorkshireRed]

5 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

At the very least you are traipsing round DIY superstores in the near future. At worst you are having a home made sex change given by Mrs Yorkshire Red and a sharp knife.

She’s just mentioned that the house needs ‘pointing’. I just nodded.

 

Hopefully she’ll go with the sex change possibility. It’ll be cheaper. 

[VladimirIlyich]

2 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

She’s just mentioned that the house needs ‘pointing’. I just nodded.

 

Hopefully she’ll go with the sex change possibility. It’ll be cheaper. 

 

[Rico1304]

2 hours ago, YorkshireRed said:

Got in very late last night. Years of training means I know better than to try and access the marital bed whilst skunk as a drunk in the wee small hours so I bedded down on the sofa. I was expecting a frosty wife when she came downstairs but she’s just been in and said good morning and appears relatively chipper. 
 

At the moment this is a little thing that’s brightened my day.

 

All those in/who’ve been in long relationships will know, this is not where it ends.

 

I await my fate like a condemned man. 

To be fair it does, and you are out of biscuits. 

[Captain Willard]

6 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

To be fair it does, and you are out of biscuits. 

He’s been next door and no invite for the rest of us as per usual. Lesbians, coke and  magicians for him whilst my Saturday night was sitting on the couch with Mrs Willard, alcohol free Lidl lager and match of the day. No fucking sympathy from the Epsom jury. 

[YorkshireRed]

2 minutes ago, Captain Willard said:

He’s been next door and no invite for the rest of us as per usual. Lesbians, coke and  magicians for him whilst my Saturday night was sitting on the couch with Mrs Willard, alcohol free Lidl lager and match of the day. No fucking sympathy from the Epsom jury. 

I have two pictures of one of the lesbians. I pilfered them from her FB page so don’t have permission to post on here.

Let’s just say, her breasts are ample. 

[Bjornebye]

17 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

I have two pictures of one of the lesbians. I pilfered them from her FB page so don’t have permission to post on here.

Let’s just say, her breasts are ample. 

All of our DMs are open 

[Carvalho Diablo]

20 hours ago, Justice Negs said:

Some from the list my mate compiled at Barclays and then Siemens:

 

Number 27 used to manage Wolfsburg in the Bundesliga.

 

True story.

[YorkshireRed]

Probably shouldn’t have posted that.

[Bjornebye]

Mo Mowlam 

[Rico1304]

Col will be all over that. 

[Creator Supreme]

21 hours ago, Justice Negs said:

Some from the list my mate compiled at Barclays and then Siemens:

 

Best ones I saw at work were Mr Stephen Twatt and Mr Fuk Yeu Yeung.

[Dr Nowt]

49 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Probably shouldn’t have posted that.

Shame about the birthmark.

 

Still would though.

[Captain Willard]

1 hour ago, YorkshireRed said:

Probably shouldn’t have posted that.

Lordy. My neighbour doesn’t look like that. She’s 82 and a Jevohah Withess. Can we swap houses ? I’ll Chuck in the allotment to sweeten the deal.