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redheart

Becoming a dad for the first time

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Dear Liverpool Fan People

 

I am happy to announce that my wife has informed me that in six months I will have someone my own age to play with.

 

Yep I am going to be a dad!

 

Think of all the lego and the toys that I can buy! Get in!

 

 

However, on a more serious note....anyone got any advice? Any advice pre birth or post birth is very welcome

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Dear Liverpool Fan People

 

I am happy to announce that my wife has informed me that in six months I will have someone my own age to play with.

 

Yep I am going to be a dad!

 

Think of all the lego and the toys that I can buy! Get in!

 

 

However, on a more serious note....anyone got any advice? Any advice pre birth or post birth is very welcome

 

Congratulations mate.

My advice is this - go out now as much and as often as possible.

Apart from that, my advice is don't listen to too much advice.  It might seem like a massive responsibility and you've got fuck all idea of what you are doing, but there's nothing you can really do to prepare yourself for it, just muddle along and you'll be fine.  It's what everyone else does - no point stressing out over stuff.

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don't be so uptight. kids are like 97% rubber for the first year or so which makes them virtually invincible.

 

also, "the happiest baby on the block" (soothing techniques)

 

lastly, tread lightly around the missus. have ice cream ready at all times. and say shit like, "daaaayuuumm, you still look good in them jeans*"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*don't say that

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We had the 12 week scan (or in our case 13 week) yesterday (31st).

 

Twas joyous to see the little one wriggling around and moving its little arms and legs etc. At one moment I thought it took after me but the nurse told me that was just the leg! lol.

 

On a horrible note as we were waiting for the scan another young lady (unaccompanied) went into the scan room. I have never heard such primal screaming and crying. Then 30 minutes later the poor lass was led out presumably to a counsellor. Her tears and screams have haunted me all day (and part of the night hence why I am awake).

 

Thankfully ours is in rude health. Quite literally judging by the middle finger it seemed to flick the nurse on the scan lol

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Guest Slim(fast)Shady

Don't buy a "baby on board" sticker for the motor..

 

I doubt that the stolen Scuby Impeza is gonna give a shite that yes you are fertile...yes you have a wife/bird....yes you have a kid...when it narrowly misses caning into the back of yeh!!

 

Congrats...all the same

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Guest Numero Veinticinco

Nobody told me this, but fatherhood is a joy and a fucking nightmare. A joy because you finally understand what real love is. A nightmare because the worry - the sheer fucking worry - about your child's welfare over the next X amount of years is truly crushing.

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Nobody told me this, but fatherhood is a joy and a fucking nightmare. A joy because you finally understand what real love is. A nightmare because the worry - the sheer fucking worry - about your child's welfare over the next X amount of years is truly crushing.

Nobody told me this, but fatherhood is a joy and a fucking nightmare. A joy because you finally understand what real love is. A nightmare because the worry - the sheer fucking worry - about your child's welfare over the next X amount of years is truly crushing.

Louis CK on becoming a parent said roughly the following. He stated it was the ability to hold two opposing ideas at the same time and it makes sense. So you have a kid and it changes your life and perspective. You appreciate trees more and grass more and birds and the entire world. You find a more profound love in everything. You love your relatives more. You love your dead relatives more. It heightens your senses and emotions. And yet at the same time you regret every decision in life that you made that led to the creation of these little shits! And you see no contradiction in these ideas!

 

I am looking forward to it already

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Best advice I can give as a new dad is fuck what everyone else tells you.

 

Do what your instinct tells you and what the baby tells you, which is mostly feed me in our little fella's case. Get a routine going as well. It tales time to sort that but after a few weeks it starts to come together.

 

And enjoy it. It really is the greatest thing ever.

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Best advice I can give as a new dad is fuck what everyone else tells you.

Do what your instinct tells you and what the baby tells you, which is mostly feed me in our little fella's case. Get a routine going as well. It tales time to sort that but after a few weeks it starts to come together.

And enjoy it. It really is the greatest thing ever.

This. Her mates / mum will offer all kinds of advice. Well meaning as it will be, just do what is right for you. Still remember the feeling I had with both of mine as soon as we got them back from the hospital. Something along the lines of "Well what the fuck do we do now?" Just prepare yourself to be tired. So very, very tired...

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Guest Pistonbroke

Congratulations mate. Once you become a parent natural instincts kick in, some are great at it whilst others have to work at it. Just do what comes natural and try to enjoy the young years, it really is a special time. 

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Guest Pistonbroke

Nobody told me this, but fatherhood is a joy and a fucking nightmare. A joy because you finally understand what real love is. A nightmare because the worry - the sheer fucking worry - about your child's welfare over the next X amount of years is truly crushing.

The worry never stops, no matter how old they are. You just have to try and put it to the back of your mind or it will eat at you. 

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Guest Numero Veinticinco

The worry never stops, no matter how old they are. You just have to try and put it to the back of your mind or it will eat at you.

Yeah, it really is a nightmare. Trying to follow that advice but it's hard. Still, I've only had it for 12 years. That's a snip for some people.

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In 6 months time, you'll wander what the fuck you ever did with all your time. You won't wake up after a good nights kip feeling fully refreshed & raring to go for a very long time. As well as the baby, the list of things to do around the house & garden will become endless. You won't have too much quality time, either alone or as a couple ever again. What little quality time you both get you will just want to sleep. Which will make you both snappy as sex will become less frequent, cranking up the pressure in your relationship. Especially when she gets the blues shortly after the birth & becomes totally irrational & looking for arguments. And if you & the Mrs to get some time to go out & have a few, remember, one of you have to get up with the baby in the morning. No more holidays lounging on a sunbed,drinking & doing fuck all all day. Holidays will come at a premium too. Your life of being free & no responsibility will be ending shortly. Enjoy it mate, whilst you can.

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Guest Pistonbroke

Yeah, it really is a nightmare. Trying to follow that advice but it's hard. Still, I've only had it for 12 years. That's a snip for some people.

I also try, but it is hard at times. daughter is 18 years old now and waiting to start Uni, so she is out down the city with her mates at the weekend and gets back at 5am etc, hard to get a good nights kip until you here the door. 

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It's the most fantastic thing in the world ever. Your life will change forever but in the best possible way, you'll wonder why you didn't do it years ago. As most have said just muddle through, make everything fun for the baby and he/she and you will love it. Nothing better than getting a baby into hysterics, best sound in the world.

 

My only bit of advise would be for you to go to an NCT class before the birth. They talk you though what to expect on the birth day and while it doesn't exactly prepare you for it, it gives you some foresight that helps you understand if anything goes off track on the day and generally not to worry. It also gives your missus a network of friends who are all having a baby around the same time so she'll have people to talk to about it that are going through similar shit. You'll probably dislike their partners but you're not obliged the become their mates, I haven't and my missus sees her NCT group all the time.

 

Oh and don't push for sex too soon after the birth. She's completely fecked in the head and will likely have split her difference...

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Some advice we got that worked for us;

 

- don't be afraid to kick visitors out. There'll be loads of people wanting to see you and the baby but you need time to relax and rest. 2

Hours kip is never enough

- save some holidays for after your paternity leave and have every Wednesday off for 3 or 4 weeks. That way your missus knows that she'll be able to have a decent kip and a rest every 2 days as well as at weekends. This was a brilliant idea but I'll be fucked if I can remember who told us.

- get the baby into it's own room as soon as possible. They are noisy little fuckers and you'll sleep better.

 

Good luck.

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Routine, routine, routine.

 

The little fuckers are a blank canvas, and you can train them any way you like. The following worked for us for both ours. It may work for you "out of the box", you may need to tweak it, or it mightn't work at all. But it suited us.

 

We fed ours every 4 hours, and settled on 3, 7 and 11. So on a given day....

I'd be getting up for work, so I'd take the 7am feed, leaving herself in bed. I'm out the door then at 8.15, and herself takes the 11am and 3pm feeds. I'm home at 5pm and do the 7pm feed. She goes to bed between 9 and 10, and I stay downstairs to give the 11 o'clock feed. Two of us up to bed then, and herself takes the 3am feed. And off we go again the following day. We always gave the 3am feed even if the baby was asleep. Tis gas how they'd never even wake up! Just instinctively suck away and spit it out when finished.

Like I said, that worked for us, and 2 other couples we mentioned it to.

 

Another couple of things we'd swear by.....

 

Don't let people bully your missus into breastfeeding if she doesn't want to. People say "breast is best", and that's true when you're an adult! But for fuck sake..we can clone pigs, we can create children in test tubes. Surely to fuck we can make milk powder have the same nutritional content as breast milk!

 

Dr. Browns bottles - Anybody we know that's used them has never had any wind problems with their kids.

 

Moses basket and stand - Ours lived in theirs for the first few months. The last thing you want to be doing when they go to sleep after their 11pm feed, is to disturb them to move them into a cot! Moses basket goes up and downstairs everyday.

 

Look after herself and don't be trying to drop the hand too soon afterwards. Her head will be all over the place, and as frightening a thought as it is, you'll be the sane one for a while. Proper take care of her like. Nothing job should be too big for you.

 

And like others have said...own room as early as possible.

 

Ye'll plough yere own furrow though, and it'll soften yere cough. Tis the one proper lifechanging thing that can happen to you. You'll have this little thing that's completely dependant on you, and it'll knock the shit out of ye. But you'd not swap it for the world. When they first grab your finger, first start giggling, first start recognising your voice.....all these things just fucking melt you.

I will warn you though, it'll forever change the way you hear news stories about something happening to kids. Like poor Jamie Bolger. When I first heard that, I was like "poor kid". But when I think about it now I've two young lads of my own, it breaks my fucking heart. Be prepared for a lot of that.

 

So that's the big and the small of it. Enjoy every minute 'cause before you know it, the little fucker/fuckette will be answering back and taking your ipad!

 

P.S. Ignore all the above! Except the sunscreen. Wear sunscreen!

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