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redheart

Becoming a dad for the first time

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I’ll give you two pieces of advice.

1) During birth, stay up by her face, don’t go south, there really is nothing at all gained from that. At all.

2) Do what feels right for you and your partner/wife, fuck advice from everyone else. Kids are all different, so they behave different etc so what works for one, doesn’t work for the next etc. Do what you feel is right. That being said, still take advice 1) though...

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Don't go and play football 3 hours after your first born.

 

Apparently it is poor form.

 

Other than that, they will suck the life and money out of you and amaze you, and make you proud. And sad, and helpless, and exasperated, and dumbfounded, and unbridled with joy and never cease to amaze.

 

You will worry, you will wonder if you have done everything properly as they get older, you will be startled at their conniving ways, at their opions and then be equally as surprised when they surprise you with their resiliency and morals and such.

 

There really is only one love and it don't play in red.

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My second is due in a few weeks and despite all of the hard work it is the best thing in the world. You'll end up ignoring most advice but the best we took is that once the baby is a couple of months old start waiting for them to wake you up for the night feed. My son is nearly 2 and he has slept through since he was 3 months old. He typically wakes up at about half 8 now unless we get him up so we haven't had any sleep problems.

 

Only other thing is that if they're quite content don't assume you know best and move them as you'll often end up with a crying baby on your hands.

 

Try to appreciate every minute (even the hard parts). You'll look back and smile on them soon enough.

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Routine, routine, routine.

 

The little fuckers are a blank canvas, and you can train them any way you like. The following worked for us for both ours. It may work for you "out of the box", you may need to tweak it, or it mightn't work at all. But it suited us.

 

We fed ours every 4 hours, and settled on 3, 7 and 11. So on a given day....

I'd be getting up for work, so I'd take the 7am feed, leaving herself in bed. I'm out the door then at 8.15, and herself takes the 11am and 3pm feeds. I'm home at 5pm and do the 7pm feed. She goes to bed between 9 and 10, and I stay downstairs to give the 11 o'clock feed. Two of us up to bed then, and herself takes the 3am feed. And off we go again the following day. We always gave the 3am feed even if the baby was asleep. Tis gas how they'd never even wake up! Just instinctively suck away and spit it out when finished.

Like I said, that worked for us, and 2 other couples we mentioned it to.

 

Another couple of things we'd swear by.....

 

Don't let people bully your missus into breastfeeding if she doesn't want to. People say "breast is best", and that's true when you're an adult! But for fuck sake..we can clone pigs, we can create children in test tubes. Surely to fuck we can make milk powder have the same nutritional content as breast milk!

 

Dr. Browns bottles - Anybody we know that's used them has never had any wind problems with their kids.

 

Moses basket and stand - Ours lived in theirs for the first few months. The last thing you want to be doing when they go to sleep after their 11pm feed, is to disturb them to move them into a cot! Moses basket goes up and downstairs everyday.

 

Look after herself and don't be trying to drop the hand too soon afterwards. Her head will be all over the place, and as frightening a thought as it is, you'll be the sane one for a while. Proper take care of her like. Nothing job should be too big for you.

 

And like others have said...own room as early as possible.

 

Ye'll plough yere own furrow though, and it'll soften yere cough. Tis the one proper lifechanging thing that can happen to you. You'll have this little thing that's completely dependant on you, and it'll knock the shit out of ye. But you'd not swap it for the world. When they first grab your finger, first start giggling, first start recognising your voice.....all these things just fucking melt you.

I will warn you though, it'll forever change the way you hear news stories about something happening to kids. Like poor Jamie Bolger. When I first heard that, I was like "poor kid". But when I think about it now I've two young lads of my own, it breaks my fucking heart. Be prepared for a lot of that.

 

So that's the big and the small of it. Enjoy every minute 'cause before you know it, the little fucker/fuckette will be answering back and taking your ipad!

 

P.S. Ignore all the above! Except the sunscreen. Wear sunscreen!

 

 

 

 

Absolutely bang-on, and I second every word. Brilliant advice, and we basically did all of that,

Listen to this man,.This man has been there.

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Enjoy every minute. Say laters to any social life and watch the missus Google EVERYTHING about kids sneezes after the first sniffle. Ignore any advice you are given, especially from those who have already had kids and are nailed on to be in prison by the time they hit puberty. Don't plan any days out, just do them with you and the baby. Be prepared to bore everyone about what the baby did that day, they won't be arsed but the first smile you get from the little one will be the highlight of your year. And it gets better, my now two year old laughs and shouts "I farted" when he drops a loud one. Use sunscreen.

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Didnt know how to break it to you GF but dennis is having a milk tooth. I had been looking forward nervously but then I read this thread and Im making a mistake arent I? She is asleep next to me, what you say I could end it all for them both now, just need a little advice really, I wasnt planning on murder and going to jail but having just read this thread its a bit shit by the sound of it, would i be better off getting into buttplugs or other sexual niches Im not sure about this impregery debauchery? Thoughts?

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Mine gets fed by default about 11 when we wake her up. Then it's 3. 6.45 (on the dot) and 10 by her own demands. She's s fat little chunk. Taking 5-6 oz at a time and putting on a pound a week roughly after initially losing a lot.

 

Little legend

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They are, frankly, pointless until about three months when they start getting a personality. They just cry, sleep, eat and poop early on. So just go into a coma for three months and everything will be fine.

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Skids Jr is 12 weeks on Wednesday. Already in his own room and sleeping from his last feed at around 7 till 4 or 5am. Just moved him to 8oz.

 

Let him try potato the other day and he loved it.

 

He loves Ren & Stimpy as well.

 

As Furmedge says, it's the smile. That smile first thing of a morning makes everything else insignificant.

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Another good man down here too.

 

Expecting late in Feb. We've known a little while so was interesting to see this thread pop up before we'd had the scan.

 

 

Mind blowing stuff already frankly. I'll be bricking it come the birth

 

 

Mind you I'll be a boss dad though. I'm a right tit and in touch/in league with my inner child

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Another good man down here too. Expecting late in Feb. We've known a little while so was interesting to see this thread pop up before we'd had the scan. Mind blowing stuff already frankly. I'll be bricking it come the birth Mind you I'll be a boss dad though. If a right tit and in touch/in league with my inner child

 

congratualtions!  Get the drinking done now.  

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Another good man down here too.

 

 I'll be bricking it come the birth

 

 

 

 

RJ, its her that's giving birth, you know.

 

Congratulations and all the best....to you all!

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RJ, its her that's giving birth, you know.

 

Congratulations and all the best....to you all!

I'm the one sleep deprived at the moment with the snoring, middle of the night fridge feasts and sneezing through lack of anti histamine.

 

Frankly I'm doing the heavy lifting here!

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1) Constatly remind your Mrs how brilliant she is and how well she's doing

2) When your baby is hungry, feed it

3) When it's sleepy, let it sleep. 

 

That really is all there is to it. It's a fucking piece of piss and the best thing in the whole world

 

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The "routine" thing is all total fucking bollocks. 

 

The only "routine" you can realistically even dream of imparting on a baby is: Night and Day. 

Night time quiet time. Day time play time. 

 

The rest is dictated by your baby, not by you. It's utter horse shit. Hungry? feed it. Shitty? Change it. Sleepy? Let it sleep a bit. 

 

Ours was sleeping through most nights at 4/5 months and not since she was 4 weeks has she given us any kind of what you might call a sleepless night. 

 

Relax and they'll relax. Job done. 

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Another good man down here too.

 

Expecting late in Feb. We've known a little while so was interesting to see this thread pop up before we'd had the scan.

 

 

Mind blowing stuff already frankly. I'll be bricking it come the birth

 

 

Mind you I'll be a boss dad though. I'm a right tit and in touch/in league with my inner child

Welcome brethren.

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The "routine" thing is all total fucking bollocks.

 

The only "routine" you can realistically even dream of imparting on a baby is: Night and Day.

Night time quiet time. Day time play time.

 

The rest is dictated by your baby, not by you. It's utter horse shit. Hungry? feed it. Shitty? Change it. Sleepy? Let it sleep a bit.

 

Ours was sleeping through most nights at 4/5 months and not since she was 4 weeks has she given us any kind of what you might call a sleepless night.

 

Relax and they'll relax. Job done.

 

Pretty much how it's worked out for us.

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The "routine" thing is all total fucking bollocks.

Xerxes juniors x 3 were told their positions with Rafa like zeal from an early age, and it worked. Mrs Xerxes and I ruled, not the sprogs.

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Last 5 nights mines kipped from about 10pm to 6am. Don't know what to do with all this energy I have!

 

Tom is spot on about routines being bollocks. After 3 weeks we stopped waking her to feed her and everything has worked itself out.

 

Advice from a new Dad? Never cut corners on burping. It'll result in a vomit

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Best advice my brother ever had was no matter how much noise it makes, no matter how awake you are and desperate for it to shut up, don't move. An inch. As soon as she knows you'll wake up you're fucked!

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