Your apocalypse essentials

[Stu Monty]

You wake up in a daze. You've smacked your head on the steering wheel and seem to have been involved in a crash. Luckily you're not to badly damaged. 

 

As you start to look around you at your environment you notice that in the distance there has been some unruly shit going down and it dawns on you that you are slap bang in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. 

 

As you open the boot what six items are you hoping are in there to give you the best chance from this point onwards. 

 

We will presume that there is a ruck-sack, empty 330ml coke bottle, basic first aid kit and a tyre iron in there as your basic starter pack. You get six additional items. You are in the US so there might be a firearm in the back if you wanted one, but you'll have to chose that as an item.

 

Go:

[Section_31]

An M16 assault rifle.

 

A tin opener.

 

A torch.

 

A machete.

 

A two way radio/cb.

 

A duster style coat.

[ZonkoVille77]

Food considered items?

 

Radio

Knife, proper cunting knife

Pen

Rain jacket

Binoculars

compass

[Spy Bee]

A jet pack

5 cans of premium lager

[aws]

Big container of water, automatic weapon, side gun, ammunition, night glasses, walking boots.

[TheHowieLama]

"Idiots Guide to Post Apocalyptic Survival" - audiobook version

[Bobby Hundreds]

A bycicle, no fucker ever has a bycicle. It would be useful for escaping it won't run out of petrol it would be my mode of transport. I'd have to have a gun but that's for the non infected because I'll be stealing their shit and if I bump into kelly brook she's in for a hard time. A very sharp large knife. Huge bolt cutters, a book on surviving in the wild and a crossbow with arrows.

[morgan]

Assuming that there's a 50ml 10% tincture of iodine in the first aid kit that I can use as a general-purpose anti-septic and water purifier...

1. 50m paracord - can be used for tripwires or to improvise shelter. Strong enough to take body weight, but light enough to carry easily. Can be used to get up high, where there will be fewer zombies.
2. Thermal clothing - stay as warm as possible while you sleep without having the heft (and enclosure) of a down bag.
3. Waterproof trousers and poncho - in European climates, you need to stay warm and that means you need to stay dry. Poncho can be used to make a shelter with the paracord if necessary.
4. Leatherman-style multitool - big enough blades for eating, bunch of handy widgets for opening tins, bottles, etc. Pliers also useful. Use the crowbar for self-defence at close quarters.
5. Radio - safety in numbers if you can find them.
6. OS Map of local area - figure out where the most likely safe routes are, if anyone broadcasts locations over the radio.

[moof]

Jet ski

Condoms

Tequila

Toothpaste

Razor

iPod (with headphones)

[Kevin D]

Pen, paper and a gun. The world was bad enough with humans, I'm not hanging around for a fucking apocalypse.

[The_Goat]

i'll have a home cinema system. I've always wanted one but could never justify the outlay. might as well splash the cash given the impending eating of my flesh

[Jairzinho]

Few ounces of beak

Few packs of cigarettes

Lighter

Assault rifle

Another few ounces of beak

Marion Cotillard

[Guest davelfc]

Wouldn't want an auto, wastes too much ammo and you can't aim properly and anything but a head shot is a waste of time.

 

1. A decent pump action shotgun and a (2.)machete. That should take care of a lot of situations. You'd hope they're the slow and dumb zombies and not the quick clever ones. 

 

3. Some kind of water sterilisation tablets or you can get a battery operated UV device.

 

4. A solar charger to keep my phone charged for maps so I know where the hell I am going and mark bad spots or any loot stores/weapons caches I come across. Would also help me locate nearest military base for a secure home with armoured transport and weaponry. Would also while away some time by playing games and taking selfies next to dead celebrity zombies. (I am aware that it would not work as a phone but for some years the satellites would still be operating for gps.

 

5. Wind up radio, to listen out for any signs of life or just pass the time, possibly use as a distraction.

 

6. Roll of cheese wire, about neck height set up as traps to decapitate any zombies coming close. Could even be used as a trip wire (so they fall over) or signal wire to alert if tripped. 

 

Everything else I would pick up on the way, you could survive a long time near a warehouse or large store. Choosing a decent base that was already designed for survival, i.e. war shelters for the top brass should ensure you could survive a long time as they are stocked with ration packs, medicine, weapons and have generators and communication equipment. 

 

Rather than being bitten I'd probably end up dying of something like a burst appendix or some other ailment that while not too serious required minor surgery. 

 

 

 

While I love the walking dead series and a good zombie film, the whole idea of zombies annoys me. Nothing about the idea makes any sense at all. Now a virus that killed off a lot of the population, well that's a more realistic and scary notion because that could happen at any time, But I'm playing along for fun. 

[Captain]

My hunting rifle.

My biggest revolver.

All the ammo available.

My thermal bag.

My hunting binoculars.

My leather hunting boots.

 

Bring it on, fuckers.

[Nunavut Patrick]

1. solar panel

2. kettle

3. cricket bat to ward off zombies

4. home brewing kit

5. hibachi

6. a sow and hog to mate for endless supply of bacon

[Dr Nowt]

The undead everywhere? I'd want 5 cigars and a shell suit.

 

Apocalypse Now Then.

[Rico1304]

1. The Minogues

2. Lube

3. Masking tape

4. A camera

5. A Michael Hutchence mask

[ZonkoVille77]

Few ounces of beak

Few packs of cigarettes

Lighter

Assault rifle

Another few ounces of beak

Marion Cotillard

I negged this by mistake. Somebody set the balance and I'll rep em for it

[Dr Nowt]

1. The Minogues

2. Lube

3. Masking tape

4. A camera

5. A Michael Hutchence mask

Why do you want them to look like him?

[Guest davelfc]

The undead everywhere? I'd want 5 cigars and a shell suit.

 

Apocalypse Now Then.

 

Why do you think they buried him encased in concrete. 

[Dr Nowt]

I negged this by mistake. Somebody set the balance and I'll rep em for it

I got him. He was shaking with a clenched teeth grin and just kept mumbling "6 times already."

[Jairzinho]

Should have seen the state of Marion. She's fucked off with the rifle and is looking for more beak. Wish she'd put some clothes back on first.

[Son of L8]

A chilled bottle of Chablis

About 100g of aged Roquefort

A box of Monte Cristo #4

A recording of the Goldberg Variations

A pair of silk pyjamas

A copy of Ulysses

 

... I'd be shit in the apocalypse, me.

[Dr Nowt]

1st Zombie: ...smart cunt said she'd see me for the money next week.

2nd Zombie: Playing you for a mug, pal.

[Rico1304]

Why do you want them to look like him?

Who else has had a 4some with the Minogues and Hutchence?