Mice

[littletedwest]

5 hours ago, Mook said:

Last night he only shat on the sponge we use to wash the dishes so we reckon it's a very real possibility that he can fly. I did see him leap right over a trap the other night.

 

This mouse has balls, I'll give him that.

 

No name yet, how does 'General Zod' sound?

You'll give him what he tell you to give him and he's not a fucking kid

[VladimirIlyich]

Of Rice and Naan.

[Bjornebye]

Yeah don't forget to tend the alfalfa before the match Mook 

[Mook]

I'm getting the professionals in.

 

£150 this little cunt is going to cost me & that's on top of the money we've already spent on traps, plug-ins & poison.

 

The missus was going to a cat shelter to get another cat at the weekend but I haven't got the heart to do that to Art after he's been with us for 6 years.

[Mudface]

You need to be ruthless, Mook, otherwise Art will just carry on taking the piss. Klopp wouldn't hesitate to bin someone if he was letting the side down, no matter how long he'd been with us. 

[Evelyn Tentions]

Domestic cats kill for pleasure rather than out of necessity for food. Starve your moggy for a few days. 

[Mook]

14 minutes ago, Mudface said:

You need to be ruthless, Mook, otherwise Art will just carry on taking the piss. Klopp wouldn't hesitate to bin someone if he was letting the side down, no matter how long he'd been with us. 

 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

I'm getting the professionals in.

 

£150 this little cunt is going to cost me & that's on top of the money we've already spent on traps, plug-ins & poison.

 

The missus was going to a cat shelter to get another cat at the weekend but I haven't got the heart to do that to Art after he's been with us for 6 years.

Mate I actually thought about this a couple of days ago and meant to ask how little man was getting on. 

 

Don't kill the poor thing. Get the missus to watch Fievel Goes West. You will have a new pet then. Art probably likes him anyway. They are probably mates. It will break his 'art'. 

 

Save the money, save the mouse. 

[Mook]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Mate I actually thought about this a couple of days ago and meant to ask how little man was getting on. 

 

Don't kill the poor thing. Get the missus to watch Fievel Goes West. You will have a new pet then. Art probably likes him anyway. They are probably mates. It will break his 'art'. 

 

Save the money, save the mouse. 

It wouldn't bother us but he's shitting on the worktop in the kitchen & it's been going on for two weeks.

 

He's going to have to go...

 

Probably back to Oxford where he was educated.

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

It wouldn't bother us but he's shitting on the worktop in the kitchen & it's been going on for two weeks.

 

He's going to have to go...

 

Probably back to Oxford where he was educated.

Fucking arl arse you. 

[VladimirIlyich]

The mouse is probably named Paul or Simon and Art feels a kind of kinship towards his bright eyes.

[General Dryness]

5 hours ago, Mook said:

I'm getting the professionals in.

Fucking hell mate, I know you want to get rid of the mouse, but is hiring a gritty 70s cop show really necessary? They'll be kicking your doors down and all sorts.

 

Get that Juliet Bravo instead if you can, she seemed nice.

[Mook]

2 minutes ago, General Dryness said:

Fucking hell mate, I know you want to get rid of the mouse, but is hiring a gritty 70s cop show really necessary? They'll be kicking your doors down and all sorts.

 

Get that Juliet Bravo instead if you can, she seemed nice.

Just wanted to get him a nice motor to run about in...

 

 

[SammyAftershave]

5 hours ago, Mook said:

 

It's easy to let your frustrations get the better of you but shoving Lallana up your arse still isn't going to get the baby washed (or in this case, convincing the troublesome mouse to move on). Just a thought, but have you considered hiding its clogs at bedtime. It could possibly slow it down, or at least curtail its after-hours dancing?

[Bjornebye]

I'm firmly on the mices side here. Poor thing. Hope he shits in your hair. 

[Mook]

17 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

I'm firmly on the mices side here. Poor thing. Hope he shits in your hair. 

He's going to end up on the taxidermy thread.

[Captain Turdseye]

At least leave him a bit of cheese out tonight before you have him murdered.

[Mudface]

2 minutes ago, Mook said:

He's going to end up on the taxidermy thread.

 

He's a bit of a perv, too.

[Mudface]

Just out of interest Mook, have you tried using a piece of a Mars bar in the trap? We were advised to use that by a council pest control fella when we had a similar problem in Hull. Worked a treat.

[Trumo]

22 minutes ago, Mudface said:

Just out of interest Mook, have you tried using a piece of a Mars bar in the trap? We were advised to use that by a council pest control fella when we had a similar problem in Hull. Worked a treat.

 

I don't think he wants a mouse that can work, rest and play.

[aws]

Good call. No more Mr. Nice Guy.  

[Mudface]

1 minute ago, Trumo said:

 

I don't think he wants a mouse that can work, rest and play.

It'll be a deep-fried Mars bar. The thing will die of a coronary within 5 minutes if the trap doesn't get it first.

[General Dryness]

25 minutes ago, Mudface said:

Just out of interest Mook, have you tried using a piece of a Mars bar in the trap? We were advised to use that by a council pest control fella when we had a similar problem in Hull. Worked a treat.

Its Scotland, he'd have to use a deep fried one.

[Bjornebye]

Something about deep fried mars bars and a poor innocent mouse 

[Mudface]

Fuck it. Just order a takeaway from that shithole in Glasgow someone did in the breakfast thread. Don't eat any of it (obviously) and leave it out to kill the poor cunt. You'll either find it dead in a puddle of toxic bean juice or so fat even Art could catch it.